Hey guys,

So I finally got my date! The 26th of January 2015 and I can't wait.

However, I'm in a huge dilemma, because I need to get off work for at least 4 weeks. The thing is, that the mindset in my workplace is that surgery is the "easy way out" and people "just need to stop eating and start running more". This pisses me off, and to be honest I don't really want them to know about me having the gastric sleeve. It's not any of their business. But my doctor definitely wants me to tell them that I'm having surgery of some sort - just so if something happens when I start work again, that they know it could be something to do with that.

Therefore, I want to lie about what surgery I'm having. That's where I need your help. What surgery could "look" a lot like the gastric sleeve? And what are the symptoms of that surgery?

I was thinking of hernia, because I read about other people saying that, but must admit I don't know that much about it.. What are the symptoms, is it in the stomach etc.

Please, there is no way of me telling them the truth, why I would appreciate if comments about just telling my boss as it is could be left out. Thanks a lot!

Best,
B

Ps. As you might have noticed English isn't my first language, so please feel free to tell me if there's something you didn't quite understand :-)

I had the same concern. I am an elementary school teacher, and I work with almost all women-who feel that they need to all know everyone else's business. I got sleeved 4 days before our two-week holiday break. I told my boss that I was having "stomach surgery". (No one talks to her about anything, so I have no concerns about her discussing that with anyone.) I told all of my colleagues that I was having "female issues" involving hemmorhaging. I have about 140 pounds to lose, so I don't think the loss will be noticeable that fast. By the time it is, I think people's memories will be short about the fact that I had surgery. Either way, I'm going with it being a New Year's resolution. I also didn't tell most people in my life, other than immediate family. "High protein/low carb diet" is my story-and I'm sticking to it!

Best of luck to you!

You're getting some great advice here, all different outlooks and ideas. My tactic was to only tell a few people (in confidence) about my surgery, and that was my choice. Now, 15 months later, a very small number of people are even aware. If some of them "suspect" or want to gossip about me, that's their issue. I'm too busy trying to get healthy to worry about them.

You're under no obligation to tell anyone, including your supervisor, as people have mentioned above. But, since the weight loss will be noticeable, the backstory is important. I made a huge deal for 6 to 8 weeks before surgery about my new diet/lifestyle and working with a nutritionist. It all worked out fine. And who knows, you may end up telling people by choice later on. Some will tell you not to lie, some will help you lie (if even just by omission), but this journey is yours - so you'll end up doing what's best for you!

By the way, my surgeon's office automatically writes patients out for 4 weeks after any WL surgery, so I had to plan as if I would be out a month. I ended up taking 2 weeks (had a lot of pain initially) then worked from home for a week. When I returned to work after those 3 weeks, I was 22 pounds lighter. It wasn't super noticeable, but some did ask and I just said that my new diet seemed to be paying off finally. Good luck!

Edited December 24, 201411 yr by Shells_Almost_There

You may not need a fully month off. I was back to work in a week and I was a little tired, but I made 12-16 hour desk job days that entire week. Everyone is right in that you don't have to tell them why you will be off- you can call it a medical issue or just surgery and no one can say anything or question further. That being said, lying is easier. My friend had her gallbladder removed and her scars looked a lot like mine. You can say that you'd like the full 4 weeks off because your doctor is concerned about potential complications because of your weight and then if you're able to go back sooner, you can. I am a proponent of lying when it serves you well with regard to this surgery. Three people know I had it done and it's been 15 months and as far as I'm concerned it will never be anyone else's business.

Good luck!

Whatever you choose to do, I WOULDN'T go with the gall bladder excuse - not if you still have yours, anyway. If you wind up needing it out later, you'll have to come up with another story.

I'd stick with an "I'm having a procedure" and, if pressed, that it's really something you're not comfortable talking about.

I told my boss that I was having a "sort of personal surgery" and he turned red and didn't ask anymore. Later he referred to it (to me) as a "the girl thing" so it's pretty fair to assume he thinks I am having an ovary removed or something. It was nice to just be vague and not have to lie.

But if pressed, I planned to say that it was hernia because a paraesophageal hernia is a stomach related issue which my surgeon said is common and can be fixed during laproscoptic surgery.

Good luck, bubsen!

I would say gallbladder surgery as it's similar in the way it's performed. Also you food choices tend to change with gallbladder surgery. And you can just reffer your weight loss to that. My doctor gave me 12 weeks off cause my job requires me to do a lot of hevy work. A week like some suggested is not nearly enough but i also had RNY not rhe sleeve

I agree with most others. Tell them it's personal, it's surgery and you don't care to talk about it. End of story. If someone presses you just kindly restate, "it's personal and I really appreciate that you will understand if I choose not to talk about it. ".then walk away.

Let them think what they want. As we say in my first language, "It's none of their bee's wax". Good luck. Be happy.

I just took seven days of vacation. No one knew I had surgery except for the people I wanted to know. I really could have gone back after about five days. You are not obligated to tell anyone at your job your private medical business. If anyone asks tell them as much. We spend too much time worried about what everyone else thinks of us and how others are going to judge us. How everyone else reacts to you taking time of is not your concern. No need to give the gossip mill any more fuel.

This might be helpful--current recommendations for hiatal hernias include surgery! http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/178393-treatment

Whatever you choose to do, I WOULDN'T go with the gall bladder excuse - not if you still have yours, anyway. If you wind up needing it out later, you'll have to come up with another story.

I'd stick with "I'm having a procedure" and, if pressed, that it's really something you're not comfortable talking about.

Thats a good point! Didn't even think about that.

On the safe side...hernia surgery is a better reason as it is similar to other abdominal surgeries but can be a recurring issue & therefore can be used again as a reason for future procedures. This, only if you feel you have to give details. When I had my hysterectomy I told my boss the details because a) boss is female, genuinely a good person and great leader/co-worker & c) boss lady, has an older-sister type air to her, gave me good support,tips, and advice since she had been through the same issues I went through. Cant get a better boss-lady than that! Love her! Just a great,caring, & understanding person and a down to earth with no time forbull$!tt, great friend. I've lucked out at work in that dept.LOL

BUT if you want to play safe, don't explain yourself. All you have to tell HR or its those who have HR duties that you need to have a medical procedure done and here's how it will effect my job. Let them figure out the rest. Maybe by watching you start changing to a healthier mind and body, you might start a fitness gang? I am going to try this after the new year. Best wishes. And congrats to you!i am so happy for you! And for everyone!

I have my surgery January 28th. I've already asked for 4 weeks off.

And told them it's bc of Bariatric surgery.

You are having a laproscopic sub-total gastrectomy.

Used to be a very common procedure for ulcers, also used for stomach cancer. Or - now - weight loss... but we call it a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. For FMLA, your job can not ask why you're having surgery - your surgeon is a 'general surgeon' and you are having surgery for a serious medical condition. That's it.

@@Stephie76

Me too - well, I asked for 4 days off.. ended up taking a week, but I told anyone who asked, "I'm getting a sleeve. Watch me shrink!"

Why four weeks? That seems too long. Some take longer to heal than others, but you may find that one week off is plenty.

The hernia idea sounds good.

Personally, I am now 2 weeks 3 days post surgery and I am REALLY glad I am taking four weeks before returning to work. Giving yourself the gift of the time to heal is a great way to start this journey!