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So mad at myself

snowkitten

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snowkitten    371

snowkitten
Posted

I have my surgery date set (Aug 25th) so my journey will begin soon, but as i look at everyones weight loss success i cant help being mad at myself for getting to this size. I hovered around 270's for YEARS. I thought that was huge and then in the last 2 years i shot up to 360. I cant believe i let myself gain that much, I always thought it would be impossible to lose 100+lbs so i got fed up with dieting and feeling guilty for every bite i took and let myself indulge. 5lbs turned into 10lbs which quickly turned into 100lbs! Now i have 200+ lbs to lose and id give anything to only have to lose 100lbs!! I am so mad at myself for that. Sorry for the rant, but i had to get that off my chest. Now hopefully I can forgive myself and move on.

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chrisrn    11

chrisrn
Posted

I hear you! But this step is taking you to a new level- you are taking control of your life and moving forward!!! New beginnings!!!! I was sleeved 7/16/14 saw my md today and lost 15 lbs since surgery. Exciting time in my life and yours , gotta move forward let the past go!! :)

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snowkitten    371

snowkitten
Posted

I hear you! But this step is taking you to a new level- you are taking control of your life and moving forward!!! New beginnings!!!! I was sleeved 7/16/14 saw my md today and lost 15 lbs since surgery. Exciting time in my life and yours , gotta move forward let the past go!! :)

Yes that's exactly what I'm hoping to do. Congrats on your loss! That's awesome

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ready2getgoing    41

ready2getgoing
Posted (edited)

Don't beat yourself up - what's in the past is in the past and you cannot change it - focusing on that you did or could have done wont change anything.

You are moving in the right direction now and that's what matters.

Look ahead to your surgery, getting prepared and focus on dong the right things moving forward to get to your goals.

Edited by ready2getgoing
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Comeflywithme    402

Comeflywithme
Posted

Don't look back, it's behind you. Look forward -- with lots of excitement! I felt the same but took the right road -- the WLS road almost 3 months ago and couldn't be happier, don't remember feeling this "healthy, light and happy" ever!! And I've only lost 1/2 of my weight so far. Life is giving you this second chance at "making it right" so don't dwell on the past, just focus on your beautiful, happy and healthy, low weight future. Good Luck! Stay positive!!! It's all worth it!

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mom2bubsnboo    2

mom2bubsnboo
Posted

you are doing what is best....only you can control it now..........don't beat yourself over the past.. pick up and move forward.. tomorrow is a new day.... look at it as YOU being in control now.........that is how I am going to look at it when I get mine done.... I only have myself to blame if I don't stick to it...........you CAN do it.........

I feel your pain. I have never been this heavy (245) either. Not during either of my pregnancies.... so instead I am choosing to do the surgery and making myself accountable for it after it's done...........don't be mad at yourself... find the positive and make the change..............here to help you! have a great day!

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snowkitten    371

snowkitten
Posted

You all are very right. Thank you for all the positive thoughts and encouragement. I will make the most of my new lease on life.

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elfnow    277

elfnow
Posted

I started at 392, hon. And I haven't been below 259.5 since I was 18 (I'm almost 36, so HALF MY LIFE).....

I also didn't think I'd get "too far over 300" but didn't have a scale, got pregnant, ate All The Pie.... And there you have it. I could barely waddle, had a hard time wiping my own butt (wouldn't admit that except to anonymous strangers, hah)

I nudged a few pounds off between Thanksgiving and Christmas 2013, and my surgery got scheduled for 2/10/14 with a pre-surgery check in on 1/27 (also the day I started my liver reduction diet).... On 1/27 I weighed 375. I was fitting into a size 28, kind of.

On 2/10 I weighed 355 (20 lbs in two weeks, but 1000 cals a day will do that).....

It's been exactly 6 months since I started the liver reduction diet ... And not every day has been perfect of course, there are plateaus and drops and more plateaus....

But today I weigh 257. That's 118 lbs in 6 months. My size-20 jeans are getting loose. I bought myself two very glamorous dresses in size 14-16 and they fit delightfully. I have gone from 3x t-shirts to XL or L. And still going.

I have 87 pounds to go.

My thighs sag like a shar-pei puppy now and you know what? I freakin flaunt it. My belly sags and if I lean forward and tighten my abs, my belly creases from top to bottom. Weird. My lower belly looks like a butt. And I have promised myself a bikini at 250.... Not a "flattering two-piece suit" no a freaking bikini because I have earned it. :)

You can do this.... Surgery will HELP.... And you can step into a more aware, more mindful way of eating. Because now it matters!!! Now you are stepping into being SOMEONE, not hiding behind food anymore..... and you will LOVE the changes that happen in your body.

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Go To Topic Listing Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums

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      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
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    • Aunty Mamo

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    • BeanitoDiego

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      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
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      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
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    • BeanitoDiego

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    • ChunkCat

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      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
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