Story Of An Emotionally Battered Fat Girl

[jdmama911 224]

Ok, I opened up a little this morning...and it got me to thinking I need to fully tell my story. It will be good for retrospect later on.

I was adopted at only a few days old to my adoptive parents. At the age if 3 my dad left my mom and I became the product of divorced parents. We split our time with parents 50/50 until the age of 6 when my mom picked up and moved 2 hours away from my dad. At that point we only saw our dad every other weekend/holidays. That was rough as a child. Any club or sport I was in was disrupted because I had to go to my dads for the weekend.

I stayed active as a child. I was involved in ballet, soccer, swim team, and lots of active activities during recess or when I played. But, I had an eating disorder. From the way my mom talks, it may have started as early as 2. (She would catch me in the middle of the night eating straight sugar, would find boxes of Cereal, jars of honey hidden in my room etc.) food was the only thing I ever looked forward to though. I remember going to the YMCA and spending every dime I had at the vending machine, hiding the food, stuffing my face on the walk home, and throwing the wrappers in any trash can I could find on the way. I would eat as much as anyone would let me. At home though...I was ridiculed by most in my family for the volume and quality of food I ate (even when that was the food everyone else are). My sister and 1/2 brothers were all thin, I was the only fat person in my family which just added to my issues. Between that and the group of boys that relentlessly teased me every damned day of elementary school, I felt I had no where I belonged.

I did however have a solid group of friends until middle school. I started receiving anonymous letters in my locker from a boy (or so I thought.) It went on for a couple months. Finally he said he wanted to meet at the dance. Well, as you can guess it wasn't a boy, but a newer girl in our circle of friends. She thought it was hilarious that I was strung along. I remember my entire group of friends laughing at me and the new girl actually saying "You really thought a boy would like you?" I was devastated. That pretty much sent me into the next part of my life which involved drinking, smoking, drugs, and a lot of promiscuous activities. I eventually dropped out of school and started taking a pill called adderall. It was actually for people with ADHD, but it made balanced people hyper and...not hungry. I lost 90lbs. in 3 months. I then started taking Meth, until I shopper lot after found out I was pregnant. I immediately stopped all drugs. I gained 100 lbs. during my pregnancy. I had no idea if the father would stick around, if the baby would be ok due to my actions before I knew I was Preggers. I was scared to death.

Well, the dad stuck around and my son was as healthy (and still is) as could be. But, the dad and I stuck together for the sake of our son. Im simply not going to lie about that because that was the cause of me gaining another 80lbs. I was so unhappy. He hurt me by not commiting and I ate and ate and ate in secrecy to keep myself feeling ok. He wouldn't even act like my boyfriend (in public).

Then things changed one night (about 6 years ago) when I went to visit a friend. A drunk guy showed up when I was at my friends house and the guy randomly kissed me...and I kissed him back. I think it was just nice getting the attention. Anyway, I told Ken (my boyfriend). I think it woke him up. After that we started working on a real relationship. We got married a year later, and are happily still together today.

I have lost a lot of weight (70 lbs. and 90lbs.)twice through diet and exercise in the last 7 years, but both times gained it back immediately. I had a ravenous stomach and was almost starving constantly. I also had 2 years of constant health problems and 5 surgeries. I finally decided in January that I was too young (31) to start having hip and knee problems. I had surgery on 9/11 and have learned so much this year. Im down 44lbs. since surgery, and doing well with my emotional eating. I also stopped the secret eating. I eat everything out in the open now lol

Well, there is my story.

[McButterpants 2,846]

Wow - what a powerful story.

Good for you for taking control of your life and health. You were a success story before you started this journey and now look at you - more successes are heading your way.

I wish you continued success and send much love your way.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

[Nicolanz 1,484]

Wow! You have been through a lot! I had a dream the other night that I saw the young me. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her everything will be okay, trust in your strength. I didn't because I didn't want to scare her/me. It was such a powerful dream, don't you wish you could comfort the young you?

Hugs to you! I admire your strength to turn your life around. A lot of people don't take that opportunity. You should be very proud!

[Guest Sleeved&NotLovinIt]

For

[roundisashape 712]

Congratulations on your success, and on all the decisions you've made along the way to overcome the negative things that happened to you!

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

Congratulations for overcoming your past and not allowing it to control your future. It is a powerful story and I admire you for having the strength to put it out there for God and everyone to see. You have faced your demons and now you know how to fight them. Keep up the good work and I wish you love, success and happiness. Thank you for sharing.

[No game 14,436]

Jdmama911,

Thank you for sharing. You sound like a strong and brave woman and an awesome mom

I read your "partial" story this morning on our other thread... But I'm glad you opened up more and that I found it. You have great insight and at such an young age too!

I know you will succeed and go on to live a happy and healthy life for you and your family!

[jdmama911 224]

Thank you everyone for your support! Its nice to know people care. I can't wait to see what my new future holds.

[Arts137 1,811]

thank you for sharing, Mama...

[gamergirl 4,609]

I'm so lost on the new site I just saw this post. It takes a lot of courage to admit these things even to ourselves. Congratulations! And wish you nothing but success.

[lanagirl 65]

Thanks for sharing, wishing you all the best

[woo woo 872]

Sharing like that takes real guts, you really are a strong woman! And getting stronger every day I'll bet!

Thanks for sharing with us...