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Sad and shocked

I saw a clip of myself on a video at church and could not believe that HUGE lady was me!!!! I cried all day and really need to have surgery immediately!!! I can NOT believe I let it get this out of hand! When I look into the mirror I don't look that large! ????

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@@VGB Don't be upset. Picture and videos are a turning point for a lot of people. I have one in my gallery that helped me decide to have surgery and it isn't even the worst one. The good thing about having that is you can use it as motivation and see just how far you've come and where you don't want to go back to!

Isn't it strange how our self perception can be so inaccurate? I weighed over 240 lbs, couldn't walk more than a block without pain, had almost all the worst comorbidities, and yet told myself that I wasn't so bad off that I needed to take immediate action. It took a photo of me holding my grandson to give me a clue.

I think body dysmorphic disorder doesn't only affect people with anorexia/bulimia who think their skeletal figures are morbidly obese... when you look at yourself every day, you just look like you. When I saw a picture and my belly was bigger than my boobs - it was part of my turning point too.

I have to agree with you, when I used to look in the mirror I used to convince myself I didn't look that bad. But then again I would suck in my gut and stand at a flattering angle, so I think I was just conning myself. Sadly a photo doesn't lie and even though it's upsetting to see yourself in a way that's completely unflattering you should keep it as motivation! I have a series of unflattering photos to remind me why I'm doing all this in the first place :).

Seeing my "Ice Bucket Challenge" video at work and knowing it was going on YouTube was the moment I decided I needed WLS. I didn't recognize the person in the video at all. It was like looking at a familiar stranger. I knew I had gotten big, my clothes barely fit anymore. But it was seeing myself in the video that truly opened my eyes and motivated me to make a drastic change.

@@VGB I know what you mean, I hate when people at work take pictures of me even though I ask them not to, and when I see them on the work shared drive I don't even recognize myself. My surgery date is Feb 9th too. =)

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I want to just lay in the bed until the 8th and spend the night in the hospital to already be there on the 9th! If I had low self esteem and didn't know who I am in Christ that would have sent me into a depression! I am borderline in a depression right now! I just thank God that he is making it possible for the surgery to happen! *Please no one get offended I am not saying Christians don't get depressed cause we do*

I just have to comment on this. Honestly, up until the last year or so when my feet have started to bother me, i ignore the fact that I am MO since I hardly ever look in a full length mirror. My brother who would be classified as super MO is the same way. Our health is fine, but obviously could quickly change. Anyhow I have finally realized how I really look to others now. I am in the process of getting my date for surgery, etc... Good luck to you and I know Christians can get depressed as well. I have many friends who are Christians and depressed about different things, one being obesity. You are changing this problem in your life with this miraculous tool Take care and keep your chin up!

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I just have to comment on this. Honestly, up until the last year or so when my feet have started to bother me, i ignore the fact that I am MO since I hardly ever look in a full length mirror. My brother who would be classified as super MO is the same way. Our health is fine, but obviously could quickly change. Anyhow I have finally realized how I really look to others now. I am in the process of getting my date for surgery, etc... Good luck to you and I know Christians can get depressed as well. I have many friends who are Christians and depressed about different things, one being obesity. You are changing this problem in your life with this miraculous tool Take care and keep your chin up!

Thank you!

I don't even have a "before* pic because I deleted every picture that had me in it. I wouldn't even look at myself in the mirror. Darn I wish I had that "before" pic now! :(

I saw a picture of me taken at our daughter's graduation for her Master's degree. At that point, I had lost nearly 100 lbs (not via surgery; have gained about 40 back; surgery hopefully end of this month...) - I knew I was still big, but was so proud of my super-strict-doctor-diet weight loss that I consented to a family picture at the graduation.

OMG!! I was STILL huge!!! To be so proud of your child for her accomplishment and HATE the family picture is a horrible place to be mentally -- but hopefully soon, I'll be on my way to permanent loser-dom :o) and so will you...

If it makes you feel better, I saw myself in a security video the other day, and I was like, holy crap, I do not look hot! As of this morning I am 132 pounds and it looks like I wadddle when I walk. Also, my butt is giant looking compared to how I thought it looked in a mirror. I have a camera at my house that we turn on when we're leaving and I forgot to turn if off while I was changing one day a few months ago...oh yes, naked Ava was not hot at all- I could actually see all my rolls of skin flapping as I walked. That day I decided on plastic surgery.

At any rate, I also know how you feel about seeing yourself on camera, although I also tend to wonder if our opinion is not influenced by the other people we see on camera. For the most part, we don't see normal people on video- we see touched up, attractive, movie stars in the video medium, so when we compare ourselves, it's not quite the same thing as seeing a picture, where we're used to what normal people look like. Unfortunately, video doesn't lie, but maybe our perception is a little off. (Or at least I hope so, lol)

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