Will my life change forever? scared to death...

[LighterSmarter 9]

Hi,

I have been reading every single post on this site. I am 50 yrs old, 270 pounds, 33 BMI, 6'4". I have been overweight my entire life - with the usual yoyo in weight.

I am scheduled for a sleeve in July with Dr. Aceves, but I am very scared. I am not worried about the surgery itself, as I think I will be in good hands. I am worried about the aftermath.

1) The pain of liquid diet in the first month

2) How soon after surgery can i go to work.

3) but most importantly - does it mean that my social life will be over. We love going out to restaurants- does it mean that it's game over? will I ever be able to eat more than a spoon of yogurt?

I would love to hear from other sleevers about their life after the surgery - months after the surgery, not the first few weeks. Can you go out, can you drink alcohol (one glass of wine is enough), what do you do in family BBQ events, etc?

Thanks

[NICU-RN 31]

Your relationship with food will change - it has to. That being said, nothing is absolute. I am 5 months out from my sleeve. I have had the complication of not being able to tolerate more than a bite of solid food, so am living on Protein shakes. I still go out to restaurants with my husband, I may not eat more than a bite or two, but I can still enjoy the company and the atmosphere. I am not feeling hungry, so it bothers me not to sit there and sip on a glass of ice Water while others eat. I am not an alcohol drinker, but I have read that on some programs a bit of alcohol is allowed once weight loss has been consistent. I know I haven't answered all of your questions, but don't be discouraged. Lots of us have been where you are, and we are making it just fine. You will also. (Also, reading the internet, while helpful, can at times be very unhelpful. Don't take to heart everything you read on here.)

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Life as you know it will be over. You will be moving on to your life, V2.0. It's much better. If you play your cards right, make the right changes to your thinking and diet, you will never mourn the old life that is focused on food as a major source of entertainment, comfort, and enjoyment. Personally, I'm pretty happy about it. I knew that things would have to change but couldn't really fathom what it would look like. I had to decide that food can NOT be the center of my universe. I still enjoy eating, I do dine out, but it's not center of my universe anymore. I think my new life is better, richer, and far more balanced. You'll find that you don't need to focus on food because when you are thin and healthy, there are so many better things to fill your time than eating. Good luck.

[Sherry73 94]

I am 7 months out from surgery. I do go out to eat with family and friends. If I know what place we are going to go I will get online and look at their menu. I do this so I can make the best food chose possible. A lot of times I will share a meal with someone. If I order a meal by myself I ask upfront for a to go container. Most times it is enough food for several meals for me. When we go to family events or cookouts I also choose food wisely. If they have hamburgers I will eat 1/2 of a patty, with toppings and no bread. I make sure I take fresh fruit and veggies so that I have other options besides the carbs and sweets. I no longer focus on food at family events. I actually look forward to the conversation more now. I come from a very large Native American family that most of us are overweight or obese. So I was worried about the family events. It has been much easier than I thought it would be. We just had a family reunion and it went great. Cousins commented on how little I eat compared to a year ago. Everyone was so supportive of my weight loss. I have three cousins that wanted more information about the surgery after they saw how much I have lost. This surgery opened the door for many conversations with them.

[Kindle 8,667]

1st of all don't worry about the preop and post op diet restrictions. It's all temporary, so who cares how much it sucks. What's' a couple months compared to the rest of your life? Don't dwell in the minute to minute, day to day part of it, just remember your long term goal. Between pre and post op I was on liquids for 34 days and further restriction for another 22. I never cheated once, never whined about it, and now it's a faded memory.

As for drinking and socializing, that only has to change if you let it. Your social life shouldn't be about how much food you can stuff in your face. I actually go out way more now than I did before surgery because I feel better about myself. I order whatever I want, eat what i can and take the rest home. Better yet, I order a small plate and eat off of everyone else's plate. I get a better variety that way. Last night I ordered ribs and veggies off the kiddie menu at a BBQ place and couldn't quite eat it all. I was at a picnic last weekend and had 1/4 burger, no bun, taco dip with Doritos, baked Beans with bacon, and a little apple/Carmel desert. I drank about a liter of Water throughout the evening, but I also had a glass of wine and a shot of apple pie moonshine. The biggest change when it comes to alcohol, is that I don't drink beer, and I don't drink until I'm drunk. It has taken a little getting used to being the only sober person at the party, but I'm oh so grateful in the morning with no hangover!

[McButterpants 2,846]

Yes, your life will change forever...

I am a better mom and wife.
I don't have such a hot temper - I'm not pissed off all the time.
I no longer wake up with headaches every morning.

Those aches and pains I felt all the time at 256 pounds - GONE!

I'm more connected with my family.

I can do one hour cardio sessions.

I'm stronger physically and mentally.

I am no longer too embarrassed to leave my home.

I'm an active participant in my own life.

I'm sharper mentally - I'm a better employee.

I think you know where I'm going here - My life has changed for the better. Sure, I can't sit down to a huge bowl of Pasta any more. I can't gulp Water. I have to think before I eat. I no longer sitting down eating 3 pieces of pizza. I don't eat ice cream any more. But those are parts of the Old Me. The New Me is so much happier, even without all the sacrifices I had to make.

I'll address your specific concerns...

The "pain" of the liquid diet for the first two weeks after surgery - sometimes it's going to suck. But, you'll know that what you're doing is a life changing experiences. You will get frustrated - I did. There was a time early on I told my husband that I was sick of it taking me 20 minutes to eat a scrambled egg. It is frustrating. But, I survived and so will you. You've had 50 years of over indulgence - it's time to reclaim your life. this is your reset button.

How soon to go back to work after surgery - I telecommute full time, I had surgery on Thursday and went back to work 1/2 days the following Monday. If I had to return to an office, I would have taken 1-2 weeks off. Those first 2 weeks I got tired very easily. I flew 10 days after surgery and got very tired.

Social life after surgery - I just went to Buffalo Wild Wings last night with some friends. I had the naked wings and ate 2 of them. No one said anything about the amount of food I was eating. I had a great time. A few weeks ago we went to dinner and I had a vodka cranberry - it was delicious. I can't drink like I used to - I have one drink. Sometimes I miss a beer at the ballpark, but I fit in the seats better so it's a tradeoff.

[mollystarshine 1]

Following this thread. I live in Canada and just requested my referral to the bariatric clinic yesterday. From what I've researched, I still have years to go unless I jet off to Tijuana. I've been having a lot of the same anxieties as you but after all the research I've done I just can't stop thinking how worth it it will be to ditch acid reflux along with alcohol, my infertility along with ice cream, high cholesterol along with hot wings, sleep apnea along with sour candies and depression along with Doritos, and how even when I go to the movies and can't stuff myself with a large bag of buttery popcorn, I'll be able to sit comfortably in the seat and cuddle with my boyfriend. As obese people, we almost all have a destructive relationship with food which I think is even more difficult to overcome than the challenges that go along with surgery. You and I born will require a lot of support and education to get through but I know it will be worth it! Good luck in your journey!

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

Your life will change and so much for the better!

Yes the first months and year is the toughest. Restaurants are not so much "fun" during that time. You will mourn the ability to self medicate with vast quantities of food. But it will all be worth it...

I am now at a weight I have not seen in 23 years before I had 4 children. I never dreamed to see his again.

I am 15 months out and have enough room now to eat a petite filet mignon at a restaurant. I can drink a glass of wine. (Though not while eating it - couple sips maybe) I don't get the appetizers and Desserts anymore. I see others get that and though it's a treat for them it is really a waste of money and excess calories. I will have 1 stuffed mushroom or half slice of fresh bread as an appetizer (if it's worth it). I don't waste my stomach volume on crap food.

My goto indulgence is a handful of almonds, dark chocolate m&ms. On weekends I will have some sangria some times.

I went on a bike ride with my husband this weekend and kicked his butt though I still weigh 20 lbs more than him. He said it was his bike (I don't think so!)

I don't go to sleep at night with the mantra "I gotta do something about this weight. I got to lose weight" buzzing in my head. I have time and energy to think about other goals, about volunteering, about being active, about shopping for new clothes! I walk by stores at malls and think wow I could actually shop there and fit in the clothes. I bought clothes at the gap and a size L was loose (and I still weigh in the 180s!). I don't have to settle for what is available in he plus section. I bought bathing suits this year without trepidation. Yes it's still a takini and has a skirt but I'm 48 and I even got a compliment from my husband. It's a size 12! I am a size 12.

Yeah life has change dramatically. And this drama is awesome!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I am 19 months out..I have had every complication known to WLS of anyone here or anywhere for that matter. I just got home from a 16 day stay at the hospital again due to another complication. I was surprised when I got home that I reached my goal.

Would I want to go back to the old me..Never...Has all the work I have put into this wasted time because I miss the old me..No

Would I trade my life for my former one..no

Do I miss the large amounts of food...Nope I thank god everyday that I can't over indulge anymore. Has my life changed. Yes in good ways and in bad... I am so active now and have energy to spare even when another complication rears its ugly head....I am a new and improved person who never wants to see the old life again at any cost.

I eat out sometimes and enjoy every bite I can fit into my sleeve. I eat everything in moderation and balance. That is how my nut taught me to eat. And unlike a lot on here I have learned a new way of eating but eating in the real world. I am fussier now then before and have the pride to only eat the very best of whatever I eat. I find I am so much happier then I ever was before...I am a new girl. In a new world and I take no prisoners...I am free now from the bondage of obesity...I intend to stay this way...No matter what!!!!! No matter what I go through while I travel this road...I am here to win it......And you will be too...

Fear is normal. I had none when I started this journey but that was a mistake. I was not prepared for what was about to happen. You face those fears and make sure your ready for a rocky road that is full of tears, smiles, laughs and huge changes in the way life looks at you and the way you look at it.....

[Brightfuture058 26]

You got a lot of great advise from people so far. Yes the pre/post op diets suck.....there is no easy way to soften that. During that time you cant really eat out with friends/family. But eventually you will be able to start eating reg foods. (Of course the foods allowed) When you go to a restaurant look for the healthy food choices. Yes you will need to eat healthier, but that is part of the work. Doesn't mean you cant eat at all just better. Your life will change but only for the better!!!!!!

[LighterSmarter 9]

Thank you all!!! I read every word and every piece of advice.

[Sparklingbeauty53 202]

I didn't have a sleeve. The advice here seems insightful and great. Just remember it is all good! Any change involves sacrafices. These sacrafices will be temporary and the new you will be a miracle! Enjoy the journey!

[DLCoggin 1,788]

I have been on this forum quite a long time and this is one of the most amazing threads I've ever read. Real people, sharing real stories, about real lives, real changes, real successes, real challenges, real feelings, real hopes and real dreams. The energy is astounding.

"It is your will that turns your thoughts and desires into reality."

[LadyDiva618 359]

Your life will change but it is a great change. You will start looking at food differently. Once you start losing the weight you will want to continue to keep going. You will start enjoy clothes shopping and start doing things you would never done before. For me I never thought I would run a 5K and I ran my first one in April. Your surroundings will change you will find out who is with you and who is against you. This will be a good change for you!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

Yes, the hope behind the surgery is that your life will drastically change forever.....for the better! This journey is all about finding out who you are and finding that inner strength that each of us have. It's the best damn thing I've ever done and yes, my life has changed forever and there's no way I'm looking back!