I'm not sure if this is the best place to post this question, but here it is.

I have suffered from depression all my life. I'm sure that has contributed greatly to my weight gain over time. Although I have my depression under control a good share of the time, I still suffer from depressive bouts that immobilize me. I am entering this WLS process without any support, although I am married. My husband is pretty much oblivious of me and my needs. He lives in his own world. I have a difficult time making friends so I don't have a support system there. So, I'm on my own. I am worried that I will fail because of my depression. I have been on several medications over time and have not had any success with them.

My questions, how many of you suffer from depression and how do you or will you plan to handle it and succeed with WLS?

I too suffer from depression, I have for most of my adult life. I finally sought out medical help when I reached my rock bottom. Then it took several years to find the right meds and doses that benefit me most. My suggestion to you is to seek professional help. There is no reason to suffer. Find a psychiatrist (they can write prescriptions) and tell them your feelings. Please get help. We all here for you and can help support you during your weight loss surgery and beyond. I plan on continuing to take my medication before, during and after my WLS. I wouldn't be caught without it. It's been a life saver for me and I mean that literally. There is help out there. Don't give up. You can have a better life.

Yep, I suffer from it too.

It is a vicious circle depression and weight gain. Not sure who you get your scripts from but a real pyschiatrist is a must as GP are not for mental health. Also I suggest a counselor to talk to because you need that to help with why you eat and what to do to get it and keep it stopped on a mental level.

Don't leave this problem hanging, the band can only help with the hunger not the monsoon of other problems we suffer from.

Divide (problems) and conquer!

Although husbands are great it is common to suck at understanding this issue. Find help today, call and get a referral or whatever you need. I know that is a lot to do when your depressed so ask a family member or a close friend for help.

Hugs,

Colleen

First off, you aren't completely alone...you have us now! Second, I think everyone with weight problems suffers from at least a little bit of depression if not a lot of depression. I second the other posters, you need to get professional help first. I know it can be really hard to admit you have a problem that needs help but it's the first step to becoming healthy. There are also tons of support groups for WLS and you will be surprised to find that there are lots of people in your boat. It helps so much to find people you can count on to support you because you are not in this alone, we have all struggled. It might take some time to get to the right medication that will help you and it's very important to find a good therapist that you can really open up and talk to. The sleeve is a tool in your weight loss journey but you have to be mentally and physically prepared because this is not an easy road. You will have cravings and the hunger in your head is much worse than the hunger you feel in your tummy, it's worth all of the hard work in the end though I promise! Once you feel that you are ready to stand up to your weight and kick it's butt then we will be here supporting you the whole way whether you need Protein suggestions or a shoulder to cry on or hopefully people to tell you how awesome you look when you start losing! You definitely came to the right place, we are all a big WLS family and we will back you the whole way!

My suggestion is to get the depression to the point where you feel it's managed enough to take this on, it's not a race and you have plenty of time. You have to be confident in yourself which can take time, it took me a whole year after I started therapy to get to the place that I'm at now. These are all steps in the long process to get you healthy again! If you have any specific questions feel free to ask any of us and remember; you got this girl!

Hi there, hope you're doing well. I don't know what to tell you about your long time of depression. Mine came on in my mid 30's after a a very sad , difficult personal issue. Im usually a very upbeat, outgoing happy person, but depression kicked. my. rear ! Its horrible to be sad, depressed and angry 24/7, add the slowing down metabolism and weight gain, and sleep problems! Well as you know, its NOT pretty... A friend reccommended a product called Plus, from Mannatech. (google Mannatech for more info) I started pounding down Plus 4 pills , 3x a day. 12 days later it was like someone lifted a layer of sadness off of me ! I got better and better, stayed on it = depression gone. Both my husband and I take several Mannatech products daily, what a difference ! ( He' s diabetic, no weight probs). (I am NOT a Dr. so discuss with your Dr before taking taking anything ) Hope this helps, I wish you well ! Keep us posted !

Okay dear this is my understanding of depression. Depression is anger turned inward. Listen to your self talk and begin to analyze it. My guess is you have a pattern of saying self-hatred statements to yourself. Begin to take these statements and debate them. The mean self-statements are not true. Really start paying attention to your self talk. Our self talk is usually meaner then anything another person would say to us. I know it is hard when you are heavy but get out and walk. It clears the head, makes us feel more confident and stimulates positive thoughts. I have suffered from severe depression all of my adult life. It took years of trying different medications until I finally found one, Cymbalta, that works. My depression was very treatment resistant but I never gave up hope I would find the right combination of meds and a therapist to help me. We are all here to support and help you so keep reaching out to us. I will be there for you. I don't know how to get you my phone number without making it public but I can talk to you on the phone if you need that kind of support.

I have also struggled with depression since I was a teenager (48 now). For the past 8 years I have been treated with medication and it did take a while to find the cocktail that worked, but we did. Getting out of the funk of depression made me realize what a bad marriage I was in and I finally felt the self-worth and sense of "I'm better than this" to get out. It also spurred me to have this surgery. Now that I feel happier, I wanted my body to cooperate and be healthy.

The surgery is totally doable even with little support in person -- this board is a wonderful place to get support and help for every question you can come up with. Your surgeon and nutritionist are also 2 very important people. My NUT is great and she helps me out a lot. I also have one very close friend who wasn't very excited about me having the surgery, but once she saw my determination to do it, she fell in line and supported me just for my sake -- whether she agreed it was the best choice or not. So, maybe you can find someone similar who says they will support YOU -- by helping you with the surgery.

Best wishes and keep coming here and you'll feel surrounded by support.

Thank you everyone for your comments and support. I have been to many therapists over the years and been on various antidepressants. I have not found a combination that works long term. I keep working on it and, as I stated in my initial post, I can manage most of the time. Depression runs in my family and it is a life long battle. I will be looking, again, for a therapist. I want to find someone who specializes in weight loss. I'm going to ask the psychologist on Friday when I have my psych eval if he knows of anyone in the area. I'm hoping that will be a good direction to go.

Bulawookie, I know we have both dealt with depression, and while I support you, I have to respectfuly disagree with your statement " depression is anger turned inward. " Depression has nothing to do about anger, it has to do with a body that became sick and couldnt get well by itself. Thats why sometimes you can't "snap out of it ! " You need medical help , meds or a therapist, etc. Or, in my case , something a little different, but boy did it work !!! And yes, exercise and a healthy diet can help some, but it does' nt cure everthing, and its hard because when you're depressed all you want is comfort food , mostly carbs because they have the most seratonin in them . ( seratonin = happy ) Depressed people are lacking in seratonin, so they crave carbs = weight gain = frustation = vicious cycle.

losingsoon...I too suffer from depression and am pretty much in the same boat as you are with the husband. I went off my meds once I had lost my first 30 lbs, and am trying really hard to stay positive and I contribute that to those on this website...they have helped me thru a lot the ups and the downs of things with Lap-band. So sweet lady we will be here for ya okay!!! Go for it...I did!!!

*raises hand* Me too! I have for most of my life. Went on meds, which helped a bit. Finally started therapy, helped a bit more. Had WLS, good at first, then not so good (mentally speaking). Went back to therapy, really good. Now starting over with my weight loss.

Sometimes you have to go little by little. You deal with one obstacle, others are uncovered by it. Don't stop!! Sometimes it feels like you're walking in a circle, but the fact is that it's a slow incline. Eventually you'll turn around and see how far you've come!

If you are looking for a therapist, try Psychology Today's therapist listings. You can select what specialty you want (for food issues, I highly suggest finding someone with a PhD who specializes in eating disorders) and can put in your insurance and find someone in your area. That's how I found my therapist, and I could not have been in any way successful with my surgery without her guidance. Peaceful thoughts sent to you. I hope you find someone who can help.

Thank you. It's wonderful and extremely helpful to hear from people who have "been there." Yes, depression is not something that one can just shake off. It is overwhelming and can completely take over one's life. Fortunately, my bouts of depression are usually short, days and weeks, not months, but it is still debilitating and it makes me very afraid to have this surgery. I have posted in other threads that I am afraid to fail. My depression is a big reason why I am afraid. I am going to seek out a therapist who deals with eating disorders and depression. It is just so darn hard to find someone who is really good. Like I said, I'm going to ask the psychologist who is doing my psych eval. I'm hoping he can point me in the right direction. He must have dealt with this before.

Thank you all. I am feeling better. Hope it lasts.

@pink dahlia -- I like your post. Sometimes people who haven't experienced depression don't understand it's a chemical imbalance and sometimes we just don't have control of it without medications. Diet and exercise might help alleviate symptoms but many times that's not NEARLY enough. My ex-husband used to say "I don't know what you're sad about..." Like you said, if there were a proverbial switch I could flip and be happy, don't you think I would have done it by now??? Turns out he was one thing in my life that made me very unhappy in addition to the depression. Once I got out of an unhappy situation, I certainly feel better but I still have depression. I can just manage it so much better. One of my standard lines back to him was "There's no pill that's gonna make me happy to be with you!" See why we're divorced? lol

While I expect weight loss to help me feel happier, I don't anticipate it will cure my depression as I've had it since I was a teenager and I only became obese after the birth of my second son twenty years ago.

Thank you Ginger snaps , I explain depression like this . Imagine you're sick as a dog with the flu. Your best friend calls up and says "I got a promotion, let go out and celebrate !" Your response is "im too sick , maybe later !" The 2nd week you're not sick anymore, but not well either. Tired, no energy, so so appetite, ticked off at the world, can't concentrate or focus. The 3rd week you're all better, off to the celebration dinner !! Well, depression is like permantly being stuck in the 2nd week. 24/7, do not pass go, do not collect $200.00. Ever. Welcome to the world of depression, which is why meds/ Dr.s may be the best choice for some, to get you healthy again. Its is NOT an easy journey, but I wish everyone well

Thank you Ginger Snaps and Pink Dahlia for your insights. You are both so "right on".

Ginger Snaps, I am also in a dead end relationship with my husband. Unfortunately, a big part of my depression is that for financial reasons, I cannot get a divorce or even live apart. We are both retired and there just isn't enough income to support two households. It just can't work. So, I'm trying to figure out how to live separately - together. This is a big challenge.

Pink Dahlia, I like your analogy. I'm definitely permanently stuck in week two! Most of the time I don't even leave the house. It feels like a cage and even though the door is open, I can't seem to walk out of it.

I'm working on it, though, and although it is really bad sometimes, it isn't as bad as it used to be. I just don't want to make a mistake with this surgery and find myself in a worse depressive state. That is my dilemma.