Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I post about all kinds of things on this forum knowing that if I'm feeling them, or experiencing them, so are others. So..I don't feel that I can leave out the fact that I've begun dating again. Scary stuff...and especially as I'm right in the middle of body image issues, and this brings up rejection issues, and control issues for me. I feel like I'm walking in a field of landmines. Talk about being vulnerable...sheesh.

So last night, the fella I've been dating for a couple of months is coming to my apartment. My train is late and I get home and text him to find out if he's on his way. Turns out he's already waiting for me and comes up a couple of minutes later. I'm still in my work clothes..which happens to be a very handsome dress in a rust/coral color and he stares at me and says that I look fantastic in that dress and the only thing that would look better is if I was out of that dress..lol.

It's been such a long time since anyone has shown that kind of attention to me. I'm not a kid so no worries about being swept off my feet by a few choice words but it none the less, warmed my heart to know that someone wanted me again. Desired me again. I must be somewhat attractive for an older and somewhat wrinkly old broad.

I feel like I'm on a high today in the office. This was not on my radar. My WLS was to allow me to walk without pain and to get my mobility back. That was the plan. This romance stuff has been a really nice addition to the mix. Yes, I know putting myself out there is risky but right now I'm enjoying it and I hope to keep on enjoying it. If it's vanity, well so be it. I think I deserve a little vanity after all I've been through. I'm so happy to know that I don't have any surgeries coming up in 2015. That sentence alone tells you some of what I've been through.

So friends...back to my conference call. Break's over. Have a great rest of the day everyone!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

confidence is sexy.....and it shows (clothes or without)

you deserve every bit of happiness

Edited by ☠carolinagirl☠

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@gowalking@☠carolinagirl☠ I echo those comments LOUD and Proud!!! "confidence is sexy.....and it shows (clothes or without) you deserve every bit of happiness"

Life is meant to be enjoyed and Liz my NYC pal I am so happy to read about all the wonderful things that you are experiencing in life!!!

I think I have a contact high....Woooo hooooo!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had very much the same experience only sounds like mines moved a bit faster which was scary as hell! I went from this body dismorphic late 40s divorcee to the very obvious object of desire in what felt like a hot minute! It was a few weeks. We've really hit it off and I LIKE this one. Kinda scary to be in this vulnerable position where where we can get hurt huh? This is the second guy I've dated (out of probably 50 in the last 6 months, yeah, I was going for volume, heh) that I LIKE. The first one broke me a little. But I finally decided that I wasn't going to remain "shut down" for safety anymore. It's a good thing. Feel like a teenager again! Feel like I'm growing. It's easy to hide behind all that extra weight and use it to shut people out but look what we were missing! It's good to feel strong enough to take a risk!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Awesome post! I am married, however, I honestly don't think that matters in wanting to feel desired by your spouse AND others. If a cashier or gas station attendant or someone I pass in the street happens to look twice, or wink, or whatever -- that's the stuff that natural highs are made of, and I want 'em!!! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stella got her groove back!!! Ha! Good for you! You enjoy every bit of it I'm sure it's well deserved!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girlfriend!!! I am so with you on this! The first guy that I semi-seriously dated this summer kept telling me how hot I was. I just laughed. But it made me feel good. I hadn't been told that in so long! He did make me feel desirable and beautiful. And when he flaked out on me, I was tempted to shut down. But I realized that I wanted more of that feeling :) The guy I've been seeing for a few weeks now gives me that feeling. He smiles when he sees me. I smile when I see him...it's fun and exciting and terrifying all at the same time!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just love this thread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Even us wrinkly old broads appreciate a man with slow hands and an easy touch. Congratulations you sexy thing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love those moldy oldies from days gone by! ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Enjoy it all! You DO deserve every bit of happiness in any shape or form.

I post about all kinds of things on this forum knowing that if I'm feeling them, or experiencing them, so are others. So..I don't feel that I can leave out the fact that I've begun dating again. Scary stuff...and especially as I'm right in the middle of body image issues, and this brings up rejection issues, and control issues for me. I feel like I'm walking in a field of landmines. Talk about being vulnerable...sheesh.

So last night, the fella I've been dating for a couple of months is coming to my apartment. My train is late and I get home and text him to find out if he's on his way. Turns out he's already waiting for me and comes up a couple of minutes later. I'm still in my work clothes..which happens to be a very handsome dress in a rust/coral color and he stares at me and says that I look fantastic in that dress and the only thing that would look better is if I was out of that dress..lol.

It's been such a long time since anyone has shown that kind of attention to me. I'm not a kid so no worries about being swept off my feet by a few choice words but it none the less, warmed my heart to know that someone wanted me again. Desired me again. I must be somewhat attractive for an older and somewhat wrinkly old broad.

I feel like I'm on a high today in the office. This was not on my radar. My WLS was to allow me to walk without pain and to get my mobility back. That was the plan. This romance stuff has been a really nice addition to the mix. Yes, I know putting myself out there is risky but right now I'm enjoying it and I hope to keep on enjoying it. If it's vanity, well so be it. I think I deserve a little vanity after all I've been through. I'm so happy to know that I don't have any surgeries coming up in 2015. That sentence alone tells you some of what I've been through.

So friends...back to my conference call. Break's over. Have a great rest of the day everyone!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Miss Mac you naughty girl! Old wrinkly broads don't say such things! So you just gave yourself away. Obviously you are NOT an old wrinkly broad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@gowalking. Good for you. Hoping you'll have many more days where you'll be feeling like you are on a high.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't dated in so long, I don't even know how to meet anyone anymore. Any tips on THAT would be really helpful.

I put off dating to raise my kids, then I put off dating to finish college, then I put off dating to have & recover from a boatload of (non-elective) surgeries. I realized there's always something to put off dating for...

but now there's not really a good reason. I feel ready but have no clue how to meet a good, respectable man.

Clarification: I've had a lot of 1st dates, a couple 2nd & third along the way, but wasn't ready to date 'seriously'. I had a couple bad experiences dating after my marriage ended. Wanted to get to know ME well enough to be a good "I'm interested in him" picker.

So now I'm ready, but frozen, like a deer in headlights without a clue where to go

50 dates in a couple months? wow I wouldn't even know how people can 'connect' that many times to go on a date. Did they all ask you out? I like the man to do the asking but ... none have. I need to get out more, that's a good 1st step- but where? lol

And what's the get it started protocol these days?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×