Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[Haydee 2]

The unmotivation is not just happening in my weight loss it's also happening in the rest of my life. In my work, my housework, my relationship with juan, my spirituality. I just need a good kick in the pants. Or something. I too long for that girl that emerged right after banding. She was so gung ho and so motivated.

[Haydee 2]

I'm doing a women's retreat at church this weekend. I want to just immerse myself in positive energy and come out refreshed.

[Haydee 2]

And I also did not suffer in my childhood. I've really got no one to blame for getting so fat other than myself. My family was loving and strong. The only thing that I do notice is that we reward ourselves with food. Everything revolves around food. Every get together, every excursion has food involved. And only me and my two sisters are chunky, everyone else is thin.

[Daisalana 33]

Everyone in my family is overweight except my mom (who is now starting to get there). Candy/sweets/fast food were the normal way of life. These weren't treats or occasionally indulgences. My dad would keep those big bags of m&m's, LOTS of ice cream, Cookies, etc. in the house every day. Nothing was locked out of our hands, we had free access to whatever we wanted. So we ate candy, cookies, ice cream all the time. Then dad would bring fast food home for dinner.. every single night. Most of the time I had McDonald's for lunch also from age 4-10. I would be picked up from school and dad would get us Happy Meals, then take us to our Nanny's. My mom worked late hours at the hospital so she never cooked.

But the weird thing is.. after all 3 of us moved out of the house grown up, none of us kept up with that lifestyle. Like, I cook a lot. I don't keep sweets in the house all the time. Even when I did have some sweets in the house, I'd eat it all in one night, I didn't have it every single night. My bro is broke, so I rarely see him eat.. and when he does, he eats from this hippie place, that is all organic & healthy.. yet he is nearly 400lbs. So I don't know why we remained overweight?

[Teachlady 3]

My childhood was less than perfect. My parents were both deaf and they fought all the time. My mom was very smart and could have gone to college, but there was no money for that. She settled for my dad after knowing him a few months. She said to me many times later in her life that if she had to do it over again, she never would have married him. My dad was a 12 year old in a man's body and never grew past that. He was extremely prejudiced and greedy. Everything was about him. He never once said he loved me, though mom said it to me all the time. I really couldn't stand my dad until the last 3 years of his life. When it came time for me to take care of him, I saw another side of him which helped me to make peace with all the terrible feelings from the past. He never did say "I love you", but every day when I would leave his apartment after visiting, he would say "Be careful".

All my life I took great comfort in food.. still do. I love the feel of it and the taste of it. It doesn't even have to go down my throat. If I didn't swallow the stuff, I'd be fine!

The lapband has made my life so much more enjoyable. The energy, the clothes, the positive attitude about myself. It's all well worth the plateaus and speed bumps. If I don't lose another pound I know I have accomplished what I set out to do.. make myself healthier and happier. Anything else is , forgive the term... gravy.

I swore to myself as I got into my teen and college years, that if I ever married and had children, I would never treat them like I was treated.. and I never have. The Bobster is my lifesaver. I couldn't have asked for a sweeter, kinder, gentler, smarter man. He has often said he doesn't understand how I turned out the way I did with the childhood I had. Having his parents as my in-laws was a blessing too. His dad was more of a dad to me than my own ever was, but he died way too soon and my youngest kids never got to see the special man he was. Daughter Kris had Bob's mom until Kris was 9. They watched Lucy and Golden Girls together and Kris still collects Lucy things and has Grandma's diamond in her wedding ring. They had a very special bond.

Oh my gosh.. have I written a book or what?? I better quit before I write a book to rival War and Peace!!! Thanks for letting me have some Purple Power therapy.

[Suziecat 379]

When I started looking into having the lap-band done, one of the things that the insurance company required was a pshyc-eval. Well I left there crying and cried for about 3 hours. After just being in her office for 30 minutes she told me that my problem was my parents and my religion. they were the downfall to me. I still to this day can not figure out how she figured that out. We hardly talked about my parents and never talked about my religion. I certainly don't remember my parents forcing me to drive thru and pick up a extra large value meal and cramming it down my throat. Or the 6 pack of tacos, the large pepperoni pizza, the Blizzards, the donuts. I don't remember them being there in my apartment shoving the bag of fritos in my mouth. Drinking the 2 2liter bottles of coke and the countless snicker bars and bags of m&m's. IT"S NOT MY PARENTS FAULT. I'm the one who made these choices and knew what I was getting into. Was I covering something up? No I wasn't abused as a child, I had 2 of the greatest parents you could ask for. I had a wonderful childhood and wouldn't trade it for nothing. Unfortunatly I never learned to tell myself NO. And the more weight I put on the worse it got. It was a guilty thing I threw at myself. I ate to feel better and cover up my lack of self-esteem. food was my boyfriend-my best friend- my confident. Now I'm in the fight for my life. I'm suffering the affects of all that now. But by making the decision to have the lap-band was huge for me and one I will never regret. Also coming here and meeting all of you and listening to all your stories has been a huge boost for me. All of you are a true inspiration to me and I thank God for leading me to you.

Ok, I woke up in a better mood today. We didn't go swimming so I waited till the guys got home and than I went to curves to work out. Hold on to your hats Ladies. They offered me a job, :wow2:, Can you believe it? I was so excited I tried not to grin to much. I start training next Monday and than I will actually start after the first of the year. I could hardly wait to get home to tell the hubby. It's only a couple of days a week, which is good for me and also I don't have to pay monthly dues anymore. HUGE. I like that part. I was so energized by it I came home and tore into my house cleaning like crazy. Hubby is like "what is with you?". Too excited.

Off to go take a shower and than meet my friend Judy for lunch.

You all have a great day and talk to you later.

[Haydee 2]

Judy, that's what we're here for. To listen, to vent, to purge ourselves and our thoughts and feelings. So thankful for finding a group of supportive women like you on this site. This is my first ever forum and I hit the jackpot on my first try!

[mdrai 3]

I do, too!

Great news! (well, for me, anyway...) We're going to Disney!! I've been planning to go in January, but for many reasons that did not work out... so then the other option was next October, but for many reasons that won't work, either... so I was in a real funk, because I need my Disney fix -- it's been more than a year now since we were last there... so... I thought & I thought (no, it didn't hurt! ) ... and came up w/a solution!

While DH is in Mexico on his photojournalism expedition in February, the kids & I are going to the World for a long weekend! They have a day off school, so will miss just 1 day... so 4 days of fun in Fla in Feb! And THE BEST part is that I'm going to (try to) keep it a secret! (I'm not known for being able to do that very well, however...) I'm not going to tell the kids that we're going... they'll come home from school that Fri & I'll have everything packed & hiding in the back of the car & I'll say we have to run errands or something & I'll drive us to the airport & we'll go! I think that would be so cool if I can pull that off, so I'm motivated not to spill the beans!

Just knowing that I have this secret plan is making me absurdly happy! Having a bad day? -- I'll think about the trip & get happy! That's why I love that place! All the cares of the world disappear and it's just family fun & togetherness. I'm such a sap for it!! But I love it!

Besides that (my I'm chatty today!)... the scale was FINALLY down today!! New low: 251.8! -65 FINALLY! Phew! Tomorrow is my 6 mo. band-iversary so I'll update my ticker then... worked out HARD today at class... my mantra was "249! 249!"... that'll keep me "good" for awhile!! (Then it'll be 247... then the ultimate: 242 (-75) by 12/31/07. It's good to have goals!)

After this month of actually GAINING... it's good to be back to the LOSING side of things... even if it's just a lb or 2 for the month.

I'm sitting here in my wet bathing suit & wet sweatsuit from the Y & it's freezing... time to hit a hot shower!

Make it a great day, Vi's!

[janiebug 0]

Well I have to be at work in 45 minutes and still haven't showered or anything, I am sooo late!! I did a quick run through of the posts interesting!!!

Terry what is that sinus stuff you were talking about? My nose has been running for about a week now, and I want it to STOP!!

Have a good day!

Jane

[mdrai 3]

Whoops -- I must've missed this page of posts or something... sorry!! Here I am all giddy & happy & everyone else is contemplative. Sorry!!

Here's my .02 on the topic du jour...

Everybody has a life. Everybody has a story. Everybody has SOMEthing that happened to them or whatever. Yours might seem "worse" than mine, or vice versa, but whatever our "stuff" is, it's ours, & that's just life.

I don't believe in "blaming" my parents... I could definitely blame my Dad, trust me, but I decided to learn what NOT to do from him, rather than blame him. As a parent, I know how hard it is & while I'm doing my absolute best, I'm sure I've let my kids down somehow that I don't even realize & as we often joke in our family: "That'll come up in therapy!" meaning... in the future, one of the kids will complain/blame us (parents) for something: never eating fast food/always eating it; having to go to bed @ 8:30; whatever!! There's always something. It's a no-win job. We just do our best.

So having "issues" or whatever is just part of life. We all have them. So the difference becomes what we do with them. Everyone has the choice to be positive or negative. Take a bad situation & make it better or wallow in it. Be the victim or the victor. It's all a choice. Now, life is a process, so maybe we're in a moment in our lives where we're not making good choices... if it bugs you, then change it! Like we all did w/our weight & the band!!

I'm definitely an over-the-top optimist most of the time... grateful for this amazing world & life & wanting to live it to the fullest... I think that love & personal relationships are the most important things in life... I look for (& usually find) joy in the most simple, daily activities and moments... why not? That's what life is mostly made of. (That's why I really hate it when I'm in a pissy mood, I feel like I'm wasting my time!)

My .02...

[Daisalana 33]

Michelle- That's great! I'm the same way about Disney World (or Six Flags). It's all magical and I feel all in love and family-like hehe. Glad to know another adult that gets all giddy about it like I do!

[Suziecat 379]

Michelle, I couldn't have said it better myself . You hit it right on the nose.

I'm responsible for who I am and what I will be. I'm in charge. So I'm gonna pull my boot straps up and kick myself in the fanny and get on with my "losing" life. (TeeHee.)

We will all get thru this funk that's going on and will be back to losing again. We are all in this together.

As far as the runny nose thing going on. I finally after taking 2 sudafed decided to take a benedryl. That worked for awhile and than I took another one. My nose was running like the mississippi. Finally got it to dry up. Drove me wacky. Now I'm putting neosprine on my nose because of all the wiping. It turned beet red.

[TracyinKS 7]

WOW.. what a great bunch of posts.. (Judy, yours made me teary) Michelle, yours made me laugh!

Suzie: CONGRATS ON THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!

Ok.. gotta get back to work...

Ohhhhhhhhhh my restriction is back........ only half of my oatmeal went down... YEAH! This is the way I LIKE my restriction.

[Haydee 2]

Tracy i'm jealous of your restriction. I'm gonna have to suck it up and go get another fill.

Someone posted this question on the food Thread and they didn't get a responce. I always wanted to ask it but feared that I would get mocked and ridiculed for asking such a stupid question. They're brutal out there! So, in my safe little place here I will ask it:

"The band is at the bottom of our esophagus, so why does certain foods hurt doing down? I could be wrong, but I think we now have two restrictions, the band and the length of our esophagus"

That was the question posed by another person. But I've always wondered the same thing. Some foods "hurt" going down my esophagus. But my esophagus is the same as it's always been. Why did after banding things start to hurt?

[mdrai 3]

Good question, Chica! I don't have an answer, tho... anyone else??