Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip. I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

Edited September 11, 201510 yr by Jay05

I'm just starting the process but I'm only telling a select few. So far I've told 2 friends (one who had WLS recently) and my cousin. I just needed to share it with SOMEONE. Eventually I'll tell my mom but I would rather not worry her considering I'm only on month 1 of my 6 month diet for my insurance. People are still very judgmental about WLS so I really don't plan on telling anyone else. That's why sites like this are great. Even if I don't have much support at home I can at least get it here.

This site is great, I can only imagine I will be hooked on here even more after the surgery. So nice to have people who know how u feel!! I haven't come across anyone from the UK tho. I didn't have to do a 6 month insurance diet however my journey starTed last year January!! I have now been put on the waiting list. so hope to have surgery in Sept Oct time!! x

@@natnat919 hope your surgery(ies) go great! I'm also having my gallbladder out at the same time and can't wait to hear from you how it went. My date is June 30th.... 8 days away and soooooo excited!! Please keep us updated! I'm curious to know how I'll be feeling afterwards.

Hey there..... My surgery was on Monday.... I was surprised at how much pain I felt coming out of the Recovery Room. I kepIt saying out loud "I wasn't prepared for this!!!!". But I hit the happy button and all was fine. The pain meds are there for you to use, so USE THEM. I had 1 family member and 2 friends with me on surgery day, but I could barely keep my eyes open. I remember our conversations, but I was very sleepy. Was up and walking on the same day.... Tues wasn't as sleepy, but still taking some pain meds from time to time. Walked more....I couldn't Pee on my own, so I had to be catheterized in the middle of the night, they removed it on Tues AM and said I should be able to go on my own now, didn't happen. Finally, I turned on the shower and heard the Water and made Pee, Woooo Hooooo. then I was released. All of this time (with the exception of right out of the recovery room), I felt fine.

My brother brought me home, and dropped me off. I live alone and wanted to recover alone. I was shocked to see that I had gained the 10 pounds I lost in pre-op diet while in the hospital... all the fluids .. Took until Thurs to lose that 10 pounds, so it came off fast.. I was extremely weak, so weak that it took everything out of me to walk to the bathroom. It was like that on tues, wed and thurs. I think Wednesday was the worst day with weakness. I could only get in like 30 grams of Protein those days and drank lots of water. I've had zero nausea.....haven't taken any pain meds since I left the hospital. I have had a small headache every day since Monday, which I never have had before.

My taste buds have changed, I've always been a sugar addict, now every Protein Drink is just too sweet. Never thought anything could be too sweet before this journey.

Friday, I woke up feeling more normal. Took a short walk, drove to GNC to buy a liquid B Complex. Couldn't handle the chewable ones. I took a shower (yes, I needed one desperately) and washed my hair. All went well.

Tonight, I'm going out for a friend's birthday. They're all going to dinner and a comedy club. I'm going to meet them at the comedy club, so it won't be so obvious that I can't eat. Will sit there for an hour and a half and sip water. Only 2 of the 10 people going know about my surgery.

I've lost 12.5 pounds from my highest weight. The only issue I'm having now is that I've lost the sensation to Pee. If it's been 2 hours, i should feel like my bladder is full. But I don't.... everyone says that's normal after being catheterized. 5 days later and I still don't feel the urge.... so i just go every couple of hours!!!

Good luck to you!!!

Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

I had VGS done about 10 months ago, and have had time to reflect on the journey so far, so here's my perspective. What you're going through now is all part of the process, first you question the severity of having to resort to surgery, you ask what's wrong with me, then how are we going to tell everyone and the fear of their reaction, then making the committment along with the doubts that it might not work. But, what's going to happen to YOU if you do nothing? Are you going to suddenly find that perfect diet or your inner athlete just because everyone tells you that's the best way to do it? Or is it more likely that your weight keeps going up and your body keeps getting damaged?

So, embrace the process, some parts of it is going to be hard and painful, the potential remarks from family may hurt, but its a test of your resolve. When you are where I am in a year, it will be up to you to determine if it was worth it. A year ago I could barely walk, my hip had deteriorated, my knees were bad, lower back problems, on CPAP, diabetes and cholesterol meds, and I felt old (I'm in my 60's). Today, I walk at least two miles a day or more, off CPAP and meds, I feel better than I did in my 50's. Life is great, totally worth it! Good luck in your journey, make it about you.

The only issue I'm having now is that I've lost the sensation to Pee. If it's been 2 hours, i should feel like my bladder is full. But I don't.... everyone says that's normal after being catheterized. 5 days later and I still don't feel the urge.... so i just go every couple of hours!!!

Good luck to you!!!

I'm really, really glad you shared that they actually had to re-cath you. I'm a nurse and I cath people all the time, but I cannot have it done to me unless I am knocked out, so I'll let them know not to immediately yank that sucker when I go in for surgery in a couple weeks. Thanks for sharing!

Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

I had VGS done about 10 months ago, and have had time to reflect on the journey so far, so here's my perspective. What you're going through now is all part of the process, first you question the severity of having to resort to surgery, you ask what's wrong with me, then how are we going to tell everyone and the fear of their reaction, then making the committment along with the doubts that it might not work. But, what's going to happen to YOU if you do nothing? Are you going to suddenly find that perfect diet or your inner athlete just because everyone tells you that's the best way to do it? Or is it more likely that your weight keeps going up and your body keeps getting damaged?

So, embrace the process, some parts of it is going to be hard and painful, the potential remarks from family may hurt, but its a test of your resolve. When you are where I am in a year, it will be up to you to determine if it was worth it. A year ago I could barely walk, my hip had deteriorated, my knees were bad, lower back problems, on CPAP, diabetes and cholesterol meds, and I felt old (I'm in my 60's). Today, I walk at least two miles a day or more, off CPAP and meds, I feel better than I did in my 50's. Life is great, totally worth it! Good luck in your journey, make it about you.

Thank you so much for you response.. ı found your words really touching. You reminded me once again why I chose to take this path in the 1st place. It's already been a hard journey since Jan 2014! Everything seems to take alot longer in the UK. I can't wait to feel fit and healthy again! x

I only told my son & my youngest daughter cuz they will be there with me,my middle daughter(sad story but due to her husband i just told her i was having surgery) i am telling ppl i am having my gallbladder removed (with the removal of ur gallbladder u kind of have to change ur eating habits also) & since the beginning of the yr I have lost over 50 lbs on my own so I have been trying but with the surgery this time I will get past my road block & KEEP it off

I've told everyone except my brother, the personal trainer. I love him to death but after years of hearing how "easy" it is to lose weight ("just cut back what you eat and get moving") from someone who has to work to GAIN ten pounds, I decided I didn't want to hear the judgement when I needed support. We live almost three hours apart so by the time he sees me he can either figure it out for himself or think he was right. I've told friends and family to keep any mention of surgery off social media.

I've told everyone except my brother, the personal trainer. I love him to death but after years of hearing how "easy" it is to lose weight ("just cut back what you eat and get moving") from someone who has to work to GAIN ten pounds, I decided I didn't want to hear the judgement when I needed support. We live almost three hours apart so by the time he sees me he can either figure it out for himself or think he was right. I've told friends and family to keep any mention of surgery off social media.

I've told everyone except my brother, the personal trainer. I love him to death but after years of hearing how "easy" it is to lose weight ("just cut back what you eat and get moving") from someone who has to work to GAIN ten pounds, I decided I didn't want to hear the judgement when I needed support. We live almost three hours apart so by the time he sees me he can either figure it out for himself or think he was right. I've told friends and family to keep any mention of surgery off social media.

I've told my closest friends and my husband, they support me! However as soon as I told my mom she wasn't so supportive. So I'm keeping all other information to myself from now on.

I haven't told many people .. just my parents husband one aunt one cousin .. noticed my inlaws were very judgemental and ignorant when my husband has his surgery. . I just want to avoid any gossip or trash talk from any one because they think it's an easy way out. . Ugh .. rather avoid the topic .. every one just sees I eat healthier stopped drinking and noticed weight loss ..

I've told my closest friends and my husband, they support me! However as soon as I told my mom she wasn't so supportive. So I'm keeping all other information to myself from now on.

I haven't told many people .. just my parents husband one aunt one cousin .. noticed my inlaws were very judgemental and ignorant when my husband has his surgery. . I just want to avoid any gossip or trash talk from any one because they think it's an easy way out. . Ugh .. rather avoid the topic .. every one just sees I eat healthier stopped drinking and noticed weight

Edited September 11, 201510 yr by Jay05

This is a super interesting conversation. Thanks for sharing! I am in a similar boat as many of you - hesitant to tell friends and coworkers. And for similar reasons: what if I regain the weight?, what if they judge me?, what if it's awkward?, what will happen in social settings?, etc.

Another layer that adds to it for me is that I'm a pastor of a church -- so there's kind of a "spiritual failure" aspect to my heaviness -- and also a piece of my recovery process that is in public because of my public career. I'd hate to lose a ton of weight and have my congregation think I did it without the tool of WLS if that was the truth. Not only because it'd kind of be a shade of falsehood, but also because there are others in the church struggling with weight -- and my example could give them permission to get this kind of aggressive help.

It's sure scary though.

So I haven't told anyone.

I am writing a blog but haven't shared it on my Facebook or anything yet.

(Tobypass.wordpress.com if you're interested )

I've told my father,mother, daughter (who is 11) and step mother. They were very supportive. I also have told 3 of my closest friends 2 have had wls, of course they were excited. I also told my sister in law she also had wls. However I told one of my cousins and she was like "oh... How long have you been trying to lose weight?" I did not react to the comment. She is probably 500+lbs, she kept saying I need to get back on track with eating healthy and working out.

So after that conversation I won't say much about it to her because I don't need negative feedback or comments from her. My daughter didn't like the thought of mom having surgery, but I used that same cousin as an example of the reason why I want to embark on this journey. She fully understood. I haven't shared on social sites except instagram, under a different name. I just don't want to hear I took the easy way out.

This is a super interesting conversation. Thanks for sharing! I am in a similar boat as many of you - hesitant to tell friends and coworkers. And for similar reasons: what if I regain the weight?, what if they judge me?, what if it's awkward?, what will happen in social settings?, etc.

Another layer that adds to it for me is that I'm a pastor of a church -- so there's kind of a "spiritual failure" aspect to my heaviness -- and also a piece of my recovery process that is in public because of my public career. I'd hate to lose a ton of weight and have my congregation think I did it without the tool of WLS if that was the truth. Not only because it'd kind of be a shade of falsehood, but also because there are others in the church struggling with weight -- and my example could give them permission to get this kind of aggressive help.

It's sure scary though.

So I haven't told anyone.

I am writing a blog but haven't shared it on my Facebook or anything yet.

(Tobypass.wordpress.com if you're interested )

If members of your congregation are judgmental, then maybe they missed the "Judge not, unless thee be judged" (I tried to paraphrase it the best I think it is stated) saying that is written in the New Testament.

Edited June 30, 201511 yr by 4MRB4PHOTO