So..... my brother, some of my friends and coworkers....(all of them who have never been overweight or fat) are reallllly annoying me!! Its like they cant live a normal life knowing I am preparing for WLS, When really its none of their business! I have struggled all my life... I have dieted joined every kind of weight loss program there is, and for 2 years straight I worked out daily with my brother (who lives at the gym) to lose weight and nothing has every gotten me results! And nothing has been permanent! They don't understand what its like to feel miserable in your own body! Or to workout day to day and only lose a few pounds in a few months. I finally have something that can aide me in my never ending journey to shed the pounds and I feel like everyones trying to take that away from me. My one shot of happiness seems to be upsetting everyone around me. Its not like Im taking the easy way out... nothing about WLS is easy and it will be the hardest thing that I have ever done. Just want them to be content with my decision and at the very least keep their mouths closed if they cant be supportive! Is that so much to ask for?! Or at the very least be happy that I have never given up on losing weight and becoming healthier I just decided to chose my way to get there! END RANT. lol p.s. sorry about my run-on sentences (Im famous for them)

I have a similar problem with my sisters. I have two plus my mom and none of them have ever been overweight so they don't understand and they frown upon anyone who has wls which is why I haven't told them that I'm planning on having it. One of my sisters is nurse and you would think she has a better understanding then others but nope she calls it the 'easy way out' as if I haven't been trying everything.

I feel like this is something that I NEED to do for myself and I just don't their negativity to affect me. The best advice I can give is to let them know you're getting it done regardless of what they think b/c you know it's the ebt thing for you.

I hope you have other support for your journey. My husband is my support and I'm so thankful for him.

Good luck w/ everything.

my best friend and my mother understand and have supported me since day one and ever since I found this website I honestly feel good about my decision! I wont let anyone make me back out of it my health and life are at stake! I hope you have a wonderful journey as well!

They don't understand what its like to feel miserable in your own body!

I hate that, my close friend is like that. She has been skinny all of her life and she believes's that all I have to do is push back from the table. Its not that simple

It is amazing how poorly people count.

They can't seem to count to one, that's the number of lives each of us have.

No one yet has lived for two people.

The brain in each head is supposed to control what it's body does.

We are sovereign territory which only we have the deed to.

The truth is you have to fight for your right to own your own life. Power hungry life hackers seek to have points of control in as many heads as their coercion skill allows. It is up to us to keep possession of that which is ours.

It is our life, our body, our right to our own thinking and life direction. If running my own life comes at the expense of losing the companionship of those who wish to direct my destiny by whipping me with insult and slander, it is a price that I am happily prepared to pay.

Edited February 18, 201412 yr by gmanbat

All of the negativity just makes we wonder how long has this been happening to me and I never realized!! Maybe somewhere down the line with a previous attempt I could have done it..I could have loss more weight but I always had an outside influence that hinder my ability to do it. NO MORE!

I wouldn't pay them any mind, that's my reason for not sharing my business with anyone because of everyone judging because the weight loss struggle is real!

I actually decided to keep my decision private until I got closer in my journey. Only a small bit of people are aware even now. I have to say I have a great support system, but I also know that not everyone will get it. Keep your head up, don't let them bother you. Like you said, you have to do this for you. YOLO!

i told only my family but like a wild fire its spread sooo fast. and in order to take time off work i had to offer some info either way I plan on having my surgery March 27th! Its just annoying to reach out for support and being only met with unwanted opinions

I understand. Sometimes, family is the worst with the criticism. Just know that you can come here for support. We have your back. As for the naysayers, you have to become a "DUCK"! Let it slide off your back like Water to a duck! LOL!

Besides when you reach your goal, you will find, EVERYONE is going to want to be on your team then! You will have your revenge when you show your success!

Keep pressing forward! You only have one true judge and as long as you and the Man upstairs are in agreement, no one can take this away from you.

I have been VERY lucky to that end...my sister had the RnY about 10 years ago (wishing now she had sleeved)... so my family is VERY supportive of me...as well as on my husbands side...but mostly HE supports me, and that's what matters, he wants me to be healthy! After all he married me when I was 350 pounds

I don't tell people unless they ask, and I think most people are more Enlightened about the surgery and it's effects of us now...you should ask your family to check into some websites and read how obesity is KILLING us and that it is found to be more genetic than they ever thought before...

Good luck! Just stand firm...this is NOT an easy way out... you still have to work at this!

I'm going through the same thing. .my mom & sister was all for it in the beginning. .but ever since I got serious about it..going through with all the insurance hoops. .now they telling me, why would I want to have wls..when I'm not guarantee that I will lose the weight and I would have to take vitamin for the rest of my life. Especially since a close family friend had VSG..and she looks older,unhealthy and obsessive about losing more weight and that she looks 10 yrs older. They said that's how I will become and my hubby may not love me anymore if I look that horrible. I feel so hurt..mind u my sister is dieting and losing weight. Every time I see her I complement her on her body..it realllly hurt, cause they see how long I have a weight issue. .happy my hubby is the only one that is supporting my decision.

I'm going through the same thing. .my mom & sister was all for it in the beginning. .but ever since I got serious about it..going through with all the insurance hoops. .now they telling me, why would I want to have wls..when I'm not guarantee that I will lose the weight and I would have to take vitamin for the rest of my life. Especially since a close family friend had VSG..and she looks older,unhealthy and obsessive about losing more weight and that she looks 10 yrs older. They said that's how I will become and my hubby may not love me anymore if I look that horrible. I feel so hurt..mind u my sister is dieting and losing weight. Every time I see her I complement her on her body..it realllly hurt, cause they see how long I have a weight issue. .happy my hubby is the only one that is supporting my decision.

It is great that you have a supporting husband.

The family friend that is not doing well is not you. You have a different body and a different mind. If I were you I would investigate if possible and find out the particulars of what this friend is doing. There could be many explanations and you could learn what to avoid.

I am sitting here over 2 years after sleeving, at and past goal for a year, weight stable, health restored, and looking good, (according to my wife, anyway ).

Would your family be interested in coming on this forum and seeing the success stories of thousands of people or are they content with using just one example?

I am also on a path right now where I really want this surgery. I've told a couple of people my thoughts but no one has really been outright supportive.

It seems like a lot of people look at it like we're cheating or something. Yet most of them have never known the pain or struggle of being obese.

I believe that we will all strive to work every day toward our goal after surgery and every day once we get to goal to maintain it.

I get why people who have wls tell very few people. Especially if they know those people are going to judge and are not going to be supportive.

Thats what was upsetting me the whole time! Either ppl think there is too much involved with it..the pre op-diet and the psych evaluation etc... but they dont realized that those things, the new lifestyle we are willing to have requires discipline and dedication! Its not an easy thing to go through! The possibility of being sick for foods we eat, having a staple leak and even a possible wls failure are all a risk we feel is a better option than to just be overweight and unhealthy and knocking on deaths door! Other who dont understand the slightest thing about wls or what its like to be the biggest person in the family or in a group of friends shouldnt have anything to say about our decision until they have lived a day in our shoes. Like I said before I told my family because I thought they would honestly be ok and maybe even a little happy for me that I might finally have the tool I need to help me dip the weight for good but in the end I cant care if they dont.

Well, I for one am so psyched for you Kiara and I pray that everything goes well! It has got to be tough going through this knowing that some of the people you have told are not being supportive!

(((HUGS))))

I really hate the stigma that is attached to weight loss surgery, How someone loses weight is all relative and each method comes with risks and advantages.