*The following is a personal journey that I need to share with someone...somewhere. So many of us have NOT experienced a picture perfect success. My hope is that through this thread, I might have the opportunity to acknowledge where I'm truly at, and perhaps you will identify with it. This is not a challenge, and no prize patrol will follow. It is simply one more humble food addict willing to once again, and with all of my might, DRAW A LINE IN THE SAND...and pray for transformation. If that resonates with you...read on, friends.

I have read so many inspiring stories, seen many beautiful metamorphasis pictures, and witnessed great moments in positive support on this board. In recent history, however...I have avoided even visiting the site at all. Matter of fact....I avoided dieting, I've avoided mirrors, I've avoided the gym...and I've avoided the warning signs that my body has changed.

...See, I've seen many success stories, but I have not been one. Last year I lost my mother to breast cancer. I allowed that be my excuse for not focusing on my body's needs. This fall I started my master's classes and allowed that and my 2 jobs to be the reason that I stopped putting forth effort. Now, we have enjoyed every moment of welcoming a brand new baby girl into our home...and that has been the catalyst to me ignoring all the rules instilled in me when I started this band. Drinking while eating, snacking between meals, eating the wrong food, eating late...basically all the things I did before surgery to be fat...except I had somehow subconcieously figured out a way to "beat" the machine. And so, after a few years of holding off a mere 45 lbs. since surgery....I have crept back to within 7 pounds of my surgery weight. I have proven to be a complete and utter band failure.

That is...until today.

Today is the day I start again. Today, for the sake of my health, for the preservation of my family, and for the fulfillment of my desires....I am praying for God's strength to be a new physical creation again. I know exactly what to do. I know what I have not been doing. They say that it takes an average of 21 days to successfully create new habit. For the next 21 days I'm going to create many new habits...and reintroduce some old ones.

I'm going to measure my food...and be honest about that measurement. I'm going to stop eating between meals.

I'm going to stop working at night early and sleep for 6 hours or more.

I'm going to exercise hard 3 days a week, and lightly 2 days.

I'm going to drink all the Water I'm supposed to.

I'm going to commit to making time daily to pray and focus myself.

I'm going to quit lying to myself and others about what I've done.

I'm going to pick myself up, brush myself off, and start over again.

And I AM going to win.

I certainly welcome you to comment if you have something to share, but I have no expectations of feedback. I plan to add something daily to this thread. If nobody but me reads it, It was still worth it.

It's time to be a good steward of the physical gifts I've been given. My heart is strong, my limbs are mighty. I hate being fat still, and yet there are people in this world that would give anything to be as healthy as I am. I will no longer take for granted my potential.

Wow...that whole thread looks like a speech from a motivational speaker, huh? Oh well...bring it on anyways!

So...I'm going to start with my weight loss at a zero today. Let's see if you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Thanks for listening. Go get 'em, gang!

Jon - SuperDaddy!

Hey Jon

How goes the battle?

I had my one yr check-up today. I have not exactly set the world on fire with my weightloss thus far - so I am in with you on the re-dedicating myself to the Banded Life.

My focus right now is exercise... The more, the better.

We can win this fight together. Don't hide if you slide... cause you just slide farther if nobody grabs your hand. Come here MORE when you are discouraged. It helps.

Hugs!!

Irene

I prayed for you today. Just stopping by to check in on the battle plan!

Jon, thank you for all your prayers. I am doing much better. I am down to 237.5 from 245. I am following my hunger patterns nicely and keeping filled during the day. I also omitted alcohol which is a bad one for me. I'm back on track! Keep up the prayers. They work.

SuperDaddy have an awesome weekend. I'm still praying for you and all the guys here.

SuperDaddy,

Isn't it funny how you posted out of a feeling of failure and have now become an inspiration?! Thank you for being brave and honest about your situation. My husband and I have both just begun our journey toward insurance approval and I am spending hours researching the successes and failures of people with the band. The successes seem so glamorous and the failures so familiar. Stay true to your God, your family and yourself and I believe He will provide you the desires of your heart.

With Joy!

Mary Beth

Superdaddy,

I have not yet had the surgery, but I go in for my Psych evaluation in the morning (I plan on telling her that I only listen to the voices when they have something interesting to say...smile) ANYWAY!!, as a fellow "Jesus Freak" I have been struggling with something, that perhaps you can help me with. I am struggling with whether I should have the surgery. On one hand, I am an intelligent, college educated woman who understands that God has given us all of these technological advances as tools to keep us healthy and well. The Lap-band is just a tool. But in the course of deciding to have the surgery, I have also been wondering if having the surgery won't hurt my Christian witness. As a food addict, I want to be able to testify one day that God healed me, that God removed my desire to overeat, that I've learned how to allow the Holy Spirit to comfort me( not Coloniel Sanders). And then....on the other hand...I am running out of time to deal with this problem. I too am somewhat of a new parent, (a 17month old), and need to get healthy NOW!! I have sleep apnea, high blood pressure, border-line diabetes,bad knees. I've stuggled with being overweight my entire life (since the age of 9) and I just cant afford to risk weighing what I weigh (245 @5'5) anymore. I know that I just said a mouthful...what are your thoughts(I'd also like to hear everybody elses thoughts...particularly MOUSECRAZY, since I too till be using Dr. Marsden if I have the surgery.

God Bless You, HannahsMama (and the rest of my awesome bandsters!)-

I kind of laughed that the day after I said I'd be writing on here daily...my computer crashed! So...my workstation is in the shop awaiting a part, and the back-up at my school gave me win't allow me to enter my log ins to anything. Nice, huh?!

Hannah was one of our names before we picked Ella for our daughter! I bet she is such a blessing! I appreciate you sharing your struggles here. I can tell that I struggled for some time about how this surgery would affect my witness. Why don't I just trust fully in God to strengthen me? But truly...why don't we trust Christ in all and for all? I was more concerned about how my witness would look if I got the surgery and the people around me didn't see it working....kind of like what's happened to me (until now!). I want you to know that this band is a part of who I am, but it does not define me. I am defined by my faith in Christ. I am defined by my salvation, by a saviour who loves me despite my faults...and who will allow me time and again to pick myself up and call upon him in need.

Speaking of need...boy, do I need Christ's strength in my life right now, friends! With all the meals and crazy newborn scheduling in my house...the effectiveness of this first week going "back to the starting line" was pretty dissapointing to say the least. I didn't overeat, but I also didn't eat every meal as healthy as I wanted. I still have food in the fridge that is junky from all the people that delivered meals with the baby. It's amazing how much this food has had power over me. Well...here in the Twin Cities it is 3am, and I am rocking an angel and typing with one hand (slowly)...but I am fired up for a week of getting my life together further. I have my schedule blocked out with a more diligent attempt at exercise. I have food prepared for tomorrow that will help me see that scale move. And I was once again reminded at church today that I cannot sell short the power of God in my life when I call upon him! Who am I to say I am not strong enough to succeed? I forget that I'm a child of the King, and he is faithful! I believe in the God of miracles that created heaven and earth...is it so hard to fathom that he can take my minor concerns of losing a few pounds this week and strengthen me with that? Of course not!

So let's go have a great week, everybody. Meet some goals and make something happen! My prayers are with you. I look forward to giving you a better report....and I'll even get that darn weight ticker back up on my signature this week. I want to see it ticking down again.

Grace and Peace-

Jon

Hello sisters and brothers. I agree with Jon and I'd like to add my humble opinion. I also struggled with the decision to be banded (and I'm not banded yet), and it seems like I've been facing obstacles with every step. Just last week I had to reschedule all of my appointments due to bad weather. And now, with my new appointments being tomorrow, we're supposed to get 8 MORE inches of snow tonight. I trust that God is in control of the timing, but I also have to resist the devil, who wants me to have doubts about this, and wants me to fail. Would Satan want me to have a healthy body so that I might serve the Lord with more energy, alertness, and passion? Absolutely not! I truly believe that God will honor us being in a healthier body as long as we draw closer in our relationship with Him.

Blessings to all of you today.

Thank your Super Daddy,

For your reminder and words of encouragement. And yes, Hannah Grace is a blessing. Particularly because she was born at 27 weeks. She only weighed 1 lb 14 ounces. By the grace of God she is perfectly healthy, loud... and currently a little smelly!The thought of not being here to see her grow up and give me grandchildren that I can spoil rotten and then send home is the driving force behind my decision. Thankfully my psych eval today was with a Dr. who is a Certified Christian Counselor, so I was able to address some of these spiritual concerns. She understood, and pretty much said the same thing you said. So.....I have decided to have the surgery...probably the first week in April.

P.S. You have been added to the top of my prayer list. Although I have not yet had the surgery, I TOTALLY understand the struggle with self as well as trying to balance taking care of myself with the demands of daily life and trying to take care of loved ones. My Pastor always reminds me, that the best way to take care of others sometimes, is to take care of myself.

Take care and may God Bless your heart and mind.

How was your week SD?

Thank you Jon! You are an inspiration. I have been away from LBT as well and now I'm back for similar reasons. I need the support. I want to say I appreciate your testimony and the way you shine for Him.

I am sorry to read about the loss of your mother. I trust she was saved. If so, you know you will be with her again soon. I feel in my heart the rapture is just around the corner. CONGRATS on baby Ella. Such a precious gift. I'm sure you get some exercise walking around with her in your arms. They are hard to put down at that young age.

Speaking of failure, I want to add something. As a Christian, it would be very easy for me to consider myself a failure since I have made many mistakes. I am choosing to think of it as growing instead. We all learn lessons and the Lord brings us closer to Him each time. That's the way it is with weight loss. Take baby steps and pray.....you are guaranteed to grow in your knowledge and success with weight loss.

BTW, add me to your prayer list and you have already been added to mine. There used to be a prayer request thread on LBT. I'll have to look that up and bump it.

Keep us updated and thank you again for giving voice to many of the challenges we all face. God Bless!

Hello Dustmouse, Paladin...and all!

This has proven to be a very interesting week. Our newborn angel has had tough time this week in the sleeping department, and in turn that has affected us. So I tried to stick with the diet with no sleep. I would say all in all it was a good start getting back on track. I have a new gym membershship and am commited to going (tomorrow morning I'll be there again). I also have a doctor's appointment less than two weeks (maybe a fill?). I will start posting some weight loss numbers this coming week. I had a goal number I wanted to get back to before I start that ticker again!

You know what is a make or break for me...and bet others here at LBT? My SPOUSE! My wife, who is now relatively well-healed from labor, has joined me in my pursuit toward better health. She's not doing this becuase she is particularly overweight, she is doing it because I need it, and she wants to be supportive. With her focusing on healthier choices, too, it makes it so much easier to plan meals, to make time for the gym, to think of long-term health solutions. Thanks for the help, wife!

It's going to be a great week, everybody! Let's all post some great losses in one week, deal? Choose just one or two goals and stick with it! My goals this week: To be consistent with my diet, and to meet my exercise gaols.

Blessings to you!

Jon

Well....I must not be the most brilliant guy online, because without somebody emailing me back I couldn't find my own thread...Whoops! Never looked under "subscriptions" before, Duh!

I've made some progress. It has been a slow start from my idealist February entry. I think I have found a "rythm" for now! I'm down now another handful of pounds. I'll try and get a ticker and weigh in this week. I just had a fill that I hope will give me the mental and physical boost to continue working through this recent hurdle. Also, I joined a gym that's closer and more affordable, both are requirements to me staying with it!

I also sat down and put together a game plan with a nutritionalist. So...I hope to take this running start and leap over me platuea. It was a big step for me to go back in there, admit that I'd failed and gained a little back, and admit that I have a food addiction and I can't beat without help.

We can't give up, folks. Can't can't can't

God, give us all an extra measure of strength, discipline, and peace. You are the great physician. Supply us all that we require to be a success for you in all that we do, including our victories over our dieting struggles.

Blessings to you all. I'll check back in soon....now that I've found myself :mad:

Jon

Good Luck SD!! You can do it!