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I failed myself yet again...

  • Popular Post

I am ashamed of myself..After sitting in the hospital for hours with an IV in me ready for my Gastric sleeve, I backed out of the surgery..Sitting there waiting for someone to remove part of me forever got me thinking that I did not really think this whole procedure through.. I realized Im simply not mentally ready for it. Perhaps if they rolled me right in and took me to the OR I would have done it, but sitting there for 4 hours left me way too much time to think stuff over..



Perhaps I will regret my decision perhaps I will revisit the surgery, but I want to explore a few more options as of right now. Yeah Im overweight, but Im healthy for now and just couldnt bring myself to pull the trigger..I have been crying all morning and afternoon and am ashamed of myself cause once again I quit myself. But it just didnt FEEL right...


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Featured Replies

Well, I DO know the band has worked great for some people but I have to agree with Bittersweet....there are complications and while they may sound minor, they are terrible to live through. Band complications increase over time (I had my band over 10 years) and all of my old bandster buddies from 2001 vintage are band free now...not because they didnt need a tool to maintain weight anymore...because of complications. I hear the band is better now, but even so the removal rate is still high.

So you go this route...be educated on 2 key things

1. While removable it often damages your stomach and makes subsequent WLS higher risk. For sleevers, revision are are about DOUBLE the risk of leaks and other serious complications as "virgin" sleevers.

2. To be successful with the band you need to work very closely with surgeon to fine tune fills. Be prepared to carefully manage that.

Get support from current band patients and go in with eyes open. I wish you the best.

{{hugs}} to everyone. Its a big step. You didn't fail. You made a different choice, maybe for the time being, maybe not. Its ok.

{{hugs}}

When I had lap band surgery in 2008 I did so against my surgeon's recommendations (he wanted to perform gastric bypass because of the amount of weight I had to loose). I picked the band because I wanted something that was reversible, plain and simple. I've had a whole host of complications, never found true restriction, and have gained and lost the same 50 pound 4 times. My biggest issue with the band is that I cannot eat the foods I am supposed too. Fruits and veggies have too much Fiber and lean Protein tends to be too dry. And, the band is picky (I often say it has a mind of its own) and what I can eat one day, I may not be able to eat the next.

So, it is reversible and I am having a revision to the gastric sleeve on the 29th.

I understand where you are, I've been there. You will know what decision is right for you. I don't regret the band. This journey gave me enough time to get my head in the right spot and be ready for the permanent change that comes with the sleeve.

I wish you luck!

Jennifer

  • Author
  • Popular Post

I think Im giving myself one more shot to do it naturally and gonna try and change my lifestyle back to when before I had a family. Im not stranger to the gym, so that part is easy. My biggest downfall is SUGAR...I LOVE SWEETS!!! So recently i have started an under 1800 calorie a day eating plan and have eliminated caffeine and sugar from my diet as well as breads and pastas. The inflammation has gone down already and I feel much better. The past 3 days I have barely hit 1200 calories and actually feel full cause i have been filling up on good calories and eliminated late night Snacks..Also I am getting some behavioral counseling for my eating habits cause my eating has been one bad habit.

I have to try one last time and have to absolutely know that surgery is MY ONLY OPTION LEFT.. I have to believe in myself I just have to.

But the lap band can be reversed if your not dealing with it well. The sleeve is a one and done deal. There is no going back if you have complications. Im just so afraid about the sleeve option for me where I think I would feel more comfortable just knowing I can go back if I choose to. Also I would assume the complications for the lap band are far less worse than the complications from the sleeve. Im guess temporary was a bad choice of words, but "reversible" is what I should have said.

I think you are verbalizing so well what many of us go through when we are making our decision--fear of something going wrong (complications). Why do you think YOU would have complications? Hundreds and hundreds of WLS surgeries are done every day without complications. Successful surgeries are the norm; surgical complications are infrequent.

Part of "being ready" is to have begun working on our self-talk and cultivating an overall positive attitude about the surgery--being ok with taking that "leap of faith" that your procedure WILL BE successful and uncomplicated. You arrive at this by doing your research, having confidence in your bariatric team, talking in person with as many post-op patients as you possibly can, and knowing that you already are preparing to be totally compliant with the major changes that come with your new eating/lifestyle bariatric plan that will be your forever reality.

My opinion is that if you are thinking about surgery with the intention of "reversing" it, you are definitely not ready. And I know your head is probably spinning by now, but please remain gentle with yourself and commend yourself for knowing (whether consciously or subconsciously) that you were not ready when you were lying on that table. You made the right decision at that time!!! WLS is FOR LIFE, no matter WHAT PROCEDURE you choose.

I respectfully disagree. I've seen way too many people walk into it with no nothing other than 'it can't happen to me' or blame the patient when things go wrong. I didn't think I would get all the issues I did. I thought it would fix them. I got worse than that.

So she is doing right to carefully consider this. Some maybe are more careful than others. No one goes into this thinking they will be the one with complications. Better to have things planned out like JerseyJules is doing, than get caught off guard.

I know. I'm paying the price. I'm not here to force or tell people to get it, I'm here to be honest about things and support whether the decision is yay or nay. I've had too many who withdrew their support of me once I showed that the surgeon sent the cops after me when "female is doing nothing wrong". That should tell you what happens when people speak to others honestly about their experience.

Is that the kind of "support" you want any way?

s

I think Im giving myself one more shot to do it naturally and gonna try and change my lifestyle back to when before I had a family. Im not stranger to the gym, so that part is easy. My biggest downfall is SUGAR...I LOVE SWEETS!!! So recently i have started an under 1800 calorie a day eating plan and have eliminated caffeine and sugar from my diet as well as breads and pastas. The inflammation has gone down already and I feel much better. The past 3 days I have barely hit 1200 calories and actually feel full cause i have been filling up on good calories and eliminated late night Snacks..Also I am getting some behavioral counseling for my eating habits cause my eating has been one bad habit.

I have to try one last time and have to absolutely know that surgery is MY ONLY OPTION LEFT.. I have to believe in myself I just have to.

These responses from all your caring friends will remain here when or if you need them again. Great to hear of your decision. It is so OK to just keep doing what feels right for YOU. Surgery is not for everyone and just may not be for you.

It sounds like you have a great plan in place. Changing our relationship with food is a huge key to success with any weight loss program, so behavorial counseling will certainly give you some good ideas for keeping on track.

Believe in yourself, as you say! You can (and need to be) your own best cheerleader.

I respectfully disagree. I've seen way too many people walk into it with no nothing other than 'it can't happen to me' or blame the patient when things go wrong. I didn't think I would get all the issues I did. I thought it would fix them. I got worse than that.

So she is doing right to carefully consider this. Some maybe are more careful than others. No one goes into this thinking they will be the one with complications. Better to have things planned out like JerseyJules is doing, than get caught off guard.

I know. I'm paying the price. I'm not here to force or tell people to get it, I'm here to be honest about things and support whether the decision is yay or nay. I've had too many who withdrew their support of me once I showed that the surgeon sent the cops after me when "female is doing nothing wrong". That should tell you what happens when people speak to others honestly about their experience.

Is that the kind of "support" you want any way?

Umm, cops? What are you talking about?

I was on public property, people would go by the office and I'd say things like good luck, or where's the voice for those of us who didn't have a positive experience. No yelling, cursing, stopping people from going in, etc. Because I tell people things to look for like:

* 40-45% profit margin for bariatric practices,

* investigate a surgeons' experience, research, knowledge of complications, do they tell people that problems are "all in their head"

* my records where the surgeon acknowledged me asking him why he had left me in pain for so long when he said he'd treat me like his family (actually the records say 'treat white count with family')

* do they follow ASMBS guidelines

* not verifying that there is a legal document of some type that bars you being accepted at other bariatric practices in the area once you've gotten the surgery at one place

the center called the cops to give me a "history". The cops told them she's doing nothing illegal or "wrong" is the actual quote. They told them to "leave me alone" because I said the surgeon followed me.

You see, when there is a 40-45% profit margin, how many businesses are going to not want you to speak? Remember, surgery is a one shot deal (98% of people due to cost/insurance).

Why In pain For So long



If that comes thru, that is the bariatric surgeons' comment in my medical records and that one item is true (so many things I had to correct). I've been noting up the times he wrote in the records that I had pain after surgery and I was left for months with it. He said it was because I wasn't eating. I said if you got rid of the pain, I would eat.


He even acknowledged I gained weight after getting rid of the gallbladder.

Edited by swimbikerun

  • Author

Here is the creepy part to my story...I was going to wear a hooded sweatshirt that advertises my friends business the day of surgery, but decided against it for some reason I cant explain.. Later that day after I backed out, that same friend explained to me that he didnt want to say anything to me, but his mother had WLS and was back in the hospital 2 weeks later and put in the ICU for one month. She was home 2 weeks from the ICU and passed away due to complications caused by the surgery. I really wish he would have told me before I almost did it at the time..

I really need to try one more time on my own and here is why..I was sitting there waiting for surgery across from a very large woman who was waiting also for surgery. she barely walked in on her own and looked very unhealthy. At that moment I asked myself, "AM I REALLY AT THE SAME POINT SHE IS? DO I REALLY HAVE ZERO OPTIONS LEFT?"

To me at the time the risks of surgery did not outweigh my current state of health.. I walked in on my own, I can still run and do all sorts of stuff, I can still make love to my wife (and very well I might add..lol), I can still care for myself and my kids..I have not reached a point in my life where I was ready to quit on myself. I was not defeated like that poor woman looked. I understand the WLS is a tool to help, but I really need to make 100% sure its the right and only tool for me...I have shelved the idea of WLS totally for at least a few months. I want to see where I can get myself on my own with the tools I already have..

Thank you all for your caring support, as I said before, you guys are the best people on the internet..

No Worries @@JerseyJules, Sounds like you are doing what's best for you. Wish you the best on your journey.

Edited by ProjectMe

All the best to you, JerseyJules!

@jerseyjules Good Luck. I saw an interesting new product that the FDA has just approved which is surgically implanted and controls hunger signals. Hopefully you will do great and not need any intervention. However, with technology you never know what may be available when you need it!

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