It's time for one of my crazy questions again! Yes I like stirring the pot, I like to know what people think or how they approach any situation that most of us will come to someday.

For those who are experiencing this situation, are your family and friends telling you not to lose anymore weight? Do you still have some weight to lose according to the BMI? Are you taking their advice under consideration, or are you going to make your healthy weight goal? What does your surgeon think?

Sometimes our visions of ourselves can be greatly skewed by being super obese for so long, so it's possibly difficult to realize when we should stop losing weight or if we really should lose more. Of course the only person you should really listen to is your surgeon or weight loss staff in that respect. No matter what, always remain healthy mentally and physically.

I am only 6 days post op but I've been thinking about this scenario for awhile. I started this journey at 252, BMI of 44. From nutritionist advice and pre-op diet, my surgery weight was 238 and at 6 days out, I am at 229. My personal goal weight is 155-160 which should bring my BMI to around 25. I have not met with the surgeon yet, but at my age of 58, I don't expect some of the extreme weight loss numbers that I have read here. I also believe in having a few extra pounds on me in case I get the flu or bronchitis (which I' m susceptible to). I feel I will be happy being a few extra pounds over the recommended charts since I don't want to look sickly. Has anyone has this type of concern or conversation with their surgeon?

Yes I have just started to get this too in the last couple of weeks. A few relatives mostly. Still in the overweight range by about 15lbs and a size 8/10 so not super skinny. I do think a lot of it has to do with the comparison to before (105lbs ago).

I agree. A lot of people who make comments never knew me as a thin person so to them this is a drastic change.

I am only 6 days post op but I've been thinking about this scenario for awhile. I started this journey at 252, BMI of 44. From nutritionist advice and pre-op diet, my surgery weight was 238 and at 6 days out, I am at 229. My personal goal weight is 155-160 which should bring my BMI to around 25. I have not met with the surgeon yet, but at my age of 58, I don't expect some of the extreme weight loss numbers that I have read here. I also believe in having a few extra pounds on me in case I get the flu or bronchitis (which I' m susceptible to). I feel I will be happy being a few extra pounds over the recommended charts since I don't want to look sickly. Has anyone has this type of concern or conversation with their surgeon?

I am 54. My surgeon never set a goal for me but I never dreamed I'd reach 116lbs. Initially, I had no goal other than to feel good and be healthy. I sort of thought that being around a 12 - 14 would be awesome for a woman my age, so I stocked up on those sizes... and passed them by. I'm in a size 6 or 8 and a small top w/some extra smalls. It's mind boggling to me! I am literally one pound away from what I weighed on my wedding day 32 years ago. You will end up where you end up. My body may correct itself and hit a comfortable set-point here or maybe a little higher - who knows? I am just enjoying the ride! :-)

I have decided to start asking people what they weigh when they ask me about my weight. What an excellent idea! Should make people understand what it feels like to be a WLS loser. (And it's good for my research into the evil minds of others...Mwa haa haa...)

Great idea!!!!

Yup, I've had a few people (all older, overweight women...) tell me that I need to stop losing weight and/or ask "How much more are you planning to lose?" in disgusted voices. It does annoy me, but I try not to let it show and I'll just shrug or say, "I don't have a goal in mind." I don't feel like I'm too thin at all, I mean I'm 5 '6 and weigh 159 lbs. Technically I am still in the overweight range. I met my surgeon's goal (160 lbs) last week. My personal goal is 150lbs, though I'd LOVE to get down to 140 lbs (so long as stuff doesn't start to sag). I think I look super thin to people because: #1: I was fat for so long so it's a huge contrast #2: Obesity is such an epidemic in the US, that "overweight/average sized" people look super skinny because our idea of "normal" is so much bigger here than in other countries (I find this especially true when I go to the store and buy clothes. I can wear all smalls and sometimes extra-smalls now even though I am far from a small person. My friend, who really IS a small b/c she's like 5'5 and weighs 108lbs, has to shop in the children and teen section because all the smalls in ladies sections are way too big for her) #3: Haters gonna hate (I'm only half joking)

These are fabulous points...so fabulous, I fact, I used them today during a discussion with a good friend about my upcoming surgery. She told me not to lose to much because "people often get to thin aft WLS). After I mentioned these points she totally got it - especially the part about how we are so used to seeing certain people large that it informs our identity of them. Anyway - thanks for your insight!

Hey! I'm just seeing this and am so glad that my postings helped you explain to your friend about this lifestyle choice and the WLS.

People truly don't get it. I mean when I was an overweight pre-teen my Mom used to say, "Don't feel bad honey, Marilyn Monroe was a big girl too. She wore a size 14!" but when I look back at a size 14 from Marilyin Monroe's day, it was a modern day equilvalent to a sz 8 or possibly a larger 6. (I wear a sz 8/10 now and according to Monroe's stats, she weighed 30 lbs less than me). Our preceptions are so off!

Anyhow, again, glad to help

I've taught at the same middle school for 13 years--my co-workers know the fat me much better than the thin me! The school nurse has been a big cheerleader for me this year, up until the final week of school, LOL. She approached me, with her "serious medical issue" expression on, and whispered, "I need to tell you, I'm starting to get worried about your weight loss. You might want to start thinking about slowing down before you become dangerously underweight."
Seriously? I'm just BARELY over the "normal BMI" line, nowhere NEAR underweight. I think it made her feel important to have this come-to-Jesus talk with me, since most days, she is stuck dealing with nauseous pre-teens or sprained ankles from Phys. Ed. classes. It made me laugh, but I still thanked her for her concern. Some folks just NEED to involve themselves in your personal lives!

It's really weird but I got a lot of "don't lose any more weight" when I was around a size 14, now that I'm about a size 9 I never here that anymore. All I ever hear is that I look great. Well, actually I get a lot of "skinny" and "tiny" which, really gets on my nerves because I'm neither. When people have the nerve to ask what I weigh I just laugh, I mean, seriously? I don't really care what everyone else thinks at this point because I know I'm healthier and happier and I know I look great, and not just "compared to how I looked before". I may be relocating to Florida in the next year and I'm excited to start over in a place where the size of my ass isn't judged by every client that walks through the door.

This made me laugh out loud!

Yup, I've had a few people (all older, overweight women...) tell me that I need to stop losing weight and/or ask "How much more are you planning to lose?" in disgusted voices.

Edited July 5, 201412 yr by VSGAnn2014

She approached me, with her "serious medical issue" expression on, and whispered, "I need to tell you, I'm starting to get worried about your weight loss. You might want to start thinking about slowing down before you become dangerously underweight."

Seriously? I'm just BARELY over the "normal BMI" line, nowhere NEAR underweight. I think it made her feel important to have this come-to-Jesus talk with me, since most days, she is stuck dealing with nauseous pre-teens or sprained ankles from Phys. Ed. classes. It made me laugh, but I still thanked her for her concern. Some folks just NEED to involve themselves in your personal lives!

And this made me laugh, too! So, so true!

Ok, all I am going to say is you are all beautiful men and women. Those people are jealous or do not know how to interact with you as you have changed, but they have not. Do not believe them, do not let them get you down, remember why you went through the pain and hardship of losing the weight. family you cannot got rid of, but if it is a friend you need a new one or sit down and tell them how it feels. They will probably tell you why they say what they say.

I'm still 3 months pre op so I haven't been through this yet. But I have lost 18 pounds since being on my supervised diet, and I have had so many people say ask why I'm doing the surgery if I've already lost that much on my own. I quit telling people because I don't want to have to defend myself anymore. I have lost 30 on my own before but because of other medical problems I gained it all back plus some. Why do people think they know what's better for you?