Jumping to Conclusions!

[Alex Brecher 10,494]

To the original poster, I’m sorry you had this experience on this site. I aim to make BariatricPal a friendly, welcoming community – and as you can see from a lot of the responses on this thread, most members here really are trying to be helpful! This is a place where I want members to feel comfortable posting their questions, concerns, and triumphs.

Please don’t leave the site just because a few members were rude or were perceived as rude. My advice would be to read what they said and see if you can get anything useful out of their words. If you are already eating healthy and you know which healthy foods to choose and how much to eat when you do find yourself at a fast food restaurant, you’re doing fine. You’re doing better than fine – you’re doing great.

And another poster was right – anyone who is/was in the position to get weight loss surgery isn’t/wasn’t always perfect with their diets. Don’t let others get you down.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

To the original poster, I’m sorry you had this experience on this site. I aim to make BariatricPal a friendly, welcoming community – and as you can see from a lot of the responses on this thread, most members here really are trying to be helpful! This is a place where I want members to feel comfortable posting their questions, concerns, and triumphs.

Please don’t leave the site just because a few members were rude or were perceived as rude. My advice would be to read what they said and see if you can get anything useful out of their words. If you are already eating healthy and you know which healthy foods to choose and how much to eat when you do find yourself at a fast food restaurant, you’re doing fine. You’re doing better than fine – you’re doing great.

And another poster was right – anyone who is/was in the position to get weight loss surgery isn’t/wasn’t always perfect with their diets. Don’t let others get you down.

Alex, I am so glad you addressed this. I think the most troublesome thing about all of this is that there are so many who justify and defend their rude comments by any number or excuses. They blame those who take offense. That's blaming the victim and that's what those who engage in abuse do. It's not what I said - the problem is that you're thin skinned, can't take the heat, freedom of speech, tough love, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

I maintain, and I have yet to hear a compelling argument to the contrary, that you can give advice and suggestions to someone in a way that is not offensive. If you can't then it says a lot more about you than the person it is aimed at.

[jjinWA 511]

I come to this site often and have gotten great advice and wonderful support from my fellow posters. Yes there are rude people who post rude comments. I decided a long time ago that their insecurities are just spewing from their mouth and I ignore their small minded pettiness, and simply let it go.

Some comments are really not meant to be hurtful, but instead are just not well thought out before they post. Others are meant to be hateful and those should never be posted. And finally others are meant to be straightforward and helpful, but are words we just don't want to hear so we are offended to cover up our pain or discouragement within ourselves. The outcome of the messages are up to the interpretation of the reader and the writer of the post. One may read the same comment and be offended while another may see it as simply funny, stupid, irrelevant, etc. We each are individuals and internalize differently. The writer knows what the consequences should be or at least was meant to be, but words are words and in text format the outcome could very likely be different then what was intended. (Though it is sad that there truly are hateful comments on this site from time to time. Thankfully, not often)

Months ago I'm was fairly new on this site and had posted my feedback on some topic. One of the posters replied that I had not been a member of this site for very long and that my thoughts weren't worth crap cuz she was a 'veteran' and I was a 'newbie'. At first I let her comments bother me...... Then I followed most of her posts and found her to be nothing special and certainly no smarter or better then me. So now I ignore her posts (never read them, just skip over) and continue to enjoy the wonderful, thoughtful, caring, and supportive comments that others post on this site. I agree with the others here. Don't leave this site just because of someone's thoughtless and rude response. So many others do care for all the WLS friends on this site and staying here, learning, sharing, and caring, puts you way ahead of those that would rather you be as unhappy as they are.

[Mike4132 256]

I think everyone just has cabin fever from the long winter. There's a lot of grumpiness and conflicts taking place lately, not just on this forum but on others as well from what I'm seeing. It's either that or there is just something in the air these days.......

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I thought it might be a full moon ... but nope, the next one's not until April 4.

Craaaazies comin' out of the woodwork.

[Jovie62 135]

Oh my gosh people! Chill out!

[jjinWA 511]

Case in point.