I haven't done anything right

[tart 21]

I was feeling guilty for having puréed Beans instead of broth 6 days out. I am craving Water and real food. sugar free Jello and salty broth eeewwww. Yogurt is sweet enough and Protein shakes tasted good before sleeve task gross right now.

[ELI.p.m 44]

Gosh, I'm amazed at how much posts like this affect me. I want so badly to succeed and when I hear of someone having a hard time it scares me....gives me the feeling that I'm going to mess up and not lose the weight. It's like "See! People have the surgery and they still overeat! It's possible that you're going to have the surgery and still be fat!" It just seems that I have worked so hard to change my habits and this surgery means so much to me. Gosh I feel like I'm going to cry.

Iam sorry but don't let this discourage you. I'm NOT over eating that's impossible the choices I'm making in the foods that go in my mouth is in my power with or without this surgery. I can't eat like before I eat about 1/2 cup of Soup in about 30 min or if it chicken something with texture I can prob eat not more than 2oz. So my rant is about the little bit that I can eat I'm choosing to have chips n cheesecake instead of my protiens and Water. The surgery is wonderful I've lost 30lb in 1 month even with my bad habits.

[ELI.p.m 44]

I rant here because my family doesn't understand how hard it is . They know about my surgery but they sit there n make fun of what I can't eat. They waive the food in my face. Iam strong and laugh it off but it kinda wants to make me cry. I don't blame them for what I put in my mouth. I come here for words of encouragement, "tough love" and reminders of why I did this. The words I don't get at home. Thanks all you guys really help.

[vincereautmori 323]

I rant here because my family doesn't understand how hard it is . They know about my surgery but they sit there n make fun of what I can't eat. They waive the food in my face. Iam strong and laugh it off but it kinda wants to make me cry. I don't blame them for what I put in my mouth. I come here for words of encouragement, "tough love" and reminders of why I did this. The words I don't get at home. Thanks all you guys really help.

Well, its good to hear you're fighting a good fight, I guess we were kind of worried. But be more assertive, this is your health, don't laugh it off and demand some respect for your decision, if they don't understand then make them understand. They won't love you any less for it.

[ELI.p.m 44]

Idk if you guys ever read my previous posts but I don't have a "team" or nutritionist I can't afford one. I don't have insurance either. I went to the hospital for a hernia pain in October 1 and in my follow up appointment (October 8) the doctor told me they weren't going to repair my hernia with my weight and the suggested getting sleeved I agreed and got sleeved nov 24 the hospital covered everything 100% I am eternally grateful. So there wasen't any psychologist just acouple of discharge papers.

[samuelsmom 670]

I rant here because my family doesn't understand how hard it is . They know about my surgery but they sit there n make fun of what I can't eat. They waive the food in my face. Iam strong and laugh it off but it kinda wants to make me cry. I don't blame them for what I put in my mouth. I come here for words of encouragement, "tough love" and reminders of why I did this. The words I don't get at home. Thanks all you guys really help.

Wow, this really puts a whole other perspective on this. Keep your chin up! You can do this. Don't let these people ruin your life! Also, since your insurance cover the procedure, they might cover a nutritionist visit. This might be a real help. Good Luck!

[Miss Mac 6,261]

You do realize that those unsupportive people in your home are abusing you? Why are you still there? Apparently, they would rather see your sleeve rip a leak so that you can get sepsis and die. Then that would not be so funny. If they were holding you down and shoving the food in your mouth, that is different from you volunteering to give in to the temptation. You have to be careful, too, to stop abusing yourself.

I would suggest to go on Youtube and warch one of the longer videos that shows an actual sleeve operation so that you can be reminded of what has happened to your stomach. Believe me....complications are horrible. Please start taking better care of yourself. Hopefully you would not let a toddler eat anything it wants, or let it walk out into the street.

Just think of your new tummy as a helpless infant in need of your diligent care. Give your new stomach a name. Mine is Miss Tummy, and she is the boss of me. Make sure you have acceptable foods in the house, even if you have to go to Walmat and get a mini-fridge and put a padlock on it. This is WAR!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Idk if you guys ever read my previous posts but I don't have a "team" or nutritionist I can't afford one. I don't have insurance either. I went to the hospital for a hernia pain in October 1 and in my follow up appointment (October 8) the doctor told me they weren't going to repair my hernia with my weight and the suggested getting sleeved I agreed and got sleeved nov 24 the hospital covered everything 100% I am eternally grateful. So there wasen't any psychologist just acouple of discharge papers.

You should still be having follow up care for your sleeve. Honestly I question a doctor who would spring such a life altering surgery on a patient without them fully understanding the ramifications of it. I also worry that you so readily agreed to this without completely understanding all that is required.

Either way, you've had it done. It doesn't matter that you aren't getting sick from not eating the right things. At this rate your body will get malnourished so you are setting yourself up for trouble down the road.

[Kindle 8,667]

You should still be having follow up care for your sleeve. Honestly I question a doctor who would spring such a life altering surgery on a patient without them fully understanding the ramifications of it. I also worry that you so readily agreed to this without completely understanding all that is required.

Either way, you've had it done. It doesn't matter that you aren't getting sick from not eating the right things. At this rate your body will get malnourished so you are setting yourself up for trouble down the road.

Ditto!

if you haven't already, you need to sit down with your surgeon and go over all of the postop nutritional requirements. It's really not about the weight loss, it's about being healthy. It's about proper healing and avoiding complications and it's about preventing malnutrition in the long term. Up to 90% of gastrectomy patients develop deficiencies within 10 years. It is important to know what supplements to take and to do regular followup bloodwork. If your surgeon did not cover these things with you, he is negligent and certainly guilty of malpractice. If he did provide you with this info then again, it's all on you at this point. You could also Google Bariatric surgery after care, etc and there are several well renown facilities that have their postop documentation posted online. Or I or many others could send you a copy of our requirements. What about local support groups....OA, etc.? The support and info is available, you can choose to follow it or not. And don't let the insurance thing be your excuse, either. My insurance doesn't cover WLS, so this has all been OOP costs for me, including surgery, bloodwork and followup stuff.

As for the people in your house...are these kids and a husband or parents/siblings or roommates? The 1st group needs a serious sit down and talking to. If it's one of the other two groups, you need to move! Not because it's their fault that you are choosing to sabotage yourself, but because they obviously don't give a shit about you or your feelings so why would you want to have them in your life at all?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I agree wit Kindle, many of the top bariatric surgery programs have their surgery manuals online. Try searching bariatric center of excellence surgery manual.

Read a manual (or more than one).

Read the posts on this site.

Take notes.

Look for support (OA, support groups through hospitals, therapists, nutritionists, etc.)

Do you have access to a YMCA or gym? Use it.

My surgeon's biggest rules/priorities:

Water (at least 64 oz).

Protein (my goal is 100 grams, it depends on your starting weight)

Exercise (work up to at least an hour a day) -- start with walking frequently

Follow the post-op phases carefully, they are designed to help you heal (ie, texture of food).

Vitamins/supplements (see surgery manuals or your primary care doctor).

I am still pre-op and still learning.

I wish you all the best.

[ELI.p.m 44]

I ve got and been getting info from here I did start googling like crazy before I had the surgery but I am have to go get a pass at it again. as for the people I live with its my husbands family (in-laws) we live with them because our house got burnt down a year ago we've been trying to get back on our feet since then but it's been hard we bought an old kinda broken down house and fixing it we're almost done I see light at the of the tunnel, as for food it's their house and I can't tell them don't bring junk food ect I do buy my own food and I have been good for the first 3 weeks ( actually scared to try anything new) but this week was horrible and I think it was emotional eating because I miss my own loving caring family. I have a follow up appointment jan 14 I'm ask to see a nutritionist. As for now I'm sit and talk with them and ask them to stop because it really is difficult and I don't think it's funny at all ( they say I took the easy way out ) EASY pffff as if. My husband is so supportive he knows his family are mean and defends me all the time but they don't care what you tell them they laugh it off and make fun of you.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Eli,

Your in-laws will continue to abuse you until you stand up to them. And even then they might keep going.

The more important thing is to not allow their abuse control YOUR behavior. If they verbally abuse you and tease you -- and your response is to eat foods that are bad for you -- that second part is on you.

You and your husband need to get the hell out of there fast.

Good luck.

[Kindle 8,667]

I ve got and been getting info from here I did start googling like crazy before I had the surgery but I am have to go get a pass at it again. as for the people I live with its my husbands family (in-laws) we live with them because our house got burnt down a year ago we've been trying to get back on our feet since then but it's been hard we bought an old kinda broken down house and fixing it we're almost done I see light at the of the tunnel, as for food it's their house and I can't tell them don't bring junk food ect I do buy my own food and I have been good for the first 3 weeks ( actually scared to try anything new) but this week was horrible and I think it was emotional eating because I miss my own loving caring family. I have a follow up appointment jan 14 I'm ask to see a nutritionist. As for now I'm sit and talk with them and ask them to stop because it really is difficult and I don't think it's funny at all ( they say I took the easy way out ) EASY pffff as if. My husband is so supportive he knows his family are mean and defends me all the time but they don't care what you tell them they laugh it off and make fun of you.

So sorry about your house....I went through that many years ago, and even though insurance took care of everything, it was nearly a year to get everything back to normal. Fortunately I was able to rent an apartment in the interim (I had no family nearby at that point). As for living with inlaws, I did that straight out of college. We made it two months before we both got second jobs so we could move out!

Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, but it is so important for you to take an active role in your own health right now. Take control of the things you can take control of and own this journey.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

I agree, don't give them any power over you.

8 1/2 years ago, I fled an abusive psychotic now ex-husband (who kept six loaded guns in the house) in the middle of the night. My dear sister (who had just lost her husband to cancer four months earlier) took me into her home 300 miles away.

I will forever be grateful to her for giving me shelter. I had not had my surgery then, but I was trying really hard to lose weight. I bought special groceries for myself because her house was full to the rafters with junk food. There was nothing nutritious in the house and she and her kids were (and still are) obese like I was at the time.

Hard as I tried to get them to eat healthy, she insisted that the kids would not eat fresh fruits and veggies and lean meat that did not come from KFC or Burger King. But guess what? It seemed like no matter what I brought in for myself and shoved to the back of the fridge, the kids would dig that out - eat my stuff, and then eat their stuff too.

I love, love, love my sister, but it got to the point where I just had to love her from across town.

Obviously you do not have control over the household, but you do have control over yourself and need to stand up for yourself. Do not worry about hurting their feelings since they clearly do not care about yours. You need to just shake hands and come out fighting. There is nothing easy about this walk at all.

Stay tough and spend as much time as you can fixing up that house. As soon as you have enough plumbing and electric to get an occupancy permit, move in. It doesn't matter whether you have interior walls and closets and new hardwood floors. The peace of mind will be worth it.

[vincereautmori 323]

I ve got and been getting info from here I did start googling like crazy before I had the surgery but I am have to go get a pass at it again. as for the people I live with its my husbands family (in-laws) we live with them because our house got burnt down a year ago we've been trying to get back on our feet since then but it's been hard we bought an old kinda broken down house and fixing it we're almost done I see light at the of the tunnel, as for food it's their house and I can't tell them don't bring junk food ect I do buy my own food and I have been good for the first 3 weeks ( actually scared to try anything new) but this week was horrible and I think it was emotional eating because I miss my own loving caring family. I have a follow up appointment jan 14 I'm ask to see a nutritionist. As for now I'm sit and talk with them and ask them to stop because it really is difficult and I don't think it's funny at all ( they say I took the easy way out ) EASY pffff as if. My husband is so supportive he knows his family are mean and defends me all the time but they don't care what you tell them they laugh it off and make fun of you.

In your original post you say, "I haven't done anything right", nonsense!, it sounds like you're hanging in there and you have a plan for getting out of your current situation. Great to know your husband supports you too! As for the inlaws, just keep fighting them off, easy way out? Not when you have someone there sabotaging your efforts, is there a reason they want you to fail? No matter, you can conquer their best efforts with a little encouragement from the peanut gallery here. This is about you and your health, you need to heal that hernia and get your body healthy. Keep up the GOOD work, this is going to be a better year for you.