venting -- emotional rollar coaster

[Vikingsfan8178 62]

I am a 36 year old male with numerous health issues: depression/anxiety (mainly anxiety), low self-esteem due to my weight & my lifelong fixation on being obese, high cholesterol (on meds), borderline high blood pressure, pre Type II diabetic, suspicion of fatty liver, family history of early onset heart disease, and low testosterone (which I am 90% sure is due to my obesity). If you haven't noticed yet, just about every health issue I have is caused or heavily impacted by being too overweight.

Now, if you look at me, I don’t think you see the typical image of “morbidly obese.” What you would see is a former athlete that is carrying some extra weight. Picture an ex-football player that has a muscular frame but a high body fat percentage. Even the doctor’s nurse looked at me and said “you must being doing this for a health reason because you just look muscular to me.” I think the truth is that my frame somewhat hides / or just carries the excess weight better than a smaller framed person.

With all that said, regardless of what others “see,” I know that I am too overweight and I am 100% sure that if I do not lose weight, all of my health conditions are going to get worse and I will pay for it in the near future. This is why I am strongly considering weight loss surgery.

I feel like I am doing the right “homework” except there is one more book I want to read (deals with the psychological aspects of WLS).

The one thing that that just screams at me is “you are going to have 85% of your stomach removed!”

Excuse the language, but “DAMN,” that sounds crazy!

It makes me want to just try and do this crap myself but I know the end result is me losing 20 pounds and then gaining about 20 and still being in the same freaking shape I am now.

It just sounds crazy to think I would be losing 85% of my stomach (electively) at age 36.

I feel like I just bounce back and forth on this decision. Help me out.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Vikingsfan8178

[mae7365 372]

After your stomach heals, you will sometimes forget that you had 75% of your stomach removed. You just feel normal, but can't eat as much as you did before. To me it's like a miracle - I'm full on 1/8th the food I used to eat, I can eat the same foods I used to eat before surgery, but my new normal is less food and no crazy "I'm always hungry" feeling.

Edited February 2, 2015 by mae7365

[MichiganChic 3,262]

What is your height and weight? Your head might be screaming it's crazy for good reason. Know way to know without more detail.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

I'm 35, and like you, I thought it sounded a bit extreme. There were two things that really convinced me it was the right choice. First, I have dieted my entire adult life (and even some of my childhood). I have lost weight MANY times. If losing weight was an Olympic sport, I could probably be a medalist. What I SUCK at is maintaining weight loss. For me, every time I'd dieted, exercised, and lost weight, I've had this mentality that I was "done" once I reached my goal weight. I can never be "done" with my sleeve. It's there forever. When I get to my goal weight this time, it will be almost physically impossible for me to regain the weight the way I have in the past. Yes, it's possible to eat around your sleeve by grazing or eating slider foods, but that's now how I regained weight in the past, so I don't think it will be the case in the future. I've always been a binge eater and with the sleeve, it's just not possible for me to binge. Grazing has never been my thing, so I don't anticipate that being a problem, unless I really have some psychological self-sabotage thing going on that I wasn't aware of. If that starts to happen, I will definitely get some counseling!

The other thing that convinced me this was the right surgery was the fact that while VSG is fairly new as a stand-alone WLS, gastrectomies have been happening for decades. It has been the first part of the duodenal switch procedure for a long time and patients have had successful outcomes from that surgery for years. Also, gastrectomies have been used as treatment for stomach cancer, excessive ulcers, etc. for decades and those patients have gone on to lead healthy and successful lives. So clearly, while it seems extreme, it can be safe and healthy to have a large portion of your stomach removed.

This has to be your personal decision, but I think most people here would sympathize with your hesitation. We have all faced the same fears and reservations you are facing now and still made the choice to have VSG.

Edited February 2, 2015 by JamieLogical

[Vikingsfan8178 62]

6 foot, 295lbs

[Vikingsfan8178 62]

After your stomach heals, you will sometimes forget that you had 75% of your stomach removed. You just feel normal, but can't eat as much as you did before. To me it's like a miracle - I'm full on 1/8th the food I used to eat, I can eat the same foods I used to eat before surgery, but my new normal is less food and no crazy "I'm always hungry" feeling.

THIS is what I want to believe. I mean, I know I will eventually "forget" that I had most of my stomach removed...and if I can eat many of the same foods that I ate before (just much smaller portions) then that is a big WIN.

Essentially -- I love the bad foods and I crave big portions. I eat until I am stuffed. Food choices and portion sizes are my biggest enemy and this has been the case ever since childhood.

I feel like the sleeve could be the "reset" that I have always wanted.

[roundisashape 712]

I felt the same way, having this elective thing done at 36 - then I think about being 46 and trying to do this when my weight has me disabled already...or 56, if my blood pressure doesn't cause me to stroke out first.

A lot of people can do it without surgery. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of them, and it sounds like you think you probably aren't either. For what it's worth, I was a big portion eater too. I could eat once or twice a day and be content, but it would be gigantic, lumberjack sized portions and I couldn't sleep if I was even THINKING about maybe being hungry. This surgery has been the best thing I've ever done for myself.

I wish you all kinds of luck and insight with your decision!

[Mrs. Reid 392]

I wish I had the opportunity to do this in my 30s. How different my life would be now! I feel like a person has to be all in to get wls. If there is doubt then I'd say don't do it. I first started thinking about wls about 15 years ago. But I said no....I just need to workout and make wl a priority. And I did...I lost a good 70 pounds ..then put it all back on again. I started looking into wls again about 3 years ago when two of my cousins had it and lost over 100 pounds each....and are keeping it off. It wasn't until I had a comprehensive physical in August with blood work and organ testing did I find out how my body is starting to break down after 52 years of carrying so much excess weight. That is when I asked for a referral to the bariatric clinic. Nothing can convince me that I can lose weight and keep it off without this surgery. I have been overweight since I was 9 years old and it is going to end on February 24th!!!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I carried weight well too, and so when i was younger and "only"75 or so overweight it didnt look as bad as it was. My son is your height and weighs around 220 - he could stand to lose a few but is not obese. Another male friend of mine is 6'2" and weighs 180 - he is "skinny fit". I am guessing you are a good healthy weight in the general ballpark of 200# and no,I didn't look at a BMI chart its just a guess.

You have not shared what you have tried to lose weight before, but if you were my brother I would encourage you to get into one of those "lifestyle" programs that train you how to slowly change your whole life toward better health. i say this for 2 reasons - first you are the profile of someone likely to find success with that - younger, male, not as obese as some and history of fitness and second, it will remove all doubts for you, one way or another. also, everything you learn will help you be successful post weight loss surgery, so seems to me alot of upsides.

Truth is that the more advanced your disease of obesity becomes the less likely anything except surgery will work. Don't wait, do SOMETHING, the fact that you are pre-diabetic and have precursor heart conditions (borderline high blood pressure for example) even though you are fairly young and not that obese tells me you are in for some trouble if you let this go for another decade or two.

Good luck,I know it is a very tough decision. Everyone has doubts and fears but i do think the most successful over the long run accept it is really their only choice. If you always feel like it isn't quite right for you, and never really accept "life as a weight loss surgery patient" it might not be ideal since you will have rough Patches, you will have to work hard to keep from regain etc.

BTW, I went from very very obese to a normal size and have been maintaining for 2 years (3 years post sleeve). I am about half my former weight. I could never do that without surgery - and I TRIED to enter a lifestyle program before I decided to get the sleeve and they wouldn't take my money - ha! They advised me that I was very unlikely to enjoy long term weight loss and maintenance without surgery and I have always appreciated their honesty but I still think they are a great alternative.

[Babbs 14,680]

6 foot, 295lbs

You are at a 40 BMI, which is considered morbidly obese. Whether people think you "look" like you don't need surgery or not, the numbers don't lie. I was also at a 40 BMI when I had surgery, and was always told "I wasn't big enough" for surgery. Well, my high blood pressure, bad knees and diabetes disagreed. Now I do 40 minutes of circuit training 3-5 days a week, am off all my meds, and feel like I'm in my 30's again (I'm 47).

[Vikingsfan8178 62]

You are at a 40 BMI, which is considered morbidly obese. Whether people think you "look" like you don't need surgery or not, the numbers don't lie. I was also at a 40 BMI when I had surgery, and was always told "I wasn't big enough" for surgery. Well, my high blood pressure, bad knees and diabetes disagreed. Now I do 40 minutes of circuit training 3-5 days a week, am off all my meds, and feel like I'm in my 30's again (I'm 47).

Exactly -- this is what I have had to explain to my wife (and myself). The numbers do not lie. The health conditions and family history are as real as it gets.

[samuelsmom 670]

@@Vikingsfan8178

Since you are youngish -- why not visit a bariatric weight management center and work their program and see how you do? I went on a plan and worked for a year only to realize that I was gaining and losing the same 15 pounds. At that point I went through the process and had the sleeve done. I am very surgery averse and don't go to the doctor unless I really need to, however, that year gave me the evidence I needed that surgery was the best option. I am down 65 pounds and glad I made this decision.

Good Luck!

[Vikingsfan8178 62]

I love your post but I don't think a particular lifestyle program will work for me in the long run. For example, I used to do drug-free bodybuildy competitions. I once went from 260 down to 190 in about 8 months through extreme diet and exercise. Best I have ever looked. I actually had ABS. After the competition, even with maintaining my exercise, I put the weight back on and then some.

It happens every time.

It is a head game I think. I havea Masters degree in Exercise Physiology. I have a ton of knowlege about weight loss and fitness. But yet, I am sitting at a BMI of 40. I will feel guilty and hate myself over it but then I get hunry and go eat a big lunch full of fried food or I will go eat a large pizza for dinner.

It is like someone who smokes. They know they will eventually get sick from smoking, but they keep lighting up.

My hope is that WLS surgery would force me to "reset" due to the surgery and the post-surgery healing..and then provide me with a tool to maintain the benefits gained.

I am honestly tired of feeling guilty all the time about my weight.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Vikingsfan8178

[Vikingsfan8178 62]

@@Vikingsfan8178

Since you are youngish -- why not visit a bariatric weight management center and work their program and see how you do? I went on a plan and worked for a year only to realize that I was gaining and losing the same 15 pounds. At that point I went through the process and had the sleeve done. I am very surgery averse and don't go to the doctor unless I really need to, however, that year gave me the evidence I needed that surgery was the best option. I am down 65 pounds and glad I made this decision.

Good Luck!

I think the past 15 years have given me the evidence that I need to know that unless I go on a very strict and high volume exercise program, nothing is going to change. And even if I did, could it be a permanent lifestlye change? That is even the scarier part to me because I didn't get to this weight by having strong will power when it comes to food.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Vikingsfan8178

[phillyfan99 45]

@@Vikingsfan8178

I responded to a earlier post you made about a month ago and explained we were in the same boat. I am shorter than you and 15lbs less than you but have the same habits as you, work a desk job 37 wife and two kids.

I had my surgery on Jan 16th preop weight was 285, surgery weight 270, this morning 260, 25 lbs and didn't even work out yet (starting tonight). I am not hungry at all, I eat my three meals a day with two Protein shakes and a Protein snack. My meals are between 3oz to 5oz and I don't even finish them. I wouldn't eat if I didn't have too tbh. My wife and kids eat what they want and I have zero desire to eat bad. I am focused on myself and quality of life.

If you want to discuss anything message me and I will give you my email.

This was the best decision I made So far with life style changes.