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I'm scheduled for surgery on the 22, and I also haven't told my family... I have said I have to have surgery on my stomach, but that's as far as it goes... I'm 40, been divorced for 18 years, have a 20 yr old and can no longer have kids... I'm the same, so I can relate to not wanting anyone to worry about you...

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Best wishes to you two for a smooth surgery!!

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Being private is not bad. Not everything in life is a Facebook status. I finally told my coworker/?friend two days before I went out for surgery. The skinny, blonde (yes, I may be jealous) immediately said "you don't need that, you just need to eat less". Who needs that wisdom; I think we've all tried that! Find the people who support you unconditionally and share what you're comfortable with.

FWIW: I was sleeved on June 1. It has been great! Good luck in your journey!

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Being private is not bad. Not everything in life is a Facebook status. I finally told my coworker/?friend two days before I went out for surgery. The skinny, blonde (yes, I may be jealous) immediately said "you don't need that, you just need to eat less". Who needs that wisdom; I think we've all tried that! Find the people who support you unconditionally and share what you're comfortable with.

FWIW: I was sleeved on June 1. It has been great! Good luck in your journey!

I like that! Not everything is a facebook status! :) You just need to eat less? She knows your average daily calorie intake, huh? Well, we all wish it were that easy :)

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I have only told 3 people, my husband, best friend, and a close friend. I told my mom today that I was having surgery, she immediately thought I was having a hysterectomy. She went on for about 45 minutes straight, no joke. About how I should not have the surgery and it will ruin me so on and so forth. I finally told her that I was not having a hysterectomy and she said why did you let me go on that long. Lmbo... when it comes to surgeries she is a Debbie downer. I have been in health care for over 15 years so I'm really comfortable with the medical field and the research I conduct.

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My surgery is In less than two days, and the only people to know are my husband and adult children. They are all extremely supportive and I feel I don't need anything from anywhere else. I've been yoyo dieting for years so it doesn't matter to me what others observe. This is something I'm doing for me, and for my future. My son was recently married and there was a table set up at the wedding in memory of people that were loved and lost. I swear I will do everything in my power to dance with my grand babies when they grow up and get married. I will not be a photo on a table. So I don't need two cents from anyone unless they plan to be right there beside me.

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I previously had a lap-band and had so many complications I decided to get it removed and get the sleeve done instead. I have had so many comments on losing weight the "cheating" way and why can't you just diet and exercise the weight off! If that worked all by itself I would have been thin years ago. I just got tired of the comments and so I chose to tell only my one friend that recommended the surgeon. My husband and mother think I got the band out and that is all. I choose to be happy without the drama ????????

Edited by Skylia

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Its crazy to me that so many people feel they can comment on other people's decisions. Maybe its just the people I know or because the area I live in, but no one has said anything but positives to me. Even strangers.

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I don't think I'll tell anyone but but my husband and siblings. I wish I had not told my mom. Her mouth has a hole in it!

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I am in the same private little boat. I have only told my husband and my twin- even then I had to make it clear it was not negotiable, I was sharing the information for support and because it would be too much not to tell with this dynamic. I have no intention of offering the information to anyone else, though I don't know yet what I would say if asked. Time will tell.

For me, there is some shame in not being able to lose weight, but more than that I don't want to have to explain myself to people at my age. I had a trial run a while back while I was just "thinking" about it. At that time I spoke freely about it and sure enough - everyone becomes a dietitian and health guru. I had people telling me they will get me in shape. I was athletic when I was younger and have had my weight gain for almost 10 years (around 8-10 pounds a year) and most people just tell me I just have to do what I was doing before. It's just too much to explain to them how the weight gain happened. I lost a son, and then a couple years after my mom and sister to cancer, and during this time I lost control of exercise and weight management. Theres more to the story usually, and I really just want to move on with my life and avoid the lengthy retelling to everyone as I explain my personal health decision.

So for now, I will tell them the TRUTH... I have lost weight by drastically cutting my calories. Maybe after the fact, I will say something, but for now - TMI. :)

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I haven't told many people either...my husband and best best friend are the only ones that know. I don't feel like listening to anyone's opinions as well as having them worry for me.

Edited by roseluv3

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Now that the weight is starting to come off there is a noticeable difference. I found that saying " I've been exercising regularly and working on learning to eat better with the help of my doctor and a nutritionist". No lies, no rebuttals, and it usually shuts people up. So, so far, so good,

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[alignright][/alignright]I have decided not to tell many people either. I am a teacher and have had to miss quite a bit of work over the last year due to problems with my abdomen. My wife is a teacher as well and has had to deal with almost daily questions from our co-workers about me. I don't want her to have to deal with that on this personal issue as well.

I have told my parents, my mother has been dealing with breast cancer and we have been a sounding board for each other, my wife and my daughter who lives at home. I will not tell anyone else, this is a personal decision, I am just telling others that this is surgery to remove scar tissue from my abdomen to work on other issues.

As far as the weight loss, I will just tell them it is life style changes.

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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    • Onedayatatime365

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