Shame in sharing WLS with friends/family?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I haven't kept it a secret from anybody but, I don't mention it on social media, etc.

Fortunately, I have received nothing but encouragement and well wishes from family and friends.

[animallover1247 249]

I know it's hard not to care what other people think but that is the kind of attitude you need. The bottom line is this is your life and your decision. Skinny people who have always been that way have no idea the kind of challenges an obese person deals with. If I do have it, I probably won't tell but a few people and its not because of embarrassment, its because i am a private person, always have been. I'm having surgery next week and only a few people know. If anyone asks me, i wont hesitate to tell them. Maybe that is what you should do...don't volunteer the information but if anyone asks, just tell them.

[Malagal 6]

Easy way out, LOL......I'd quite frankly love to know what these people think is EASY about major abdominal surgery. I've been selective about who I've told, but so far no one has said that to me... if someone does, they WILL get an earful, LOL. The people close to me who know I've had WLS are seeing first hand that it's not a magic bullet, that I'm still having to do the work. Don't let anyone rain on your parade; it's challenging enough to go through this process without being judged by ignorant people.

[jen45 1]

I agree it's a personal choice. I am a pretty private person myself, but felt I needed encouragement during the surgery & recovery so I told a few close friends & work collegues. I chose who I told, people that genuinely cared about me. People who saw this as a positive not a negative. I've had a couple of friends who have been concerned about the surgery, for no other reason than they are worried about the surgery. I had my surgery on the 5th June, and told my sister last night (she lives in another state) and the only thing she said to me was "you're a silly girl". It broke my heart to hear that. She's morbidly obese with a range of weight related problems. I thought she'd understand. Some people will be negative but I am doing this for me! xx

[Babbs 14,680]

If I was going to be a race car driver, why would even I listen to or take advice from anyone who hasn't driven a race car?

It's the same thing with telling people about WLS. If they haven't had it themselves, then why do I care what they think?

All the nay sayers can kiss my size 8 ass.

[BestDayEver 418]

The reactions have been interesting to say the least. In my situation, I've been surprised at the lack of support but I just put it out of my mind and go forward. Bought some new clothes in a smaller size and actually bought a few items in the regular size department. I see the difference and that is good enough for me.

[LivingLight 65]

@@Malagal For people who don't take the time to research the procedure, it LOOKS like, you go get surgery, then you just lose weight. I knew someone yeeeeeeeeeears ago who had a gastric bypass, and I personally saw her eating fries, cake, burgers, chips and candy often, and still losing. Eventually she put the weight back on (how shocking), but to anyone witnessing that, it sure LOOKS like the easy way out. Clearly I learned that this was not the case when I did some research of my own.

I am an information person, which is part of the reason I personally wouldn't be quiet about surgery. For me personally it's an opportunity to educate people (it's what I have done with my PTSD too, no sitting quietly in the corner for this girl), so maybe that "the easy way out" mentality will start to go away and people can start to realize that this is a tool, not a cure.

[x'smom 5]

Not I on social media either maybe after with like an amazing before and after pic, lol

[Debbieduck4 399]

I was really hesitant at first too and didn't want people to know. I didn't tell anyone other than my close family. But after awhile I began to think, "You know what? I did the HARD WAY.. In fact, I did it for more than a decade and it landed me with high blood pressure, prediabetes, sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, and really low self confidence." We find easier ways in life all the time for heaven's sake! We no longer write everything down with a feather and ink, we don't walk to work or school on snowshoes, we don't perform lobotomy's on mentally ill people, we don't do many primitive surgeries without anesthesia like they used to... and on and on. So... my point is this, I'm realistic. My sleeve is easier. It's not the easiest. I have challenges different than before, but it was an option to me that improved my health greatly and I now feel blessed and proud to have made the choice. In that realm, I tell people about it. I tell them I can't eat carbs, I can't drink soda, I must work out, I am forever limited to the amount of food I can eat. And its still easier, better, and life saving. For me. It could be for them too. Maybe they should look into it. But by that time, most of them don't think it sounds so easy any more.

[Dr-Patient 830]

It may not be a matter of feeling "embarrassed." More, just that it's none of their business.

You knew what you wanted to do, and did. That's what matters.

I only told a very few people; the rest? Nope!

[nana@52 41]

Nothing easy about getting sleeved no matter how well you did pre and post surgery. This was YOUR decision for YOUR reasons, don't let anyone negate the powerful decisions you are and will be making to save your life! No one has walked in your shoes, and until they do????

Edited July 3, 2015 by nana@52

[shellyd88 463]

I don't talk about it unless someone asks then I say I had surgery and if they want to know more ok I'll answer any questions I feel I made this decision for myself I don't need any approval from anyone whoever doesn't agree well they don't have to get sleeved or bypassed etc everyone who knows me though knows that I don't give a shit what your opinion is about my health and that I'd say so to their face if they tried saying anything like that to me or about anyone else and anyone who thinks it's the so called easy way out they should try following the guidelines we have to do wonder how long they will last eating only a few bites of food at each meal ?

[alicia-livin-life 8]

I haven't really told anyone other than my family. Now I'm down 70 pounds and everyone wants advice on how I lost weight. I hate lying but I do feel like there is weight loss surgery shaming.. So instead I tell a version of the truth and speak as little as possible. I've told people I only eat small amounts of Proteins several times a day. I did, however, come across a client who is in the same physical shape I was before and was desperate for help. I told her the truth. I can't hide the best decision of my life from someone else who could benefit from it. I fight with myself just to come out with the truth... But honestly I'm a bit embarrassed that it took surgery for me to get here. There are also some very judgemental people, my brother for instance, that will never know.

P.S. The "easy way out" thing angers me. This is anything but easy. In many ways it is the toughest thing I've ever done, especially mentally. But putting on my size 18 skinny jeans today reminded me it was well worth it!

[padremama 101]

I feel the same way Shamroxx, if I can help anyone else on their weight loss journey, I will. If I don't tell people they are going to think I've been sick, which has happened in the past. I've gotten a couple of bad comments but most people are very supportive. But either way it's a matter of choice if you choose to tell others or not.

[twittymilk 51]

Honestly you already know who will be supportive and who won't be. You know who is in your life and can hopefully accurately gauge their reactions. I told my immediate family because I knew they would supportive, I told a handful of friends and there are 2 I knew would be against it and of course I was right. I told only 3 co-workers and no one else at work they were extremely supportive even getting me a card on my first day back to work with a gift card for all the new clothes I will need. So all that to say go with your gut, you know who can depend on and who you can't.