Hello, I think I need Help

[delicateorchid 0]

Hi ... I am unsure if this message will be read or acknowledged but I thought I would give it a go.

I'm Angela, 27 years old . I'm engaged to my college sweetheart, Paul. We've known each other for 8 years now and he has been my rock throughout the years. We studied sport and exercise and I had hoped to progress to become a fitness instructor.

I loved working out, always made me feel good afterwards. I loved the gym, swimming, hurling and dancing (I know some people debate about wither dance is a sport or not but it burns calories).

I grew up without a dad. He left when I was a baby. My mother had a hard time and I didnt make things easy for her as a child. She was my best friend. At the weekends she used to do fun an interesting things with me like make a tent out of a bed sheet and chairs and we would cuddle with hot chocolate and marshmallows and read stories. She was a great mother. She died during my third year of studies and I hit rock bottom.

I gave up on the idea of being a fully qualified fitness instructor and running my own gym(s) and I took over my mother's business, a little florist shop.

I began binge eating and I started off thinking that because of my body's metabolism, I wouldn't gain weight. I was very wrong to assume I would never gain a pound. I did not notice the weight gain until my clothes shrunk. At first I blamed the tumble dryer. This upset me and what did I do? Only retreat back to the cookie jar again. I no longer felt full after a mcdonalds children happy meal. Now I am able to eat an extra large big mac meal and a regular cheese burger meal together. My BMI has shot up to 45.8 and I am far from the thin girl I used to be.

It amazes me sometimes how Paul is still standing by me. He has tried to get me up and exercising again but I've asthma now and I find it hard to do any form of exercising. Ive tried a few diets but they don't work long term.

My last option is weight loss surgery. I have only joined this forum and will have a look into the different topics available.

Thanks for reading.

[kimk1999 450]

First off, sorry to hear about your moms passing.

I too am a former skinny girl. I weighed 120 when I got married in college about 14 years ago (wow now I feel old). I used to play ice hockey, kayaked, volleyball and decently physically fit.

Over the years work took over my free time and I've gained. I struggled with many diets (HCG twice, Atkins/south beach, etc). My last one was the divorce diet - too depressed to eat. My weight has gone up and down many times. Usually up more than down. After struggling with fertility issues for 1.5 years and after numerous tests the doc said I need to lose weight. So here I am. I started this weight loss journey seriously 7 months ago with the lap band surgery almost 4 weeks ago.

Weight loss surgery is not an easy peasy magic pill to make you lose a bunch of weight. You will have to work hard and start exercising again. It is a wonderful tool (if you let it) to control your portion size. You still have to control what you put in your mouth. I was a junkaholic but after surgery I'm not really craving those things anymore.

Good luck and welcome to the forum.

[DeezJeanz 1,065]

Gm Angela. First let me say I'm sorry for the loss of ur mom, I loss my last yr:( Trauma is not a friend when it comes to weight loss for sure. But I think that you came to the right place, bc we here are either where u are, or on our way to where we deserve to be, and that's healthy and happy, Lord willing. From Reading your posts, I've gathered that ur here for support, not to be convinced to have weight loss surgery, which is a gr8 thing, bc it is a personal choice, bc only you know what uve been threw, what diets uve tried but didn't work for u, and only u can make this decision. One good thing about this forum of people is that we are here to support whatever choice u make, tell u of our own experiences, and guide u along as u ask questions. As for my journey, started bck in May last yr. I found this site, and nvr looked bck or regretted my decision to have the sleeve, I was rdy for it, and anxious! I read about different outcomes, the good, bad and ugly ad I Thank God for those people who shared. There is more good than bad, but keep in mind, all surgeries are risky. Idk if uve met w a bariatric doc yet, but its the best place to start so that u can get the one on one info as well as the group meeting that they require u go to so that ur questions can be answered by the professionals. Some people get approved right away for insurance to pay, some have a pre diet they want u to do, nd like me, military pay, it doesn't take long, but for government reasons, mine didn't happen until 12/30/13. But I say it was bc God didn't feel it was my turn, and in hind sight, I believe it to b true. I got sleeved less than a week ago. I do not regret it. I had to have a hernia repaired as well, which he warned me of bc most overweight people can get hernia's n not know it until doc goes in. The ugly, I am a rare case he said, but I had esophageal spasms that kept me in for 4 additional days, but like I Said, rare. The good, I got out Tuesday, I'm doing great, no pain from surgery, no need for postop pain meds and I'm here to tell you about it. One last thing, up until the day u have the surgery, u can change ur mind. This is your journey and we are here to guide u along, encourage u, help u as needed and learn from you too. As for Paul, he sounds like a gr8 encouraging man. U didn't say if uve told him so if ur serious about this step, let him know ur thots now, be honest, and find out all the info u can about it so that u both will feel at ease. But regardless, it is your life. I pray that he will support ur choices bc havn som1 there to support u makes it easier but evn if not, its still doable and u can b successful. Idk if what I've said helped you, But I pray that u find peace in ur decisions and know that we are alwayyyys here, u post it, som1 will find it. And on occasion, even the sites developers and administrators will chime in: Alex and Susan. So God bless and look forward to being in ur corner. Dee Dee

P.s. u may have postponed ur dream to b a fitness instructor, ur 27, u have time to change ur mind, heck we are women, its our birth right . Som1 needs u out there, so don't give up:)

Edited January 10, 2014 by DeezJeanz

[DLCoggin 1,788]

Welcome to the forum delicateorchid! Loved reading your post - honest and sincere. You'll find lots of honest and sincere folks here and we're all here to share our journeys and learn from yours. You're gonna love the new you!!

[delicateorchid 0]

Thank you all so much for your kindness and words of inspiration.

I have had a rough couple of months and have not been online as a result. My partner and I hit a rough patch but he is still standing by me. I think I was being too tough on myself and as a result, Paul was in the firing line. All is well between us again thankfully and now it's time to buckle down and try and get my life back on track.

I sent my application to a website that offers completely free advice regardless of who I end up chosing to book with. They seem very customer care focused which so far I like.

I also like the fact that the surgeon is regarded as one of the top leading experts worldwide. This is my body and my health and I want to be absolutely sure that I will be in the safest hands possible.

[SandyM 1,956]

Angela, in reading your post, with the limited information you give, I'm not really sure WLS is your next step. Sounds like you have the right tools and are just not using them. I believe if it were me, Id try that route first. Get with Paul and make him your personal trainer. Try to regain control of your eating habits and see if this works for you. As for the asthma, I've had it for years and refuse to let it stop me. I hit the gym 5 to 6 days a week. I went through basic training in the Army. Its easy to make excuses, but that's not good. Push your body to its limits. You'll need to do this after weight loss anyway, so might as well try it prior to WLS. Looking back now, I made a lot of excuses and that got me to the point that believed WLS was the only option. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the results. Just not sure that I couldn't and shouldn't have tried harder on my own. These are just suggestions, and I'm not always right.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

if you have not tried counseling, please do! it seems you are experiencing a grief reaction and really need help with that. if you can gain some understanding of why you are using food to cope right now, you may be able to let go of your unhealthy eating habits and move on. good luck!