Look Forward, Not Back: Don’t Let Your Past Stand in the Way of Weight Loss Surgery Success

[Alex Brecher 10,494]

You’re considering weight loss surgery, you’ve scheduled it, or you’ve already gotten it. Are you going to be successful with it?

Historically speaking, the answer is “No.” Maybe that’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s true. Just take a look at your past. You haven´t been able to lose weight and keep it off. It you had, you wouldn’t be looking at Weight Loss Surgery.

But that’s no matter. Your past does not need to determine your future. Replace old habits and attitudes and look forward instead of back. That’s how you will be able to get the results you want instead of the disappointments you used to get.

In this first article of the two-part series, we’ll take a look at some of the problems from the past that could stand in your way. Part 2 of the series will have a few more.

Problem: Childhood Habits

No joke. It’s hard to shake off the behaviors you learned while growing up. Maybe your family traditions were something like making pancakes and sausage on Saturday mornings, ordering pizza on Wednesday nights, and watching Sunday afternoon football while eating the usual unhealthy Snacks. Maybe your “habits” were actually lack of habits – maybe you didn’t grow up walking to school or playing outdoors every day.

Do you see yourself clinging to the old traditions, whether or not purposefully? Give yourself permission to let go of the old ones, and maybe even create some new ones. You don’t need to plop down in front of the TV after dinner just because you always have. Maybe you could take a walk. You don’t need to meet your parents at a favorite Italian restaurant every week. Maybe you could meet for coffee. Or, you could meet at the Italian restaurant, but change your usual order of spaghetti and meatballs to a salad.< /p>

It’s time to stop letting your childhood dominate your current life and health. And here’s food for thought: if you’re old enough to get weight loss surgery, you’re old enough to make your own traditions.

Problem: Mistaking “Food” for “Love”

This can be one of the biggest obstacles for weight loss surgery patients because it can lead to conflict between them and their families. Maybe it’s the Jewish or Italian mother who guilts you into eating, the Asian culture that requires you to clean your plate, the Latin American family that solves problems at the dinner table, or the African American community known for soul food.

Which of these or other food-centric cultures you were raised in doesn’t matter; the point is somehow food got confused with showing love. Somehow, eating for reasons other than hunger – for celebration, comfort, courtesy, expression of love – became cultural norms.

Your personal history may be weighing you down if you are eating to make other people happy. This won’t work for you. It can stall weight loss and continue to make you feel dependent on others. Instead, make the decision now to eat for yourself – to nourish yourself, to fuel yourself, to be able to enjoy life. There are many ways to give and receive love besides eating food that is literally killing you slowly.

Problem: Devaluing Yourself

You wake up before dawn to clean the house. Then you get the rest of the family up and ready, and make, serve, and clean up from Breakfast. You drop the kids off at school on the way to work, then pick them up on your way home. You help them with homework, make and eat dinner, and put the kids to bed. After a few minutes with your spouse, you hit the sack yourself. The day is over, and you haven’t had one second to yourself.

Sound familiar? If this – or something like it – has been your life for years, you’re setting yourself up for weight loss underachievement because you’re undervaluing yourself. Where’s the you time in this day? You deserve it, and it's up’to you to take it. It’s not something you should feel guilty about, but if you do, consider this: doing your best for yourself puts you in the position to do your best for others, too.

Problem: Hanging with the Wrong People

It’s true. The people you hang out with affect your weight just as much as your genes do. If your friends are obese, they may be setting you up for much bigger struggle than necessary against obesity. That’s because you are likely to make the same choices they make. You sit on the couch with them and order unhealthy dishes with them. In contrast, skinny friends may influence you to eat healthier and be more active.

If you notice your friends dragging you down, feel free to say something. You can politely ask to get together to shoot hoops instead of drink beer. Catch up at the park or over coffee, not over nachos. Collect and test healthy recipes instead of decadent Desserts. Changing those age-old habits may not be that hard.

If your friends refuse to change their activities and you still want to spend time with them, you can. Just be aware of how their choices can affect yours, and make sure it doesn’t happen.

Do any of the above sound familiar? If they do, think about how you can avoid making the same mistakes this time around. Some of the smallest changes in attitudes can lead to big changes in results. Stay tuned for Part 2 of the series for more!

[Beni 1,484]

When I had RNY October 28th, 2014. I was expecting to lose a little weight but I was sure I would be an underachiever in this journey. I had always underperformed in all my diets. In my mind, it followed that it was going to be the most likely scenario with bariatric surgery. There is a range of weight loss and of course I would be a slow loser. Not true at all. I have lost 99 lbs in 8 months. I have been successful beyond my dreams. I would have been over the moon with half that amount.

The difference, I am not hungry all the time. Now my hunger is manageable and I have (literally) enough time to make good choices about what I eat.

[7 Bites_Jen 479]

This is great! I especially like that you mention hanging out with the wrong people.
I'm noticing two types of people in my life: those that are food-obsessed and those that aren't.
When I'm with the people that are food-obsessed I find myself eating poorly. When I hang out with people that aren't obsessed I don't even THINK about food.

Great article!

[Dawn306 50]

Thank you for the bio Alex. It somehow is nice to know that you also struggled with losing weight all of your life, as did I, and, I imagine, many others reading your articles. It gives you more credibility, at least in my mind. Thanks for this, and thanks for starting this site. It has been extremely helpful to me. You must feel satisfied with your job, and good about yourself, because you are doing something that is close to your own heart, and that also helps people. Great job!!