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okay, now i'm just angry - psych eval failure1
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I had my initial psych eval about a month ago. Everyone kept saying that it was easy and not to worry, and I told myself that I'd be cool with whatever recommendations they make. I had an hour long clinical interview followed by several screening tests. Days before i was supposed to go back for my follow-up to see if i had been cleared for wls, I got a call that they wanted me to do even more testing. I had to take the 550+ questions on the mmpi.
I have had a life long history of low levels of depression and social anxiety, and I've been treated for it. Anyway, the tests came back and indicated that I do have clinical levels of depression and generalized anxiety, and so I am being referred to an actual psychiatrist for med changes and I have to go to therapy. She will not clear my for wls until I have been "stable" for at least 6 months. That's at least 6 months of counseling.
She read me my entire report which indicated that I don't binge eat, or have problems with emotional eating, that I've never been suicidal, that i have a good support system, that i understand the surgery and am doing it for health reasons and that i am an excellent candidate with a great chance of success...after i go to therapy for at least 6 months. At first I tried to just accept it and see the positives in the situation - it would be awesome to have whatever mental health issues i might have "under control," but I just feel angry now. *I* don't think my depression is that bad, nor that my social anxiety will have much of an impact on my weight loss.
Maybe I'm just scared because I don't think the depression and anxiety actually can be fixed? I've been in therapy 3 times before and for the most part it was a complete waste of time. I've been on more meds than just about anyone I know - and they've never really helped at all. i've never actually been much less depressed or anxious than I am now at this point in my life. I admit that I do have some level of depression and anxiety, but it's always proved very resistant to treatment....so now I feel like the chance for surgery is being taken away from me, and that no matter what I do to prove I'm committed to this- unless this depression and anxiety go away, it will never happen.
I'm still going to continue doing everything that my insurance company and the weight management institute are asking me to, but I feel like right now losing on my own, without the surgery as a tool, is my only choice - and I've been failing at that my whole life. At this point, I won't be able to have surgery until March at the earliest, and we were shooting for December before. I just keep thinking that my social anxiety is that I always worry that people are judging me for being fat, and my depression is mostly because I never feel physically well enough to do anything because I'm fat, and even though I've never thought that surgery would cure my emotional issues, my weight really is my biggest problem emotionally.
......so...has anyone else ever had to deal with this?