Spouse not supporting the new you?

[Louisianagirl 0]

I want plastic surgery and he says I need to get it out my head. I just want to finish it off.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I want plastic surgery and he says I need to get it out my head. I just want to finish it off.

My dad is doing that to my mom. I don't think that they see we look at the skin and see reminents of fat. That is what bothers me. I am no longer fat, but I feel it because of this damn apron on my stoamch. Ugh.....

Have you tried to tell him how the skin amkes you feel or have you had a rash you could show him? You could always give yourself one!

[Louisianagirl 0]

Well I think he is starting to come around and see what I am talking about. I think he just thinks i will leave him or something but I love him and have too much to lose. I just want to stop feeling shy about getting undress in the front of my own husband that I have been with for 12 years. I think it would also spunk things up again like when we were younger...lol.

[Gummiebear 0]

My husband and I love eachother but when it comes to my weight loss or trying to lose weight I dont feel he supports me. He doesnt want my boobs or butt to get any smaller he tells me and when I want or need a fill he fights with me because he feels its a waist of money. He is also overweight and he sabatoshes me with buying stuff like oreos or wanting to go out to eat alot. When I ask him to please not do these things he tells me that just because I am on a diet doesnt mean the rest of the family is. I try really hard to stick to everything I am supposed to be doing but its just that much harder when everyone around you is eating Cookies or icecream. I dont have much support when it comes to my band besides these forums because I live so far from everything and there are no support groups in my area. The rest of our family it seems like they look at me and wonder when is she going to lose more weight? That surgery was a waist of money! Ect Ect.. I think they all expect me to get really thin and its just not happening. I believe a good support system is key in having success and atm I just dont have that.

[badonkadonkbutt 1]

Gummiebear, you are not alone....I have no support system besides a few friends that I can vent to. As far as having my husbands support, all I hear is how he didn't realize this surgery was going to consume me like it has.....he has told me I am being selfish for taking time for myself to destress now that I don't have my 'food' to do it anymore. He says I am always tired now, I am disconnected from him and you know what, its true. I have been with him since I was 13 years old, I am 27 now. I have never forced myself to deal with issues we were having, instead I ate. Now I confront things head on and he hates it. I don't know where my marriage is going but it doesn't look good right now and frankly I don't care. I know that sounds awful but I deserve some down time, I deserve some support. If it isn't him that is going to give it to me I will find it elsewhere.

[Arin 0]

I am so glad that I found this thread! Boy do I need to hear that I am not alone. I have not been banded yet, but my husband seems to be dead set against it. He is fit and athletic, has never had a problem with weight. He thinks the whole idea is a cop-out. He would be the first to say that I have not tied hard enough. If only he knew! So I have no support at home. My family is more than supportive but they live an hour or more away. It is very hard. We of course have other problems, lots of them it seems. He does not hug or kiss me now. I cant even think of what life will be like later...I have begged him for over a year to go to couseling with me, and still he refuses. He does not seem to want to change his ways at all! It is so hard. This is the time in my life when things need to change, this is my chance. I want to live a full and healthy life and if he doesnt want to be a part of it, then I dont know what to say. I am doing this for me, no one else. I am finally willing to look inside and see that I have lost myself. I have let myself become someone that is not ME. I am done being his doormat. We both have some changes to make, but if he is not even willing to try, I am still moving forward, I am still going to get my life back. I am so thankful that this website and support forum exist. I dont know what I would do without it! It is so nice to feel like there is somewhere to go to vent and get the support that is needed. Thank you for that!! Good luck to everyone who is struggling with this. I know how hard it is!