I AM BAD....OPINIONS.

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Well for anyone that has a Red Lobster in their town knows that starting September they have endless shrimp.... Before my surgery which was 9.days ago my husband and I had several conversations regarding us going to places that I liked to eat at for a while until I can eat again. So tonight I said we have a gift card to Logan's if you want to use that up (because honestly I could take or leave Logan's). Now I want to also say that I have always been a picky ester, I don't like Mexican, Chinese, I have never eaten any type of fast food burgers etc, because I do no like food that is mixed. I don't eat soup.....chili or anything like that. However I do like Red Lobster. I know I am rambling but he decides we should go to Red lobster, I was a little taken back but I said well why don't you drop me off at the YMCA and I will walk and you can pick me back up because I think Sitting at Red Lobster is a bit too much for me right now. I really expected him to say well I will get Chinese or Mexican but NOPE, he said if you can't go then I will just call someone else to go with me. I was disheartened. And I made a comment that was probably not appropriate, I said "so if I can't go you will just replace me with someone who can. ". ugh I have been quite emotional since my surgery, this has been a difficult road. I have read in many places and even warned by my surgeon that sometimes this surgery causes issues in relationships. And I don't want that to happen. He hasn't said anything to me and I haven't been able to bring it up either, but I think we need to talk about it. OK RANT OVER!

[darby1430 28]

I feel that you may be a little hormonal haha....but good for you for not going!! I have to remember now that my family isn't dieting i am....and that what they eat is their choice not mine....but you will do great and it does stink that he asked someone else....but he isn't doing what you are....which im sure it makes you feel bad...it would me....but good luck to you and you will do great!!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I don't think you are bad. I do think you are understandably emotional and he was a bit insensitive, though. You will have to acclimate to the "normal people". He can't be expected to have to acclimate to you, someone who has been surgically altered.

It's early, but you are going to have to face "normal" eating situations, including your faves. Go, find something you can sip or eat, or just enjoy the company.

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Lol. I know right! Lol. What the heck my emotions are all over the place, was probably feeling sorry for myself.

[darby1430 28]

Im sure that's normal my surgery is on the 15th and im already having to remind myself that i am doing this but not everyone is

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

If I would have only had one cheddar bay bisquit in the past instead of four........I probably wouldn't be in this position.

[LumpySpacePrincess 594]

The first month or so can be an extremely emotional time. Be careful not to get it stuck in your head that you have problems in your relationship popping up, and instead remind yourself (and your spouse!) that your emotions will be all over the place for awhile.

I would wait to re-analyze your relationship until you are at least six months out and your hormones have stabilized a bit. A lot of people talk about relationships getting weaker after surgery, but I am here to tell you that many of us have relationships that have strengthened and improved. Its important to remember that eating is a social activity, and a great deal of our relationships surround it. Remind yourself of the other things that attracted you to your partner and start devoting your time to those activities together from early on to replace the social eating.

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Oh I love my husband more than ever. I know it was all ME! He usually is very supportive, I am just being over emotional, I know that! NOW I JUST HAVE TO ADMIT IT TO HIM. LOL. Thanks for the advice, I actually don't know what I would ever do without him. I am not usually so "all over the place with my emotions"

Edited September 4, 2014 by tbahm

[Blazzrr 37]

My partner totally panicked right after my surgery when I really could not go out to eat. I am here to tell you that it took only about 4 weeks until I was able to go again. I enjoy having some easy to eat things at a restaurant rather than at home. (Even Soup is better out) I get full quickly so other food around doesn't bother me. Tell your partner to just give it a little time. The hardest thing in the first few weeks is that we AND OUR PARTNERS cannot see that things aren't going to be that hard for very long. I think mine feels bad for panicking so early on and not realizing that we could go out again soon.

[SandyM 1,956]

Where as I agree that it wasn't him that had the surgery, I also believe that he could have been a lot more sensitive to the fact that he is going to your favorite restaurant without you. I say.....GET THE ROPE!!!

[marfar7 1,528]

When u said u were "bad" and then talked about all u can eat shrimp at Red Lobster, I assumed u went and ate alot of shrimp - 9 days out. OMG - that's what I was gunna say to u.

Good for u! ABout 2 weeks after my sleeve 13 mths ago, hubby and I went to Red Robin. I asked them to blend up clam chowder. They happily did. I was on full liquids for 4 weeks. So I could go there and eat....but not Red Lobster.

Congrats on ur decision! Keep up the hard work!

[finediva 979]

If I would have only had one cheddar bay bisquit in the past instead of four........I probably wouldn't be in this position.

ok,girl, honest who only eats one? My family would eat a couple of baskets AND take some home. I agree. If we were practicing restraint in the past we wouldn't be in this

position. But we now have our tool.

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

No no shrimp for me! I really don't even like shrimp. It's those darn bisquit that were my downfall. We will get it together. He can go sometime while I am at work. There are weeks he works opposite shifts than me....I would be at work and would be none the wiser.

[finediva 979]

Flour is the root of all evil. All I want is a tosted bagel and cream cheese for Breakfast. I actually had a dream I ate one and in the dream I was 10 pounds heavier the next day. So relieved when I woke up!

[ready2B 263]

I also thought you'd done the all-you-can-eat shrimp! I was horrified at the thought only 9 days out. Glad that wasn't the case.

I don't think you were "bad" at all. Just some frustration on both of your parts in getting used to a major change in your lives. I can see my husband pouting a bit because things don't stay the same for him once I have my surgery. Heck, the complaining he always did when I was on a diet! "Not chicken again!" Or "I want REAL food!". A small part (though not insignificant) in me gaining the weight back was because I was tired of him complaining. So this time I have talked with him a LOT about how I won't ever be able to eat the same again and that it WILL affect him. I won't be nearly as good of a "eating out buddy" as I am now, nor will I want to cook big meals for him all the time. He's okay with it (for now) because he really is worried about my health, but I imagine we will have similar spats to yours once reality sets in.