Serious support needed. I don't know how to be anything but fat.

[Cassiopeia 9]

Hi. Jumping right in.

Started journey in April, looking at a surgery date in October. Passed all medical etc, surgeon and team are all supportive and say even though I've only lost 5 pounds on my own, I am going to be cleared for surgery ASAP I go through with the 3 weeks of support group required in september.

starting weight 307, current 300+/- 2 lbs.

I dont know how to shop for a woman who isn't obese. I don't know how to dress myself. buy bras. I don't know how to eat for a normal sized person. normal or healthy? I don't know. I went for a two mile hike today and stayed on plan for the first time in weeks. I should be proud to really be committing to this, to taking it a day at a time, but when i think of the results all i think is that i wont be "me" any more. i've always been the big girl. there were a few years i was really ok with that, until this past year when i gained 25 pounds and got over 300.

now i feel lost. only a few people know about this, my two best friends and my husband. im not close with any of my family. both of my friends are 115 pounds soaking wet. nobody in my life understands that yes i want to be healthier, yes i want a normal life... but i dont know how to live that way and feel that way and im kind of scared.

does anyone else know what i am talking about?

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Every singles person on this site understands where you are coming from We all had and have the same fears as you. But if you don't look at the journey as a whole and see it one step at a time. One inch at a time. One lb at a time it will be easier for you. Everyone here is biting at the bit to aide you in the things you are not sure of and will be thereto support you. There are lots of threads on here about different aspects of the journey you can gleam to learn more.

Enjoy the new decision you have made for yourself. There will be a whole slew of things that will bring you joy and more that will worry you. But as the weight starts to come off you will really start to enjoy the new you emerging. Keep writing down your thought and all The non scale victories as well. It just keeps getting better and better and you unfold into a new healthier and happier you!

[Cassiopeia 9]

thank you for your reply. i really need to hear that. i know this is what i want and this is what i need. its just so hard to think of my life being 150% different and my body being 50% smaller.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Cassiopeia,

My situation is different from yours. I've yo-yo dieted a lot, so I've been up and down -- both normal-sized and obese.

When I've been normal-sized, I've just felt normal. In other words, it wasn't hard. Of course, I don't know what being normal will be like for you or how soon you'll adapt to it (in your own way, of course).

Perhaps you could try approaching this as an adventure. (I hope you like adventures. )

By the way, I can't help but notice your choice of nickname here -- "Cassiopeia." You don't seem like a "vain queen," as Cassiopeia was. I am wondering ... do you think of normal-sized people as Cassiopeias? If not, I'd love to know how you came to choose the nick?

Thanks.

[Cupcake 801]

Hi I totally agree with your statement because you are yes to brung you and seeing you, I am almost 3 months post opt and I can tell you although it's strange and seems foreign you got this, I focus on one day at a time, I have my coworkers calling me skinny lady at work but I look in the mirror and see the same me . The changing point for me is when I did a comparison photo I could not believe the changes everyone else was seeing until I recognize the person in the photo was me. I have started a la fitness class and I am now doing aqua aerobics twice a week and I am even wearing a swimsuit. Which I would have never done. I am learning to take baby steps since this is all new to me but I can tell you I would do the surgery all over again, I find myself smiling more , being more active, and feeling good about myself as a person. In regards to clothes believe it it not I go to the Salvation Army and try on different clothes because it is cost effective and I don't have to spend a lot of money for clothes that I am growing out of. . This forum has been my lifeline we all know what we are all going through you are among friends . Welcome and congrats on being healthy my friend . Keep us posted and feel free to add me as a friend we are all here for one another .

[JerzyTomato74 91]

I know exactly what you mean. I wasn't always obese but I was always bigger than other girls my age in school so I never felt thin. I was 189 on my wedding day in 2001 and I blame DH for all the weight I've gained (jokingly, of course). I got comfortable and let myself go and now I'm half way to 400 lbs. I'm mortified that I let myself get that far and I don't know if I'm going to know how to act when I get back down there.

BTW, I will also be an October sleever! Would love to stay in touch!

[jodyjetson 72]

Hi I was sleeved in May. I'm down 54 pounds since then. I can tell you that you will feel more like you as the weight comes off. I actually don't "feel" much different and I thought I felt happy 54 pound ago but honestly it's so nice to put clothes on and they are falling off. I have now given away all my old clothes. Also I tried not to buy anything until I could wear a 20 and I started at a 24/26. It's wonderful to get full and feel satisfied of small portions! It's wonderful knowing you can go on amusement rides or airplanes with ease. You've got this! Join us on the looser bench - we are here to cheer you on. It will be much easier than you think with the right choices and a great attitude!

[JanetPRN 496]

I was the "fluffy" friend in my group. I will tell you that this surgery puts you on a crazy roller coaster ride. The first time I moved to the regular size clothes side of the department store, I was pretty freaked out, I will admit. I felt like I was trespassing. If you follow your program instructions you will succeed and learn something new about yourself ( and others, at times) each day.

[cassie_vsg 26]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm going through the same feelings right now. My surgery isn't until February but just thinking about after has me freaking out. As excited as I am to FINALLY be able to lose this weight and start my new life, I'm equally as terrified. I talked to a friend of mine and he said the same thing as every one else has said. Just take it one day at a time. I will say I am so thankful I found this site. Being to get on here and read about everyone else's struggles and successes makes this whole journey so much easier. I know I'm not alone out there and I know that only good things are coming after this surgery. Good luck with your surgery!!

[Cassiopeia 9]

i chose my nickname because i like astronomy

thanks for all the support

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I dont know how to shop for a woman who isn't obese. I don't know how to dress myself. buy bras. I don't know how to eat for a normal sized person. normal or healthy? I don't know. I went for a two mile hike today and stayed on plan for the first time in weeks. I should be proud to really be committing to this, to taking it a day at a time, but when i think of the results all i think is that i wont be "me" any more. i've always been the big girl. there were a few years i was really ok with that, until this past year when i gained 25 pounds and got over 300.

now i feel lost. only a few people know about this, my two best friends and my husband. im not close with any of my family. both of my friends are 115 pounds soaking wet. nobody in my life understands that yes i want to be healthier, yes i want a normal life... but i dont know how to live that way and feel that way and im kind of scared.

does anyone else know what i am talking about?

You are in for a whirlwind of fun and excitement, I'm sure. It's so much fun to figure out that your personal style is so much more than "whatever fits, conceals my size, and comes in several colors". The choices are overwhelming at first but it won't take you long to dive in to the fun of shopping. I love consignment shops as there is such a huge variety of choices and the savings are great as you change sizes pretty quickly.

It's just as fun to figure out all the cool things your body can do. Walk up steps without breathing hard? CHECK! Go to the park with the kids without coming home exhausted? CHECK! Walk the dog without sweating profusely? CHECK! Do your first mud run with your kids? CHECKITY CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!

Your normal is not my normal or anyone else's normal. You will find your own normal as your weight decreases and your body shrinks. You will fall in love with activities you never thought you could do, stores you never thought you could shop in and compliments you never thought you would hear again. It's am amazing journey, one I am still experiencing every day as I reclaim my life.