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What are you telling people at home and at work?



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I only shared my decision with my husband and one good friend. I made them swear not to tell a soul. I felt pretty normal on my return. As I had "started dieting" labour day people have noticed but I don't expand on it. I am one month post surgery and hardest part is we do a lot of dining get togethers. We limited eating with others and when we do my husband chooses something I can nibble off of or I order Soup. Good luck.

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I didn't share because I didn't want the judgement or others opinions

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@VSGAnn2014......why shake your head?? Is it ok to lie about anything?? Why lie about it?? If someone asks you and you don't wanna tell them.........tell them it is none of their business........a person is under NO obligation to tell anything to anyone......but why lie?? I guess it about morales,values, and character. I was taught NOT to lie, regardless how big or little it was.

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@@Packerfan61964 this is all about supporting each other not judging each other. Instead of calling my morales, values, and character into question words of encouragement not discouragement would have been appreciated. I wish you well on your wls journey!

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So now it's a character issue.

S.M.H.

I don't see why others need to be so judgmental..

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@vsgcrystalg........I don't remember specifically mentioning YOUR name in a post....or CALLING YOU OUT!!!! I was merely stating MY opinion and MY thoughts about whether or not to tell the truth about whether you had WLS or not. I wasn't intending to TARGET you or anyone else for that matter. My point was simply WHY LIE ABOUT IT?? However, IF you so choose to take it that way....FINE!!! I am NOT one to judge you or anyone else on this website cuz I don't live in a glass house.

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For me it was easy. I work in a healthcare/educational setting. I told my immediate supervisors and departmental co workers. Everyone was very supportive. Thankfully i also have hoards of time off!

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Although this thread doesn't reflect it so much, having read hundreds and hundreds of posts about this topic on several WLS boards and forums, it seems to me that a disproportionate number of people who are obese / very overweight have set some very different personal boundaries about what are essentially private issues. In short, there is a strong sense among many WLS patients that they don't have the right to withhold information.

There's also considerable confusion (and misunderstanding) about what information WLS patients are obligated to tell employers about the nature of their surgeries or any medical conditions.

In my very personal opinion, unless you are being questioned by federal investigators or have sworn to tell the truth and nothing but the truth in a deposition, hearing or trial, you have no obligation to answer anyone's questions about anything. You have the right to ignore their questions, deflect their attention, or lie to them.

Of course, you may choose to tell anyone anything. But if you share information with others because you think you HAVE to satisfy their curiosity or you just feel guilty about being untransparent or they wormed it out of you, you are the kind of person who's liable to be easily manipulated in numerous circumstances.

Ugh! I love you! Lol

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No one in this world is perfect. You may not lie about WLS but you've got flaws. Check with the man in the mirror before you check another.

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I am ateacher as well. I did tell the people I worked with. They have been supportive. Several have even been considering it themselves. I did not tell my family. I felt they were going to be angry and not want me to get it. If they ask about my weight I am just going to tell them I am doing supervised medical weight loss.

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@vsgcrystalg. I don't see the reason for the judgement and references to moral character and childhood upbringing either. So I'm smh! I'm certainty not judging anyone for being an open book and singing their personal medical business from the mountain tops. DO YOU. As a matter of fact, I TRY on a daily basis, NOT to pass judgement on the decisions and choices people make. Because I'm not without flaws, I'm not always successful. But when I'm being judgemental I'm well aware of it. That's why it's so easy to discern judgemental behavior in someone's words, tone, looks or actions.

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I didn't tell anyone at work, I had my surgery in June. It's getting tough now, because everyone is so interested in how I'm losing weight , I work with mainly women. And they can be very catty. I feel bad about "lying". But I'm too far into it to now tell the truth. I didn't want people judging me, and I am a private person too. But it's snowballing now because I'm asked daily how I'm doing it. I just say I've cut my portions way back and I started excerise. -- which is true. ;)

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I didn't tell anyone at work, I had my surgery in June. It's getting tough now, because everyone is so interested in how I'm losing weight , I work with mainly women. And they can be very catty. I feel bad about "lying". But I'm too far into it to now tell the truth. I didn't want people judging me, and I am a private person too. But it's snowballing now because I'm asked daily how I'm doing it. I just say I've cut my portions way back and I started excerise. -- which is true. ;)

Stick to your guns! Your privacy is your prerogative! I support you.

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I'm the same way. I only to immediante family, my fiance, and bff cause she did it too. My co-workers I just told them I am have gallbladder surgery. Which isn't 100% lying, cause I am having it taken out at the same time as my sleeve. And if they ask why I am losing so much weight I will just say I changed my diet and have been working out really hard.

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As for my family, I've told them all exactly what's going on. They're all very supportive, though none of them live nearby.

For most everyone else, I'm not saying anything.

I am a graduate student so I both work and attend school. For that reason, I've had to be a little forthcoming. I just say I'm having surgery. Very few people have tried to pry me for information after I say that. It's rather nice. When they do pry, I say I'm having a surgery that will help combat my symptoms of PCOS, particularly my battle with losing weight. Most of the time, that stops the conversation. I think they 'get' it at that point. I'm not ashamed to have this surgery, but I am pretty private about my health (which is otherwise excellent, but still).

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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