Today I am...in pain :(

[gamergirl 4,609]

Well I guess the surgery doesn't solve all ills, but I really had hoped it had solved this one. I've been off my Rheumatoid Arthritis medications for 8 weeks and have had no pain whatsoever. I thought it was behind me, that my RA was food-related, and perhaps I had dodged a bullet.

Nope. The pain is back. My knees hurt, my thumb hurts (I know that sounds trivial but it's amazing how much we use our thumbs), I'm cold, and I'm easily tired.

So back to the meds with my self. Taking the meds would be bad enough, considering they're immunosuppressants. But with the meds dies this fantasy I had about being able to be strong, physical, active, and unconcerned about my hopefully-thin body giving out on me and working against me by hurting itself.

And that's the harder part of it for me. I want to love my body. I want to believe it is on "my side", working with me, not against me as it did when I struggled so hard to lose weight. Today, I'm finding it difficult to feel the love. I feel anger, disappointment, and a bit of hopelessness.

I realize that every breath I use to complain was a breath that was denied to many today. I realize that I should be grateful that my expected weight-loss will put less of a strain on my body. But I'm not there yet. I'm just angry, and I am sad, and I hurt.

And I need to get over it. So that's my work for today. To accept, and move on.

Thanks for listening to me. I'm trying not to make a habit of ranting, just been a rough couple of days, accepting that the RA is back.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Hugs, sweet girl. I hope you feel better soon.

[BellaItaliana 57]

I'm sorry that you're dealing with the RA coming back. I have been going through something similar, but not as bad... since my surgery one month and one day ago, I have not had one Migraine. For me this is sort of a miracle, b/c for years I've had pretty debilitating Migraines, usually several times a month (never less than 3 times, sometimes more). I even prepared myself by having my doctor prescribe me a migraine medicine that dissolves on your tongue, in case I couldn't swallow my pills anymore. You're actually the first person I've told about my migraine-free month, because I'm so scared to jinx it!! So, I get the disappointment. I do hope that your inevitable weight loss will bring some difference in your pain. In the meantime, try to stay positive. By the way, I really like your blog and look forward to the recipes you post!

[Blondiee 278]

Sending hugs and love your way.

[Gardengirl 66]

I am so sorry you are in pain. I'm hoping this flare up is just a one time thing, or a very rare thing for sure. Hope you are able to take it easy today. XOXO

[Indigo1991 1,612]

So, so sorry to hear this :-(((((( I recognise all the emotions and yes, you need to get over it and move on - but, as you tell others, cut yourself some slack today. You have every right to rage at the unfairness of it all. I could never explain to others my anger at my body constantly letting me down when it was in pain and for making me suffer, when I felt perfectly well otherwise.

But you and your body need to make up and hang together - it's the RA that's the villain, your body doesn't want it any more than you do. Be kind to yourself, this isn't your fault.

Then tomorrow, get back on the horse and focus on how well you are doing post sleeve in terms of your weight becuase long term, that will help the arthritis. I will keep everything crossed that it is a flare rather than anything more xxx

[Vickybli 64]

I suffer from RA too and i haven't seen any difference in the pain but i am a little less stiff so walking is easier but not stairs ans things like that. Actually last week i had an extremely painful attack of gout arthritis, which i never had before. My dr said that quick weight loss can bring it on. So much for not hurting. My sister and my best friend both suffer from RA as well and they've never been one pound overweight in their life. So i guess it's just not realistic to expect that it will go away just because we lose weight but i'm sure that it will be more manageable since we will take off some of the stress at least. I mean they hurt but they can still walk around and go about their chores. At 451lbs when i had an attack i could barely move around the house without help.

Talk to your dr about your exersice routine. Although working out is very good for you on many levels the wrong kind or the wrong intensity can be bad for your RA. I'm not allowed on the treadmill of the step master. My friend was told to stay away from the bikes.

Hope you feel better again soon. :wub:

[jenpez 113]

Gamer girl I am so sorry you are going through this, how disappointing for you. Lots of us are thinking of you and sending good wishes, me especially. Cheers, Jen.

[Sleeved in Seattle 280]

Hey sweetie - sorry to hear you're suffering. I have chronic back pain and was depressed when it came surging back after 6 or so weeks of freedom. It sucks.

I hope you're feeling better today and just for you I'll have another bite of my husband's palmier pastry.

[gamergirl 4,609]

Thank you guys very much for the support. I got back on the pills and suspect I will have to break down and take the shot today as well. Oh well. Can't have everything I guess. Really appreciate everyone who responded with messages of support. It meant a lot to me.

[deedadumble 1,033]

I was also hoping this surgery would magically fix all my body pain. I have Hashimotos, Fibromyalgia, and a few other autoimmune disorders. The other reason I wanted to lose weight was to keep my weight from being brought up as a reason for my pain. Doctors are so bad about saying if you lose weight you'll feel better. I have lost 78 pounds and I'm running 3 times a week, but still in pain.

I think I remember reading that you have hypothyroidism, but can't remember if it was Hashis? Many docs are now saying that 90% of patients with hypo do have Hashis. I've been doing an enormous amount of reading on it to try to find a solution to my issues. I have never gotten any relief for my thyroid symptoms from taking Synthroid and getting my TSH to the low end of normal. I am frustrated that I still have a tremendous amount of hair loss, cold hands/feet, dry skin, losing the outer part of my eyebrows, severe brain fog, lack of concentration, slow weight loss, etc. I've started going to an acupuncturist that specializes in guiding Hashimotos patients through bloodwork and supplements to help decrease symptoms. Although the acupuncture seems to help, he has said that my solution lies with western medicine, not eastern. He recommended the book "Stop the Thyroid Madness". There's also a pretty good Facebook group called Hashimotos 911. Based on my bloodwork, I am adding some T3 hormone, sublingual Vit D, slow release Iron, and magnesium.

Have you had your Vitamin D and Iron levels checked since your surgery? I have trouble absorbing Vit D from food and the prescription supplement that I take is not absorbing as well as it did before surgery. I have had to add some sublingual Vit D. The pain that I get is deep and aching. Since I've added the sublingual, I'm not in as much pain. My endo got me up to 35 on the Vit D levels (I was at 11!), but according to my research, I need to be above 80 to be at the optimal levels.

[GypsyQueen 198]

I was also hoping this surgery would magically fix all my body pain. I have Hashimotos' date=' Fibromyalgia, and a few other autoimmune disorders. The other reason I wanted to lose weight was to keep my weight from being brought up as a reason for my pain. Doctors are so bad about saying if you lose weight you'll feel better. I have lost 78 pounds and I'm running 3 times a week, but still in pain.

I think I remember reading that you have hypothyroidism, but can't remember if it was Hashis? Many docs are now saying that 90% of patients with hypo do have Hashis. I've been doing an enormous amount of reading on it to try to find a solution to my issues. I have never gotten any relief for my thyroid symptoms from taking Synthroid and getting my TSH to the low end of normal. I am frustrated that I still have a tremendous amount of hair loss, cold hands/feet, dry skin, losing the outer part of my eyebrows, severe brain fog, lack of concentration, slow weight loss, etc. I've started going to an acupuncturist that specializes in guiding Hashimotos patients through bloodwork and supplements to help decrease symptoms. Although the acupuncture seems to help, he has said that my solution lies with western medicine, not eastern. He recommended the book "Stop the Thyroid Madness". There's also a pretty good Facebook group called Hashimotos 911. Based on my bloodwork, I am adding some T3 hormone, sublingual Vit D, slow release Iron, and magnesium.

Have you had your Vitamin D and Iron levels checked since your surgery? I have trouble absorbing Vit D from food and the prescription supplement that I take is not absorbing as well as it did before surgery. I have had to add some sublingual Vit D. The pain that I get is deep and aching. Since I've added the sublingual, I'm not in as much pain. My endo got me up to 35 on the Vit D levels (I was at 11!), but according to my research, I need to be above 80 to be at the optimal levels.[/quote']

I had not heard of Hashimoto until coming on this site. I have been on Synthroid for 20+ years, so I asked my doctor to run tests to determine is this is what I had. It was a no, which was surprising. Hoping that would explain some of my other health issues.

[Trophy wife 11]

So sorry to hear about your pain. I have extreme fibromyalgia and have terrible pain and also hypothyroid. I'm hoping this will help my pain but not holding my breath either. Hang in there. I'm hoping your flare doesn't last long.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Sorry gamergirl......chin up. There will be better days. I have a good friend with RA. No, losing the weight didn't completely resolve all her RA struggles, but she's way more active, energetic and happy than she ever was before. So while the sleeve isn't going to give you a care free/pain free existence....it is going to improve. My advice....if you're not already doing it....start keeping a journal now of how you feel, especially your pain and energy levels. We all log our food but not many of us log our day to day wellness. A year from now, you'll be able to look back on that log and see a huge improvement.

[jenpez 113]

Sorry gamergirl......chin up. There will be better days. I have a good friend with RA. No' date=' losing the weight didn't completely resolve all her RA struggles, but she's way more active, energetic and happy than she ever was before. So while the sleeve isn't going to give you a care free/pain free existence....it is going to improve. My advice....if you're not already doing it....start keeping a journal now of how you feel, especially your pain and energy levels. We all log our food but not many of us log our day to day wellness. A year from now, you'll be able to look back on that log and see a huge improvement.[/quote']

This is such a good idea for lots of us with little and big niggles and problems. There is a little note part in MFP I have made a note of a few things, although I find MFP bulky to go back through.