I am 10 days post-op. When I first started this whole WLS thing, my sister and nephew (who I live with) were both gonna diet along with me ... yadda, yadda; well, that fell through. When I started doing the pre-op diet I found it very difficult sitting with them at the table. She has changed nothing about the way she cooks (gravies, Pasta, bakes cakes, Cookies on her dresser, Breyer's in the freezer) and I am having a very hard time with this. I ended up moving to my room where I could eat in peace. I go to the kitchen 3 times a day to make my meals and that's it. Am I being a chicken? I start my pureed food Wednesday and it sure would be nice to eat with the family again. I know I am 100% committed to this (lost 45 lbs so far) but sure hate pushing my face in it. Hard enough as it is just smelling it. Any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated.

Do what you have to do at this point in time. If it is easier for you to eat away from the rest of your family for now

I suggest you do that. Unfortunately others mean well when they say they will change things to support us but it is difficult for people to change -- otherwise we wouldn't be where we are today

Do whatever you have to do to be successful! Good luck.

Summer

Honestly, you are going to have to suck it up and get over it. Harsh, but true. You chose to have surgery, she didn't. You chose to alter your body so that you can no longer physically consume what she can, she didn't.

Right now you are excited, nervous, hangry, hormonal, motivated, etc. Your body is changing and healing and flip flopping all over the place. What you are feeling is normal but you cannot realistically expect anyone to diet along with you or change their habits to make your road easier. It would be nice, but it's not going to happen.

This is your new reality. Get used to it. It does get easier and you will forget about all the hard parts in a few months. You'll be stronger and healthier for it, too.

I understand what you are going through. My dilemma is a bit different but with same results. Since I have not told anyone about my surgery I am finding it difficult to eat in front of my friends. I can eat very little and I know they are wondering what is the matter with me. Plus I live in a very close knit neighborhood where we all get together for Sunday barbecues, evening social events, etc. Someone is always dropping of desserts, etc. It is just what we do here. I think I may have no choice but to share my news with them so they understand that I am not being rude by not eating all their delicious dishes. :-(

You'd be surprised at how little people actually notice/care about how much you eat. I'm very social and have told very few people about my surgery. At 15 months out, I don't think I'll need to.

I am 10 days post-op. When I first started this whole WLS thing, my sister and nephew (who I live with) were both gonna diet along with me ... yadda, yadda; well, that fell through. When I started doing the pre-op diet I found it very difficult sitting with them at the table. She has changed nothing about the way she cooks (gravies, pasta, bakes cakes, cookies on her dresser, Breyer's in the freezer) and I am having a very hard time with this. I ended up moving to my room where I could eat in peace. I go to the kitchen 3 times a day to make my meals and that's it. Am I being a chicken? I start my pureed food Wednesday and it sure would be nice to eat with the family again. I know I am 100% committed to this (lost 45 lbs so far) but sure hate pushing my face in it. Hard enough as it is just smelling it. Any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated.

I have to cook for my family, the food smells wonderful and I crave to eat it, but I can't. I made the choice to change my lifestyle, they did not. It is difficult but you have to look at the big picture, look at what you have achieved so far. No one said it was going to be easy. I am 12 days post op and just getting into phase 2. I don't eat with my family, but not because I can't deal with it, it's I'm not hungry. I only sit at the table when I eat. It will eventually change. When I can eat normal food they eat what I cook or get their own. My husband is on board with this, as he would like to start eating healthier too. Please don't get discouraged, you have so much to look forward to. It is a process. What I have done is put all the goodie they like to eat in one cupboard, I don't even open that door. No reason too. I am lucky, they try not to eat the sweets in front of me, which I appreciate. Please don't give up, there is support here always.

Right now, you are getting used to the new program and if you have to eat else where to do it so be it. But you do have to learn to eat with others. It is awkward for sure. I remember everyone stopping their talking to watch me eat. I felt very freaked out. But soon they got used to it and now other then them trying to attack my leftovers I have no problem with it. Each day is a new day, handle what you can today and take on something else tomorrow.

You will get there like all the rest of us. This is just one of the many changes that are starting to hit you as you travel this road.

One thing at a time. One step at a time.....K

I doesn't bother me. Cooking for my husband is easy. He's a body builder and eats what I eat, only more of it. I go out to eat w/my friends and never have any problems finding something I can eat and enjoy. I still love to bake goodies but now I just give them away instead of eating them. Watching other people eat things I can't have anymore is not a problem either. I don't crave things anymore and could care less about all the foods I used to eat. I don't know how long that will last (I'm 15 months post RNY) but I enjoy the fact that I control what I eat and not the other day around. :-)

I'd neck punch anyone who stopped talking to watch me eat. How incredibly rude!

Peggy Jean, all of the above comments by these seasoned vets are true. Maybe LipstickLady did get right to the point, real fast. She keeps it real. That's what I love about this site, people don't sugar coat. I would want to know exactly how it is going to be. I know it's hard. I am the 'Palua Deen' of my family. Cook, bake, repeat. I am only 2 months out and I went right back to cooking for the family right away. I know I am lucky. Nothing but nothing bothers me. I can eat along side any other food out there. Just work on putting yourself in this state of mind. As in social situations, most everyone already knows about the surgery, so I like to say, "I'd love to eat that...but pouch says NO." OR If need be, I say, "You eat what you eat' I eat what I eat." Good luck, darlin'

Right now, you are getting used to the new program and if you have to eat else where to do it so be it. But you do have to learn to eat with others. It is awkward for sure. I remember everyone stopping their talking to watch me eat. I felt very freaked out. But soon they got used to it and now other then them trying to attack my leftovers I have no problem with it. Each day is a new day, handle what you can today and take on something else tomorrow. You will get there like all the rest of us. This is just one of the many changes that are starting to hit you as you travel this road. One thing at a time. One step at a time.....K

RJ, your comment about the leftovers made me smile. My husband and daughter are complaining cuz they are going to gain weight due to eating my leftovers. Ha! I have no problem eating very little in front of them because they know and understand my new dietary requirements. But those that do not know about my surgery, well... That is another thing. But for now I just tell them I am cutting back on my portions. I had one gal say " yeah, way back! ". So yes, they are noticing. Just not sure I am ready to tell them the truth. May actually be easier for me to tell them and let the "true friends" rise to the top.

RJ, your comment about the leftovers made me smile. My husband and daughter are complaining cuz they are going to gain weight due to eating my leftovers. Ha! I have no problem eating very little in front of them because they know and understand my new dietary requirements. But those that do not know about my surgery, well... That is another thing. But for now I just tell them I am cutting back on my portions. I had one gal say " yeah, way back! ". So yes, they are noticing. Just not sure I am ready to tell them the truth. May actually be easier for me to tell them and let the "true friends" rise to the top.

My hubby who has never ever in his life had to worry about one thing he ate. Could not gain weight for the life of him. Miss a meal and lose 10 lbs. kinda guy.

The other day he called me into the bedroom and told me his belt shrunk. I said, 'honey leather belts don't shrink.' And he said,' this one did and also my pants. Your washing them in hot Water aren't you?' I said, 'no, your eating everything on your plate and almost mine as well.' In which he replied, 'I never have to worry about what I eat. Look at me.' I said, yup I'm looking at your expanding waist!' LOL

My hubby who has never ever in his life had to worry about one thing he ate. Could not gain weight for the life of him. Miss a meal and lose 10 lbs. kinda guy. The other day he called me into the bedroom and told me his belt shrunk. I said, 'honey leather belts don't shrink.' And he said,' this one did and also my pants. Your washing them in hot water aren't you?' I said, 'no, your eating everything on your plate and almost mine as well.' In which he replied, 'I never have to worry about what I eat. Look at me.' I said, yup I'm looking at your expanding waist!' LOL

Ha. Yes! My husband said he can certainly relate to your story.

PeggyJean, as someone above said " you had the surgery, they did'nt." With time you will probably be able to eat most of what others eat, but for now eat in your room if its too hard to sit with others. Remember, this is temporary, not forever. Every stage is a new adjustment, but ohhhhh the payoff is soooo worth it ! I was banded 2 weeks before Christmas, so imagine eating only soup etc during the holidays !!! I was surrounded by good food , but other than a soft cookie or 2 , I stuck to the rules because I knew the weight would come off and it did ! By end of Feb I was down 19 lbs and my pants were falling off ! So choose what you really want and you'll see results soon ! Good luck !!

PeggyJean, as someone above said " you had the surgery, they did'nt." With time you will probably be able to eat most of what others eat, but for now eat in your room if its too hard to sit with others. Remember, this is temporary, not forever. Every stage is a new adjustment, but ohhhhh the payoff is soooo worth it ! I was banded 2 weeks before Christmas, so imagine eating only soup etc during the holidays !!! I was surrounded by good food , but other than a soft cookie or 2 , I stuck to the rules because I knew the weight would come off and it did ! By end of Feb I was down 19 lbs and my pants were falling off ! So choose what you really want and you'll see results soon ! Good luck !!

Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart for your suggestions and the quick kick in the pants. Everyone is right ... I made the commitment, not them. This was my choice, not theirs. Beginning today I will eat with my family at dinner and enjoy myself. I've missed talking with them at the table. I seem to be in a mind-set of seeing all the things that I can't have (which get me here) instead of seeing all the things on the horizon ... shopping in regular stores, being able to climb stairs, have stamina, not feel like everyone is watching me and laughing. I want to fly a kite! I want to do a 5k with my son. I WANT TO FEEL GOOD!!!

Needed this to readjust my outlook. I was looking back instead of forward. Shame on me!

I have this mental picture in my head of a Roman-looking soldier holding a banner (always loved those short skirts ) with the Bariatric Pal symbol and singing, "Onward weigh-loss soldiers, marching on to war..." This is a war, against old habits, old mental and emotional reasons that caused us the make the choices we did.

Also, thank you for reminding me that the glass is half-full...

You guys are awesome!!