Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

No sex drive



Recommended Posts

My husband is 9 weeks out of surgery, and he has zero sex drive. Anyone else dealt with that? I know this is the guys room, but it is a guys question?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Give it a few months (sorry boys, I know I'm female, but I think it's dually relevant)..

Hang in there, baby-girl. Give him till the full foods get in and he's more at ease with what he's eating/drinking...and it will ALL IMPROVE! Promise you ;) x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol.. im sorry but I found this funny. A woman giving other woman advise bout guys. Im sorry dont mean to offend but.... yeah.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol.. im sorry but I found this funny. A woman giving other woman advise bout guys. Im sorry dont mean to offend but.... yeah.

Then hop in there and help me out! No one else did except her!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah! So ner ner ne ner ner :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You really didn't give any details from which to form a hypothesis. Are there other complications like pain or general lethargy? What happens when you try to initiate sex? Does he refuse you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was just gonna let someone with experience coach. Not sure how much help I can be im 28 never really experienced low sex drive. Even at 370 I was still very driven. Now 70lbs lighter its even worse my girl can not keep up at all.

I will share what I have notticed bout libido. When u go a long time without using your member you will loose libido. trying to get him off every every once in a while will raise it. I know the more I use it the more I want it. Also check his diet if hes slowly goin back to high fatty foods, steaks or pork. It shocks the body from what ive notticed since it takes so long to process. Also slows down weightloss.

Im not a nutritionist just things I have notticed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You really didn't give any details from which to form a hypothesis. Are there other complications like pain or general lethargy? What happens when you try to initiate sex? Does he refuse you?

He has no pain, no lethargy. He's lost 60#. He feels much better, but he said he just hasn't felt like having sex. I don't initiate it, but there has been a few times we have talked about it. He just says he hasn't wanted sex at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was just gonna let someone with experience coach. Not sure how much help I can be im 28 never really experienced low sex drive. Even at 370 I was still very driven. Now 70lbs lighter its even worse my girl can not keep up at all. I will share what I have notticed bout libido. When u go a long time without using your member you will loose libido. trying to get him off every every once in a while will raise it. I know the more I use it the more I want it. Also check his diet if hes slowly goin back to high fatty foods, steaks or pork. It shocks the body from what ive notticed since it takes so long to process. Also slows down weightloss. Im not a nutritionist just things I have notticed.

He has never done this either. Even at his largest, our sex life was still great. I'll look into the diet, he is at work most of the time, but I will bring it up to him. Thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im just gonna add from my personal experience. Nothing comes of sexy like a woman in control. My advise is you need to take initiative. Best time would be in the morning when u know hes had a great night sleep n fully relaxed. Dont ask dont tell just do. Wake him up with a lil naughty. (Youll know hes fully relaxed. Morning wood). ; )

Night time... same thing, surprise him dont give him a chance to think. "Man handle" him if you will. Something sexy something different break away from anatomy.

Ill like to point out im the farthest thing away from a masochists. But it works.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only thing I can think of that could in any way be associated with the sleeve having any effect on sex drive, would be energy level. The whole surgery, low calorie and exercise combination can have a real impact on energy levels. Could be he's just tired or weak.

Other than that, you might be barking up the wrong tree. It might be something more deep seated, related to your relationship that no one on here would realistically be able to offer any insight. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would suggest you have him get his hormone levels checked - he could be experiencing some issues associated with them being off balance due to the rapid weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Testosterone levels could be an issue but I would definitely try to initiate things. One bad part of being overweight is the difficulty in having sex. He may still be in that mindset. Once he sees how much better things are now he doesnt have to work with all that extra weight it may peak his interest a bit more.

So initiate things for awhile. Makes the first moves. If it is a issue in his head, seeing that his new look is getting you excited may change things. Now if he flat out refuses, then it could be something else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a simular issue. Since surgery I've had sex as if it was a chore like taking the trash out. Way less frequent than before.

Hoping it goes away...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It could be energy. It could be something unrelated to surgery. I am 5 weeks out and have not had a loss in sex drive. In fact, mine has increased. I get harder and it seems bigger than before and I seem to recover more quickly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×