Therapy -VS- Responsibility?

[BookWorm 87]

I have to be honest here and say that I hate when people type obvious questions with obvious responses and expect a different outcome when you get them. So, I may hate myself later for posting this question.

But truly, is it just me or is it normal, screw normal, is it our responsibility post weight loss surgery to think about weight (gaining and losing) and what we put in our mouths every second of everyday, because I do; or do I just need therapy? I honestly think about it all day long.

I worry that if I eat this I can only consume this much later or if I run this far I can have more of this, etc. I am also one of those people that weighs everyday. I know, I know, we aren't supposed to do that; however, it keeps me honest. It is my accountability tool. Therapy vs responsibility.....which one?

[Miss Mac 6,261]

I am one of those people who weighs everyday, thinking that it helps me to stay responsible. At six months out, I still log every little bit, knowing that if I don't track, I lose track. One thing I did have to get over was EXERCISE BULIMIA. We all know that bulimia is a condition when whatever you eat, you bring it back up. Exercise bulimia is when after you eat, you feel like you have to go exercise those calories off right away. I am more relaxed about that now, but I still have issues with plateaus and constantly experimenting with should I eat this? cut back on that? drink more shakes? drink fewer shakes? eat cheese ? dairy? more carbs? less carbs? exercise first thing in the morning? eat more Protein? can I eat too much Protein? am I done losing only halfway to goal?..............................geeze Louize, the mental torment seems like a normal, but undiscussed part of the process, and keep on with all of the good habits I have learned on this journey. Just my humble observation of my personal (and very individual) experience.

[BookWorm 87]

Appreciate the fact that I'm not the only one. I thought maybe I was losing my mind. I do find myself struggling with the exercise bulimia as you put it. Since I never thought of it that way or as a problem, I appreciate the perspective. I do find myself doing this. In fact, I ran 7 miles this morning because I had gained 3lbs.

I am one of those people who weighs everyday, thinking that it helps me to stay responsible. At six months out, I still log every little bit, knowing that if I don't track, I lose track. One thing I did have to get over was EXERCISE BULIMIA. We all know that bulimia is a condition when whatever you eat, you bring it back up. Exercise bulimia is when after you eat, you feel like you have to go exercise those calories off right away. I am more relaxed about that now, but I still have issues with plateaus and constantly experimenting with should I eat this? cut back on that? drink more shakes? drink fewer shakes? eat cheese ? dairy? more carbs? less carbs? exercise first thing in the morning? eat more Protein? can I eat too much Protein? am I done losing only halfway to goal?..............................geeze Louize, the mental torment seems like a normal, but undiscussed part of the process, and keep on with all of the good habits I have learned on this journey. Just my humble observation of my personal (and very individual) experience.

[RayJunCayJun 41]

Hard to define normal but you sound it to me...maybe you are a Virgo? Maybe you are I am just kidding just trying to say it's part of your personalitly.

[TonyaNKy 79]

Seems like the norm for people like us is that we do things to the extreme. Whether it be eating or dieting or exercising. Either I was doing my own version of extreme weight loss or I was eating to the extreme. There was never a happy medium for me.

[gomekast 559]

I have to be honest here and say that I hate when people type obvious questions with obvious responses and expect a different outcome when you get them. So, I may hate myself later for posting this question.

But truly, is it just me or is it normal, screw normal, is it our responsibility post weight loss surgery to think about weight (gaining and losing) and what we put in our mouths every second of everyday, because I do; or do I just need therapy? I honestly think about it all day long.

I worry that if I eat this I can only consume this much later or if I run this far I can have more of this, etc. I am also one of those people that weighs everyday. I know, I know, we aren't supposed to do that; however, it keeps me honest. It is my accountability tool. Therapy vs responsibility.....which one?

I began my post op recovery just like you. Did the same things you said...then at my 6 month check up I was ordered to stop counting and measuring everything I ate and drank. I was becoming obsessed with it..I thought for a good reason. But when my therapist started warning me and telling me it was bordering on some sort of eating disorder...that opened my eyes. My dietician also gave me the same warning..without knowing that my therapist already had this on her radar.

I too had a bout with exercise bulimia, as mentioned above...I recognized that and stopped. That's still something I struggle with now, so I have to limit myself to walking and swimming(once I'm able too resume swimming anyways). Its a fine line for me.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is...just be careful. I did both..therapy and responsibility. The therapy made me realize my responsibility had gone too far and was slowly getting out of control.

I no longer count anything, measure anything or track anything that goes into my body. I added in a mid morning and mid afternoon scoop of Protein powder to be sure I met Protein goals without needing to count them. It was scary but once I got used to it it felt great. I was told to use the app recovery road I think it is to just write the food in a place that I could also track my anxiety I felt over not logging and tracking the numbers.

I do still weigh every morning, but.., for me that doesn't define me/who i am and my day. I use it more to gage how my body is reacting to food, beverage, activities, stress...anything like that.

I think its a fine line between responsibility and eating disorder like behavior. But again....that's just based on my own experience.

Edited June 24, 2014 by gomekast

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

I weigh every day and track everything I eat. every bite. I don't obsess over it. I just try to make the best choices when I eat. nothing is off limits though. I am 15 months out. if all I need to do to keep this off is weigh and track every day and make good choices 90 percent of the time and I can keep the weight off it's a small price to pay. it's not obsession it's just maintenance for me and part of my healthy habits like brushing teeth.

[onsummit 117]

I come down on the side of responsibility. Self-pay or insurance, the surgery cost someone a bundle. Also , bad enough to fail on a diet, but to fail when you've had most of your stomach removed!

A year out, I plan and I track. I clean dresser drawers and closets. There are actually written inventories of where to find everything. Most of my "junk" is gone, not stored in the back of the closet. Started that when I was able to donate my wardrobe. It feels good to be so unburdened.

[InfiniteButterfly 438]

I stopped weighing every day when I hit my first stall at 2 1/2 weeks. I weigh only on Fridays now, but I track all my food and exercise. To me, it's a way to be accountable to myself and responsible for my choices. I KNOW I was always better about eating when I'd track food pre-surgery...but if I had a bad day, I'd stop tracking and pretend it didn't exist. No more pretending. I plan my meals (to a degree...when I'm home, I worry less about it because I always have low-fat lunch meat and cheese sticks if nothing else). I take Snacks wherever I go so I don't resort to bad choices when I'm out and about.

I haven't gotten exercise bulimia yet...I tend to exercise first thing in the morning either cycling or walking and make sure I get enough steps in so I don't have to worry about what I eat (at this point, it's not much anyway)

[LivingFree! 478]

Thanks for your post and your honesty. It's not something we see talked about a lot here, and it's good for all of us to be aware that too much of any behavior (even if it seems like it's a GOOD behavior) can still get us into an unhealthy place. I think it's very innocent and normal that this happens to a lot of us, but the greatest thing is that you recognized that it isn't normal and/or healthy to keep doing it and you are changing the behavior.

I think part of our learning our new eating habits and lifestyle IS teaching ourselves what balance is for the first time in our life. We don't have to live in those EXTREMES any more because we can now be the ones in control of our food, not our food being in control of us. But it all takes time and practice, and being patient and kind with ourselves.

[BookWorm 87]

I'm a Gemini and you may be right it may be part of my personality.

Hard to define normal but you sound it to me...maybe you are a Virgo? Maybe you are I am just kidding just trying to say it's part of your personalitly.

[BookWorm 87]

gomekast, I appreciate your perspective and reading between the lines, its a balance and having an awareness. Again, thanks.

I have to be honest here and say that I hate when people type obvious questions with obvious responses and expect a different outcome when you get them. So, I may hate myself later for posting this question.







But truly, is it just me or is it normal, screw normal, is it our responsibility post weight loss surgery to think about weight (gaining and losing) and what we put in our mouths every second of everyday, because I do; or do I just need therapy? I honestly think about it all day long.







I worry that if I eat this I can only consume this much later or if I run this far I can have more of this, etc. I am also one of those people that weighs everyday. I know, I know, we aren't supposed to do that; however, it keeps me honest. It is my accountability tool. Therapy vs responsibility.....which one?

I began my post op recovery just like you. Did the same things you said...then at my 6 month check up I was ordered to stop counting and measuring everything I ate and drank. I was becoming obsessed with it..I thought for a good reason. But when my therapist started warning me and telling me it was bordering on some sort of eating disorder...that opened my eyes. My dietician also gave me the same warning..without knowing that my therapist already had this on her radar.


I too had a bout with exercise bulimia, as mentioned above...I recognized that and stopped. That's still something I struggle with now, so I have to limit myself to walking and swimming(once I'm able too resume swimming anyways). Its a fine line for me.




So, I guess what I'm trying to say is...just be careful. I did both..therapy and responsibility. The therapy made me realize my responsibility had gone too far and was slowly getting out of control.




I no longer count anything, measure anything or track anything that goes into my body. I added in a mid morning and mid afternoon scoop of Protein powder to be sure I met Protein goals without needing to count them. It was scary but once I got used to it it felt great. I was told to use the app recovery road I think it is to just write the food in a place that I could also track my anxiety I felt over not logging and tracking the numbers.



I do still weigh every morning, but.., for me that doesn't define me/who i am and my day. I use it more to gage how my body is reacting to food, beverage, activities, stress...anything like that.




I think its a fine line between responsibility and eating disorder like behavior. But again....that's just based on my own experience.

[livvsmum 2,368]

I can't say if what you are feeling is "normal" or not, but I can say that starting therapy with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders is one of the single best things I've ever done for myself. I can't recommend it enough.

ETA: Get the book "When food is Love"...read it... If it resonates at all with you, therapy might be a good option. :-)

Edited June 26, 2014 by livvsmum