My 21 yr old is considering sleeve

[NMJG 1,266]

20 something vets - I would love to hear your input.

My son turns 21 shortly. He is considering the sleeve. He has been heavy since 5th grade, and all that entails.... I had the sleeve last year and have been very successful with it, which he sees. He also knows first hand that it isn't easy, what I can/can't eat, etc. He says I eat like an ant. LOL

He is considering getting the sleeve. He is a low BMIer - just 35, but he is diabetic. His self esteem is so low, he has no confidence, and few friends. Girlfriends are out of the question. I do think losing the weight would change his life and I want to support him in this decision, if he wants to do it. I also don't want to push him into it just because I did it. We are scheduled for an informational seminar this month.

He doesn't eat junk food or drink soda, as we have always had a healthy home food-wise, but he eats so much! At a meal he will eat enough for 2 or 3 normal people. He is also pretty lazy and doesn't like physical activity. He was a little tornado when he was small, so I think a lot is due to his size. Getting him to exercise will be an issue.

Can you share your thoughts? Pros and cons of having this surgery so young? I worry that there are still health risks with the sleeve long term that we don't even know about yet. I didn't worry about that for myself, but I'm in my 50's. Does this mean a lifetime of PPI's for him? What else?

Thank you for responding.

[Recycled 2,182]

First off at 21, he's not your 21 year old anymore. As in any surgery, there are risks. And as an adult, this type of elective decision should be solely his.

If I were you I would play it down. Use a little reverse psychology. Rag on him alittle. Things like...."yeah sweetie, it's working for me but you're lazy and without determination and focus you'll blow it." Make it something he wants to prove to himself and everyone, he can do. And don't sugar coat the risks. Make sure he researches the procedure in detail so he is very aware of the life-long choice he's making.

It's not a race. He needs to come to the decision on his own, in his own time. You need to distance yourself from this one mom. If it were me at 21 again, I would find a way to lose it on my own. I agree with you on the I'm old..... and if it goes south......well you know what I mean. Good luck.

Edited March 6, 2014 by Recycled

[PdxMan 4,292]

While I am not 20 something (actually a little more than double ...) I have had this conversation with my wife whether I would encourage one of my children having this procedure if they were morbidly obese. My daughter falls along the paternal genetic side of the fence (me) while my son has my wife's genetic disposition. She is quite young, still, but I can see the writing on the wall. She, too, does not eat junk food as we simply don't really have it in the house. But she doesn't have that inclination, anyway. She still has 95% of her Halloween candy in her room. She is also active in many activities, so she is not resistant to physical activity. But, like I said, my wife and I can see the writing on the wall.

Would I recommend the surgery for her when she is 21? Sure. On the condition, however, that she had made no less than 3 earnest attempts at losing and keeping the weight off by other means than WLS. She would need to have read some books on nutrition and understanding how the body consumes food and burns energy. She would need to have tried a lifestyle change which she can support for an extended period of time.

In my opinion, WLS should be the last stop on the block after attempting everything else. BTW, my wife agrees.

[NMJG 1,266]

Thanks, guys, this is great input. I agree it should be a last stop. We've been doing low carb, since that's the way I eat now anyway, and he's lost some just because we don't have Pasta or potatoes or bread in the house anymore.

On another note, his younger brother, who was also obese and diabetic, lost the weight on his own this last year. While he did go low carb (kinda sorta), the biggest difference was exercise (forced) due to a new warehouse job combined with long walks from the parking lot to classes at his college. He is now cured of diabetes, no more metformin, and doesn't even have to test any longer. I keep hoping this will happen for my older son.

[NMJG 1,266]

So, we decided to hold off. Had a heart to heart with my son and I told him I thought he was too young and he should really try on his own first before making such a drastic decision. He readily agreed with some degree of relief, I think. We'll see how it goes.

[Zappo 8]

Awh, looks like you already made up your mind!

I'm 22, male and low end of the obese BMI range (35). The trouble I've found is that depending on what we do, our lifestyle is pretty sedentary.That mixed with all of the hanging out with mates, restaurants, pubs, etc it's hard to manage a diet at 22. All of my friends are all skinny, slim and eat the same as me but are able to keep it off, and it's becoming so hard now to actually go out with them when they are all so social and energetic and 'normal' sized, and I look like a buffalo next to them.

I've thought long and hard about this, and from a health perspective, at 22 my heart, joints, kidneys, liver etc is still young and able to heal pretty well, but under the stress of an extra 30kgs for the next 10-15 years, it will play a massive part on contributing to other health complications.

My thoughts anyway, best of luck to your son and you never know, he may prove me completely wrong and be able to lose the weight the ol' fashion way!

[ohh_mandyy 211]

I'm 23 and was sleeved 10 months ago and I'm down 106 pounds. It was the best decision of my life and I have not regretted it once. But with that said, not only do I eat tiny portions due to my sleeve I eat clean and exercise regularly and lead an overall healthy lifestyle which I'm sure you know is key to success. I think as long as he truly understands that and is ready to embrace that part of this life change, than age does not matter. I opted for the surgery at a young age because I have watched my family members suffer from obesity related health issues. I absolutely did not want to go through that so I took advantage of this tool now to prevent those issues before they started. The sleeve is great for any age as long as you're mentally prepared for the work it takes.

[NMJG 1,266]

Awh, looks like you already made up your mind!

I'm 22, male and low end of the obese BMI range (35). The trouble I've found is that depending on what we do, our lifestyle is pretty sedentary.That mixed with all of the hanging out with mates, restaurants, pubs, etc it's hard to manage a diet at 22. All of my friends are all skinny, slim and eat the same as me but are able to keep it off, and it's becoming so hard now to actually go out with them when they are all so social and energetic and 'normal' sized, and I look like a buffalo next to them.

I've thought long and hard about this, and from a health perspective, at 22 my heart, joints, kidneys, liver etc is still young and able to heal pretty well, but under the stress of an extra 30kgs for the next 10-15 years, it will play a massive part on contributing to other health complications.

My thoughts anyway, best of luck to your son and you never know, he may prove me completely wrong and be able to lose the weight the ol' fashion way!

Hey Zappo, thanks for writing. I don't know that he has completely made up his mind and he may well decide to do the surgery later on. I just didn't want to push him either way, but for him to make up his own mind. He's a sedentary guy, does a lot of gaming. Best of luck to you

[NMJG 1,266]

I'm 23 and was sleeved 10 months ago and I'm down 106 pounds. It was the best decision of my life and I have not regretted it once. But with that said, not only do I eat tiny portions due to my sleeve I eat clean and exercise regularly and lead an overall healthy lifestyle which I'm sure you know is key to success. I think as long as he truly understands that and is ready to embrace that part of this life change, than age does not matter. I opted for the surgery at a young age because I have watched my family members suffer from obesity related health issues. I absolutely did not want to go through that so I took advantage of this tool now to prevent those issues before they started. The sleeve is great for any age as long as you're mentally prepared for the work it takes.

Thanks, Mandy, I appreciate your thoughts. I am so glad to hear how successful you have been. I'm not sure my son is ready to do what it takes to eat clean and exercise. He sees what I do, but I don't think he really understands how much discipline is involved. He might well decide in the future to go this route, it is always open to him.

[Zappo 8]

Totally understand, I'm the same these days! Love my games. I guess how I see it, is that the sleeve essentially restricts how much you can eat, even if you don't 'stick to a diet plan and work hard'. If you don't, you feel physically sick ( from what I've been told) so I guess that's more motivation than anything t

[TeenSleever93 0]

I struggled with being overweight since i was about his age, i had my sleeve 2 years ago at 18 years old. Lost almost 100 pounds, no longer at risk for diseases associated with being over weight.

[Lindsayloo1103 89]

Im 21 and i just had my surgery on friday. Its a choice that will make the rest of his life better. If he needs a friend i will be going through it and can lend some friendly advice. Its great that you've had it done and you can help/support him.

[Jaymeson1 6]

I'm 26 and had the sleeve done last year. I have always been overweight, I say get it. Because if he hasn't lost the weight by now, he may go another 20 years not doing anything about it. I think it's easier to adjust while younger. I have had little issue with my surgery, I still go out with friends to bars and out to eat and socialize often. You will adjust.

[alwaysonadiet 47]

The younger the better!!! I think my surgeon did it on his 16 year old niece. It's safe and effective. Don't wait until you are 100 pounds overweight or more no matter how old you are. Anything over 30 bmi can qualify.

[WifeyMaterial 139]

Hey I was sleeve a 23 almost 2 years ago have lost almost 100 plds with the surgery and 29 before the surgery my bmi was 51 and only 5 foot 3 and at risked for alot of things I also didn't discipline well after a year out now I'm having some complications yes I think having the surgery at a certain age or even having the mind set to change forever is what u want to do cause I m having problems with me not listening eating right everybody body is different. That what I get for being hard headed but I'm glad that you and your son had that talk kinda wish I shouldn't of waited but then I'll still b obese from eating so idk. Good luck everyone n congrats on all your success..