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Surgery a week away, having second thoughts! Help...



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I think a lot of people have second thoughts, it's normal, having WLS is a huge personal decision. Some are fortunate to have an amazing support system, others come here and we give you all the support and help we can based on our own experiences. Honestly, I tried the six month doctor supervised diet three or four times before I finally said enough is enough. I have got to do this for me, I was tired of being tired, overweight and sitting on the sideline of my life. I had my surgery on July 24, 2013 and the morning after, I still questioned "what the heck have I done?!" Fast forward to today, two months later and WOW!! I'm 46 lbs lighter, my clothes are 1-2 sizes smaller, I'm off all my meds (I WAS a diabetic) and I feel better than I have in a long time. I have no regrets, except that I didn't do it sooner! I have had NO complications, didn't take the first drop of pain meds post surgery and love to brag about my accomplishments since surgery. As long as you listen to your doctor and nutritionist, you will do fine. I wish you the best!

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Surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday. And im thinkin of calling the surgeons office to cancel! Although ive been prepping for this day for 2 years now' date=' I am having second thoughts! Have I really tried hard enough? Do I really want to endure all of this? Do I want to risk having complications? I am perfectly fine now....I dont know what to do! Doesnt help that I have people repeating whats already in my head....wth![/quote']

Next Wednesday for me too! I think you are totally normal for feeling nervous... You have to do what's right for you. The few people that do know about mine are supportive, but have lots of skeptical questions. But I know in my heart what's right for me, I've saturated myself with information and support groups. Looking forward to the new journey that is ahead :)

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It's an intensely personal decision. I didn't tell my family or friends because it's not about them, it's about me. It's about me being better, feeling better and looking better. This will affect every aspect of my life and I'm damn well worth it. I don't know if I'll be one of the lucky ones who have little or no complications, but in the long run, anything I do for myself to live is worth it. I don't want to die and if I don't do this (for me), I'll either die from co-morbidities or wind up in and out of the hospital with one illness after another.

Bottom line - you have to decide what it is you want for your life. Not what your family or friends want for you. What's going to make you happy? Healthy? Confident? Content? This is all about you - no one else. It's not just about losing weight. That's my wooden nickels worth ;)

Take care and I hope you find peace whatever you choose to do.

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It's an intensely personal decision. I didn't tell my family or friends because it's not about them, it's about me. It's about me being better, feeling better and looking better. This will affect every aspect of my life and I'm damn well worth it. I don't know if I'll be one of the lucky ones who have little or no complications, but in the long run, anything I do for myself to live is worth it. I don't want to die and if I don't do this (for me), I'll either die from co-morbidities or wind up in and out of the hospital with one illness after another.

Bottom line - you have to decide what it is you want for your life. Not what your family or friends want for you. What's going to make you happy? Healthy? Confident? Content? This is all about you - no one else. It's not just about losing weight. That's my wooden nickels worth ;)

Take care and I hope you find peace whatever you choose to do.

Well said - couldn't agree more - There isn't a person alive that could either guilt or talk me out of it. I know that some opposition is borne out of concern and love but oh boy until they are in my skin they simply will not know what it's like. I told only one friend who I knew would not oppose it and of course my husband but no one else. Then there are the friends who are utterly clueless - I was out with a group of pals a couple of months ago - we all got chatting about weight as a few of them are pretty husky too so I put my two cents worth in and said how I couldn't find anything to wear for today because I'm so bloody fat, to which one of my friends replied loudly - "but you're happy though aren;t you" - I was mortified !! how on earth can this otherwise well educated woman actually think that I am happy like this ?? - good grief, nothing fits me, I ache all over, I'm miserable and yet this seems to have completely gone over her head so I can only imagine what her reaction would have been had I chosen to announce that I was having wls in Mexico soon !! - no I choose to keep it quiet. !!

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I canceled my RNY in sept 2009. I was totally terrified and had the worst feeling. Canceled the day b4. I did so well on the pre op I thought I could do it alone. I lost about 70 lbs through diet and exercise. I have gained 55 back since and just can't keep the weight from climbing. I have tried everything. Except this. I am ready! It is normal to be scared of the unknown but face it - life is unknown. You will do great. Focus on the positive!!

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

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      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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