Just wondering if anyone has figured out there reason for being obese?

As for me is was alot of abuse when I was very young. I had always felt that if I was large no one could ever hurt me again because I felt invisible.

What are some of your reasons for the weight?

food gives me joy. I need to find joy in something else. The psychologist asked me to figure out what else can give me joy, and I still can't answer that. It was five months ago.

You can't answer that question.

Neither can I.

You can't answer that question. Neither can I.

Makes me want to cry for all of us.

What an amazing outpouring of truth here. I'm so sorry for all of those who suffered abuse or felt the need to disappear -- and of course depression and all of life's overwhelming issues caused so many of us to turn to food for comfort or escape. I became obese almost overnight when I took Prednisone for serious poison ivy -- ended up in the ER on IV steroids before I even knew what was happening. Poison ivy disappeared overnight and I gained fifty pounds in a few weeks. After that my body would not let go and I spiraled my way through every diet there was and just regained each time with a little more added on until I was 100 pounds heavier. Twenty years of that. Humiliation, defeat, increasingly poor health and just not able to budge the weight. Deprivation, restriction then rebound eating. What a carousel.

I'm still trying to figure it out. I know it is partially due to stress, loneliness (when I lived alone), and control issues. I got to control what I ate. Sounds like and addict right, you take the first cookie and second cookie takes you. That is about right. I often binged on something I liked. giving myself the excuse that well I'll eat it all and then there will be no more temptation. How dumb is that. Might have worked if I never brought it again. But that little lying voice I allowed to tell me I had control... When I figure out the rest of the story I'll share it.....

Happy trails

I had my kids close together and never had a weight problem. After my twins were born I never gained control of my weight again. I never felt full or had any energy. I would workout in the morning and then sleep a couple of hrs. I had to stop workouts because I would wake up and my kids would be up unsupervised. The drs could never tell me why. I fought my weight for the last 22 yrs and then had the sleeve. No abuse, great husband, great childhood, great family and friends. I can only think my body never readjusted after giving birth the last time. I was to told my hormones were not right and took replacements but never felt just right. Hoping that will change after more weight loss.

thaat little lying voice is really abig fat liar an dhis name is Satan,just thought u should know the whole truth...and the bible says that he is the father of all lies so welcone to understanding ur weaknesses to sin and addiction!

For me if I'm being completely honest I think I feel it's all I have to offer people to like me. I'm a really good cook and often make stuff for work and family and host every holiday. And other times i'm not feeling good physically and I search for something to go in my mouth that stops that feeling.

I've been sort of lurking in the background of this conversation trying to get the courage up to say that I think most of you are being way too hard on yourselves. The AMA declared obesity a disease last year. Much evidence points to the fact that our BMI is genetically determined. To me, losing weight and trying to keep it off was like trying to change the color of my eyes - it just wasn't going to happen without surgery. Try as I could to eat healthy, exercise and avoid stress and emotional eating, I couldn't change my genetic make up. I'm done with blaming myself or others around me for my obesity. It is what it is and I've take the action I need to move on.

I was obese for no reason at all. I like food but I'm not addicted to it. I have had a fortunate life and none of the horrible issues so many of you face. Not particularly an emotional eater. I have a good income and access to whatever fresh healthy food I want to buy.

Really, I just think I don't need much food to live. I can maintain weight at 1,000 calories. I know that every diet expert out there roars how impossible that is, and spouts bs about starvation mode and thermodynamics (which they woefully misapply), but I lose 1-1.5 lb a week eating very, very low calories. I WOULD NEVER have lost this weight by just "eat a little less and move a little more" nonsense.

Mainstream public can understand all types of human biological variability--but can't accept that two identically-sized humans could extract calories to greatly different extents.

I got fat - because I ate too much.

Why did I eat too much?

Loneliness, unreasonable expectations, unrealised parental aspiration and their regret. Unyielding, all encompassing judgement. Condition-based love and affection, paranoia and knowing no matter what I achieved - I was never going to be good enough.

Reason enough, I think.

@@NothingUpMySleeve That's pretty similar to my answer in this thread. I agree, and I think the medical community is coming around, that there is more to it than just 3500 calories = 1 pound. Some of us just don't fit that mold, and there are so many other factors that influence weight, and I think much of it is still to be discovered. However, I'm pretty thrilled with what I've been able to accomplish with the sleeve, even if it remains a daily struggle against my body (who liked being super fat and still wants to be!)

I don't know if I have a long drawn out answer but mine I believe is simply because I like food. Food tastes good. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and food is safer than a drug addiction.

Genetics in my case

I think these kinds of threads are really good for all of us - to figure out why we became overweight. Most of us has either had our wls or in the process of it & now that we've addressed our weight, we can address the underlying cause. Keeps things in perspective when you hear each other's journey!

At least part of mine is genetic...every woman in my family (with very, very few exceptions) have the same body shape and size: too big. Whether it's actual, physical genetics or just the 'way we were brought up'...unhealthy food, unhealthy lifestyles, unhealthy coping mechanisms. That got me to around 200 lbs. My horrible first marriage took me the rest of the way. He was an emotionally crippling and abusive SOB, and I ate to deal with his BS. I ate because I didn't want him to touch me, and I figured the bigger I was, the less likely he was to come near me.

I divorced 14 years ago, but more of the damage was done at that point. I couldn't get back on track. Even with a healthy relationship or two, and the support of both hubby and bf, I could eat healthier and be more physically active, but the lingering baggage from that first marriage still held me back. I started counseling shortly prior to making the decision to have surgery, and she suggested that in order to get out of the morass I was in, I needed to take charge of my life. I stepped out and started doing volunteer work and discovered that I actually am a valuable person, and I do matter to people. That I could contribute in a positive way. And that realization made me take charge of more areas of my life. I realized that I needed more tools in my belt to achieve better health, and I started the journey toward surgery.

Midway through taking the classes, I also started talking about going back to school...which hubby encouraged me to do (I've been an artist most of my life, but I was very, very limited in my work. I've always wanted to go to art school). I started my first semester at the same time I got my surgery date (handy enough, the online courses are split into eight-week segments, and my surgery fell during Week 7...with the instructor's blessing, I was able to easily finish my work early that week so I would miss nothing for the few days I was in hospital). So..getting healthy, taking charge of my life, moving in a new direction. Becoming the person I was meant to be It all goes hand-in-hand.

And even though I'm not seeing the original counselor any longer (I switched to one who specializes in bariatric patients and their special needs), I do credit her with giving me the advice and push I needed to get out and take charge of me.