I was foolish enough to think!?

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

When I lost all my weight I was foolish enough to think that I would finally be happy. I would be small and look like everyone else. My road has been torturous and painful and as I sit here and write this I am upset. I cannot do anything I wanted to do. I cannot go on long drives, or ride a horse. I got a bike and can't ride it either. My bed sore on my tailbone won't allow me to do anything like that. I feel so cheated right now.

My ass is always burning and sore and the plastic surgeon is only going to fix part of it for now. He thinks there is more sponge in there that has to be removed. I have cried so many tears over this surgery and what has become of me it is unreal.

Plastics are another issue that has just sent me into a blue zone I can't seem to kick.

I did this to make my life better and on Nov. 6th it will be two years of hell.

What were you foolish enough to think about WLS expectations? I had so many and now I have none.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

RJ I just want to send you a hug this morning. Your posts help me all the time. I am hoping you get relief.

[Pepper123 320]

Oh dear i feel for you...i have my own pity party over here...ill say a prayer for you and hope all gets better..virtual hugs to you!!!

[Jersrose43 837]

Oh RJ I just want to come and hug you. Your been through so much. I can't relate. I can understand. I know you will persevere through this and come out where you envisioned. It's just taking longer than it should

Hugs from New Jersey

[jessiquoi 623]

@RJ'S/beginning, i'm so sorry you've gone through everything you have had to deal with.

i've read your posts and have always been amazed at how positive you remain. you always have an uplifting word for others who are having post-surgery issues, and because they came from you, they were more meaningful than anyone who has had an easier road.

i hope your present state of mind is only temporary and you bounce back soon. attitude is everything, right? and yours has been an inspiration to many of us. you have every right to feel the way you feel right now. let it out and let it go.

hugs from Maryland!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I know it is momentary. But each time I sit down or move or do anything I get this burning sensation in my butt. It hurts more then you know. And relief is somewhere in the distance. It has been one struggle after another with me hoping and depending on the facts that eventually it would get better with the help of specialized surgeons. My hopes for that have been smashed to pieces.

I will keep going but it has been an extra long journey for me that has not been easy. One thing after another. I am not saying I would not take the surgery again because I would. It is that I hoped by now it would be easier!

You know so I could enjoy the things thin healthy people do!

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

Oh NO!,

I have been away for a few days. I'm so sorry you are having to endure more problems. Sending you a hug from South Texas.

I pray you will heal and find relief. You are such an inspiration to me.

Blessings,

Kathleen

[Comeflywithme 402]

So sorry to hear this.... I hope it all goes better from now on, sending hugs your way sweety....

[lisacaron 5,075]

@RJ'S/beginning I empathize with you. I have to be honest I went into the surgery with no expectations. It was a hope to feel better and an attempt to get healthy. I had so many digestive issues prior to the surgery that I have to say having surgery has helped with tremendously. There are other things it did not help with, and the journey continues for me. I have not lost all my weight I am not at goal, I am just working through it all. I have a had a few complications along the way and still hoping to keep my band after dilation last month.

I am just rolling with the punches as usual. Taking life one moment at a time and cherishing the good times and trying to find the silver linings in the not so good times. That's really all I can do. I learned at a very young age that life is short and precious and even if it's not all we think it should be it is all as it should be.

There are reasons we go through what we do, though in the moment I am hard pressed to find them myself. In hind sight I am able to see where the low times brought me to a new levels of confidence, or strength and knowledge that I did not have before. Sure I would rather just add Water and have it all in an instant but I have also learned through my years that the things you truly cherish and admire are not easily won.

Just like most foods, the ones that are prepared with love and cooked the longest are often the most savory and delicious things. The ones you just add Water to, are most often full of artifice that either doesn't' last or is just plain no good for us.

You have been through the mill, and perhaps your feeling more then a bit beat up but just like the pulp that turns into fine wine or delicious apple cider...your on your way to that next smooth phase of awesome!!

Sending you some {{{hugs}}} and extra bravado for being such an inspiration! Your allowed to feel blue, cry, scream throw things (always a favorite of mine!) just don't forget to paint yourself rainbow in there somewhere because you will make it beautiful!!

[James Marusek 5,244]

I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. If you haven't tried this yet, I recommend getting gel cushions to sit on or gel pads for your bed. They distribute the weight and reduce bed sores and the pain. Also the non-prescription ointment called Calmoseptine works well on healing bed sores. This ointment has worked exceptionally well on my mom's bedsores. You might not be able to find this at the average run-of-the-mill drug store but it will be available in drug stores the specialize in providing help for the elderly.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

@RJ'S/beginning I empathize with you. I have to be honest I went into the surgery with no expectations. It was a hope to feel better and an attempt to get healthy. I had so many digestive issues prior to the surgery that I have to say having surgery has helped with tremendously. There are other things it did not help with, and the journey continues for me. I have not lost all my weight I am not at goal, I am just working through it all. I have a had a few complications along the way and still hoping to keep my band after dilation last month.

I am just rolling with the punches as usual. Taking life one moment at a time and cherishing the good times and trying to find the silver linings in the not so good times. That's really all I can do. I learned at a very young age that life is short and precious and even if it's not all we think it should be it is all as it should be.

There are reasons we go through what we do, though in the moment I am hard pressed to find them myself. In hind sight I am able to see where the low times brought me to a new levels of confidence, or strength and knowledge that I did not have before. Sure I would rather just add Water and have it all in an instant but I have also learned through my years that the things you truly cherish and admire are not easily won.

Just like most foods, the ones that are prepared with love and cooked the longest are often the most savory and delicious things. The ones you just add Water to, are most often full of artifice that either doesn't' last or is just plain no good for us.

You have been through the mill, and perhaps your feeling more then a bit beat up but just like the pulp that turns into fine wine or delicious apple cider...your on your way to that next smooth phase of awesome!!

Sending you some {{{hugs}}} and extra bravado for being such an inspiration! Your allowed to feel blue, cry, scream throw things (always a favorite of mine!) just don't forget to paint yourself rainbow in there somewhere because you will make it beautiful!!

Thank you for your comments. I needed them today!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. If you haven't tried this yet, I recommend getting gel cushions to sit on or gel pads for your bed. They distribute the weight and reduce bed sores and the pain. Also the non-prescription ointment called Calmoseptine works well on healing bed sores. This ointment has worked exceptionally well on my mom's bedsores. You might not be able to find this at the average run-of-the-mill drug store but it will be available in drug stores the specialize in providing help for the elderly.

I have gel pads that I use in every sitting area. I also use this ointment. Thank you for your suggestions. Doing it all...

They are not sure they can fix it because of where it is. I need it repaired. But I am looking at a much later date or maybe never. That is what I can't deal with. It is like someone set fire to my arse every single day all day long! It is just really starting to suck. I love to travel by car. And that has been taken away from me for now or possibly forever. It is just so maddening to deal with yet another thing when in my head...I could see the light at the end of the tunnel for the complications. But for now..There is no light and it sucks! Really sucks!

[Babbs 14,680]

@RJ'S/beginning

There are a few of you on this forum that I "stalk" and love reading about your inspirational journeys. You are one of them. I always found your success and your great attitude through your many struggles inspirational, and honestly, it keeps me going. I have literally thought at times "Look at what RJ has gone through. If she can do it, so can I!" Aside from everything else you should be proud of, I just want you to know you are a huge inspiration to me and many others on this forum. As always, you WILL get through this! Hang in there!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

RJ, i am sorry you are going through this misery. I have a bad memory, so I don't recall why you are having such physical discomfort 2 years post op. Physical discomfort is such a hard thing to live with - i still have alot of body pain but it was much worse when i was obese.

I feel so blessed that I haven't really had any serious problems ... or minor ones frankly.

Here is what I will say. Even if we KNOW that losing weight wont make us happy, there is still an emotional journey. I KNEW my life would still be same ole, but what i didn't really think about was that I would have to deal with same ole without my food and obesity to "numb me". It was a rude awakening...

I am almost 3 years post op and feel like I am finally... becoming more "settled". I have been happy, since i feel so much better, but that emotional noise has quieted so much.

Here is the dirty little secret. Looking good/better is wonderful, but it doesn't make you happy. The unhappiest woman I ever met was a bombshell, with a charming personality.... think Marilyn Monroe... I think when you have always been obese you fantasize about some sort of "better place". It is partially true - I am happier because I live a better, more active life; but ... I still have to get up everyday and put one foot in front of the other...

[shellyd88 463]

Hey rj i sure am sorry to hear your having such an awful time I'm praying it all works out for u as soon as possible I see your posts often and agree with all that u are so inspirational and positive and yes u do have the right to be fed up with complications and mad as hell Anyway sending u hugs and good thoughts and thank u for being here a friend of mine likes this kabooti cushion sold on Amazon and contour living