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Thank you Ginger Snaps and Pink Dahlia for your insights. You are both so "right on".

Ginger Snaps, I am also in a dead end relationship with my husband. Unfortunately, a big part of my depression is that for financial reasons, I cannot get a divorce or even live apart. We are both retired and there just isn't enough income to support two households. It just can't work. So, I'm trying to figure out how to live separately - together. This is a big challenge.

Pink Dahlia, I like your analogy. I'm definitely permanently stuck in week two! Most of the time I don't even leave the house. It feels like a cage and even though the door is open, I can't seem to walk out of it.

I'm working on it, though, and although it is really bad sometimes, it isn't as bad as it used to be. I just don't want to make a mistake with this surgery and find myself in a worse depressive state. That is my dilemma.

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I've had depression most of my adult life. Yep, I'm quite sure it had something to do with my weight being as high as it was. I have stuck with my therapist pre and post surgery, and she has been invaluable in helping me get a handle on my depression, to the point where I am currently weaning off my anti-depressants. A year ago, when my doctor said that they were meant to be a temporary measure, I laughed at him. I had been on anti-depressants before and there was nothing temporary about them (I lost my insurance and couldn't afford them for a while, but went right back on when I got new, better insurance. Which is also when I started my bariatric journey)

I found that between the therapy and losing weight, I can be a lot more pro-active in combating my depressive episodes. I can take a walk or get some exercise to boost my endorphins. But I never would have gotten to this point without a good therapist and the positive mental changes that have accompanied losing weight. I don't mean to give the impression that it's all sunshine and roses post-surgery...but I'm able to deal with my depression a lot better now.

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I also have been depressed most of my life. I agree that sometimes, it is self-hate turned inward, but not always. I am depressed a lot due to physical and emotional abuse when I was young. It does change you and is difficult to turn around. You *learn* to feel that you are insignificant, and what you think and feel doesn't matter, so what is really important can be bottled up. My therapist said that, to get to the root cause, you have to say what is on your mind instead of keeping it in.

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Loosingsoon, im sorry things are'nt going so well at home. I know this must be a rough time for you. Hope you can figure out how to live seperatly, "together ". As far as the WLS itself, I have no idea why the surgery itself would make depression any worse. Hopefully the healthier diet and exercise will certainly improve your mood , and the weight loss improve your self esteem and help you focus on YOU, and your healthier body, and your wants and needs . YOU are important too !!! You can do this ! Remember, slow progress is better than no progress !!! Sending you hugs !!

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