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Developing Mental Toughness for Long-term Weight Loss: 4 Quick Steps!



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If you are anything like me, discipline or strong willpower is not something that comes natural. I have been developing mental toughness throughout the years when it comes to maintaining a healthy weight. Does your mind race with thoughts of eating a smorgasbord of different foods? Is every food going through your mind a carbohydrate loaded with sugar or salt? Do you think, “Let me just eat or drink what I want today, and I will get back on track tomorrow?” Do you go through a plethora of different feelings? You may not even know what you are feeling. All you know is that you are consumed with this urge to eat or drink, many times when you are not physically hungry.



Man, did I feel like that today. I just wanted to check out and lose myself in literally stuffing my face with junk food. I was consumed with thoughts of pizza, nachos and cheese, Gummy bears and Ben & Jerry’s New York City super chunk ice cream. Oh, and let’s not forget the Peanut Butter cup candy. Maybe your favorite question is, “Wine, anyone?” Maybe your choice of food to emotionally zone out is different, but is any of this resonating with you?

So what do I do when this pattern pops up in me? This is where developing mental toughness will get you the desired results you deserve. Below, I am going to walk you through four quick steps that have worked wonders for me in developing mental toughness, and I know they can work wonders for you!

4 quick steps to developing mental toughness:

1. First, realize your pattern of internal dialogue and foods when you are getting ready to emotionally eat or start binge eating. Once you begin to pay attention, you will notice that you crave the same foods every time and that there is an impulse or urge to eat right away. You will have the same automatic dialogue of eating and watching TV or telling yourself you’ll just eat this one time and start fresh tomorrow, etc.

2. Stop and realize you are trying to avoid or escape a bad feeling. We automatically want to feel good. Tell yourself that having a bad feeling is not the end of the world; you are not dying. Take a moment to identify the feeling, where it is in your body and what is it trying to tell you. If you cannot find it, that is okay. Just continue to tell yourself that it is okay to feel bad. Allow yourself to just sit with it.

3. Remember to breathe. Through this time, take deep breathes, letting go with every exhale.

4. Have the mantra: “There is no tomorrow. I only have this moment. What I do right now is the only thing that matters. What I do right now is creating my future.” Repeat this over and over again as you breathe.

You will notice that as you go through this process, the feelings that were leading the desire to eat will lesson; as they lesson, your desire to eat will lesson.

The key to developing mental toughness is to become aware of your automatic behaviors to escape bad feelings. If you follow these four steps every time you have an impulse to emotionally eat, you will create a new pattern of reacting to your feelings. When you have a plan to decrease the number of times you emotionally eat, you will be amazed at how quickly you begin to see results in weight loss!

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With WLS, we've all taken such drastic lifesaving steps to change the physical actions of eating and overeating. But our minds are more powerful than any physical limitations from surgery. Wherever my head is, my eating is. If continue to let my feelings rule my head, it's a lost cause. I'll sabotage my band and my WLS will be useless, or worse, dangerous because I abuse it. If I instead work on the heart/mind/body connection and recognize and respect each component, it can be different. I'm so glad I read this upon waking up today. It's a reminder that my mental state is under my control, and I don't have to turn my thoughts over to my feelings. My feelings are valid, but obeying my feelings at the expense of my thoughts and body is a habit I can break with practice. Great article!

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Excellent and well said!

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It's funny, but your #4 and my mantra vary significantly.... I hate thinking I'm NEVER going to be able to have that "bite of cake." So, I always say to myself ..... That piece of cake will be there tomorrow. I don't have to eat it now bc if I really want it, I'll have it tomorrow. Nine times out of ten, I don't even remember that the next day!!!! I also use what I call "the apple test." Whenever those crazy "I want..., I have to have" thoughts enter my mind, I will walk into the kitchen, pick up an apple, and say to myself, "If you're REALLY hungry, eat this apple first, then you can have the FORBIDDEN TREAT!" Again, nine times out of ten, I place the apple back in the bowl, turn around, and walk out if the kitchen.

Very good article and sooo insightful in how the human brain works in overweight people!

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Enjoy your insight, and so grateful for your sharing your methods! Love it!

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Hi @@HealthyNewMe Your "apple test" is reall y interesting idea. I will definitely try that.

And I think I'm more with you in saying to myself "you don't have to eat the cake/chocolate/icecream now. It will still be there tomorrow. You can eat some tomorrow if you want to"... and often, as you say too, when it comes to tomorrow the desire for it is not the same intensity. I wish I could say the desire has completely gone the next day, but unfortunately it's not quite like that.

It's funny, but your #4 and my mantra vary significantly.... I hate thinking I'm NEVER going to be able to have that "bite of cake." So, I always say to myself ..... That piece of cake will be there tomorrow. I don't have to eat it now bc if I really want it, I'll have it tomorrow. Nine times out of ten, I don't even remember that the next day!!!! I also use what I call "the apple test." Whenever those crazy "I want..., I have to have" thoughts enter my mind, I will walk into the kitchen, pick up an apple, and say to myself, "If you're REALLY hungry, eat this apple first, then you can have the FORBIDDEN TREAT!" Again, nine times out of ten, I place the apple back in the bowl, turn around, and walk out if the kitchen.

Very good article and sooo insightful in how the human brain works in overweight people!

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The other point you need to remember is that we need healthy food. An apple is healthy. salad is healthy. I can see eating one apple since its a carb, but eating salad or lettuces, veggies like broccoli or cucumbers, Proteins like chickpeas, those are healthy for you.

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With WLS, we've all taken such drastic lifesaving steps to change the physical actions of eating and overeating. But our minds are more powerful than any physical limitations from surgery. Wherever my head is, my eating is. If continue to let my feelings rule my head, it's a lost cause. I'll sabotage my band and my WLS will be useless, or worse, dangerous because I abuse it. If I instead work on the heart/mind/body connection and recognize and respect each component, it can be different. I'm so glad I read this upon waking up today. It's a reminder that my mental state is under my control, and I don't have to turn my thoughts over to my feelings. My feelings are valid, but obeying my feelings at the expense of my thoughts and body is a habit I can break with practice. Great article!

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Beautifully said! Its a moment by moment decision. We sometimes lose a battle but are we winning the war when it comes to our sabotaging thoughts. This is a life long journey; at least it has been for me and I for sure have off days or do give into the thought/feeling states but I find it is less and less to the point that I continue to maintain a healthy weight. Lets remember to be patient and gracious with ourselves.

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Hi @HealthyNewMe Your "apple test" is reall y interesting idea. I will definitely try that.

And I think I'm more with you in saying to myself "you don't have to eat the cake/chocolate/icecream now. It will still be there tomorrow. You can eat some tomorrow if you want to"... and often, as you say too, when it comes to tomorrow the desire for it is not the same intensity. I wish I could say the desire has completely gone the next day, but unfortunately it's not quite like that.

It's funny, but your #4 and my mantra vary significantly.... I hate thinking I'm NEVER going to be able to have that "bite of cake." So, I always say to myself ..... That piece of cake will be there tomorrow. I don't have to eat it now bc if I really want it, I'll have it tomorrow. Nine times out of ten, I don't even remember that the next day!!!! I also use what I call "the apple test." Whenever those crazy "I want..., I have to have" thoughts enter my mind, I will walk into the kitchen, pick up an apple, and say to myself, "If you're REALLY hungry, eat this apple first, then you can have the FORBIDDEN TREAT!" Again, nine times out of ten, I place the apple back in the bowl, turn around, and walk out if the kitchen.

Very good article and sooo insightful in how the human brain works in overweight people!

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Going to drink Water or a non calorie beverage, 5 ounces of that, and then think whether or not you want it or not. The other is going out for a 10-15 min. walk. Try those first.

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This article was very timely and helpful for me as I just had a very high calorie day yesterday and I had not made the connection that I was eating emotionally, I thought it was just boredom. But I do keep going to the same chocolate/peanut butter combination and I realized it occurs when I am feeling left out of activities that my family or friends are doing. Those feelings and my response go back to my childhood, so the next time I crave those cups, instead I can start to think about what it is I am really craving!

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Ana Gram, this sentence just set off a lightbulb for me. Boredom is an emotion. I tend to think of emotion as sad, happy, angry, etc. I'll now ask myself, is this impulse this moment driven by a thought or not? Boredom isn't a thought, right? If it's not a thought, it's probably an emotion. Then I can feel the emotion, and take control of the thoughts that follow.

Ooh, we're gonna get so GOOD at this!

I had not made the connection that I was eating emotionally, I thought it was just boredom.

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