Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip. I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

Edited September 11, 201510 yr by Jay05

I don't think anyone needs to know other than close friends and immediate family.. Just my opinion

This is a super interesting conversation. Thanks for sharing! I am in a similar boat as many of you - hesitant to tell friends and coworkers. And for similar reasons: what if I regain the weight?, what if they judge me?, what if it's awkward?, what will happen in social settings?, etc.

Another layer that adds to it for me is that I'm a pastor of a church -- so there's kind of a "spiritual failure" aspect to my heaviness -- and also a piece of my recovery process that is in public because of my public career. I'd hate to lose a ton of weight and have my congregation think I did it without the tool of WLS if that was the truth. Not only because it'd kind of be a shade of falsehood, but also because there are others in the church struggling with weight -- and my example could give them permission to get this kind of aggressive help.

It's sure scary though.

So I haven't told anyone.

I am writing a blog but haven't shared it on my Facebook or anything yet.

(Tobypass.wordpress.com if you're interested )

I can understand how you feel my family is very active in church and many of my family members are ministers and pastors but when my uncle (who is a pastor) had the surgery they were all very supportive. Many of my family members struggle with obesity and so I do want to be able to show them that the surgery is a good option especially for those of us who are in our 20's. My plan is to tell them after I have the surgery done in case anyone decides to be negative. The people that I have decided to tell have been very supportive and are praying for everything to work out for me.

I've told my father,mother, daughter (who is 11) and step mother. They were very supportive. I also have told 3 of my closest friends 2 have had wls, of course they were excited. I also told my sister in law she also had wls. However I told one of my cousins and she was like "oh... How long have you been trying to lose weight?" I did not react to the comment. She is probably 500+lbs, she kept saying I need to get back on track with eating healthy and working out.

So after that conversation I won't say much about it to her because I don't need negative feedback or comments from her. My daughter didn't like the thought of mom having surgery, but I used that same cousin as an example of the reason why I want to embark on this journey. She fully understood. I haven't shared on social sites except instagram, under a different name. I just don't want to hear I took the easy way out.

Hi Thanks for sharing. You really have to be prepared for this journey... I've had WLS before that went horribly wrong. Now I am re-embarking on this journey nearly 7 years later. One thing I can tell you is that it's not the easy way out. Having surgery is a life long commitment to being on the ball forever. It's not like a diet where u can say oh I'm going for a meal I will carry on my diet the next day. You will need to learn about nutrition alot more after WLS than ever before. Trust me don't feel like your taking the easy way out. A doctor once told me... Obesity is a disease and WLS is just the medication you need. Good luck on your journey I hope everything goes well for you! x

I had looked into the surgery years ago, and decided not to do it. I was criticized for it and praised for it. This time, very few people know I am considering it. It is a decision between me and my doctor. I don't want to hear anyone else's opinion on it either way.