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It's crazy.. When I was at my heaviest I would day dream about the day that I would finally be "skinny". I would day dream about all sorts of crazy things.. Some miracle pill that I could take and within days loose all my weight. Perhaps just magically wake up and it would all be gone. Or I even day dreamed as far as thinking.. even if a virus took over me so I was so sick, then I would loose all my weight. I realize that it was all ridiculous. They were but simple dreams that I never thought I would have. Eating was a poison for me. A bad habit. And it's not even that I would gorge myself or eat a plethora of food items per day. It was what I ate. Because I loved the taste of certain foods. And I couldn't help myself. I lacked the motivation to do what I needed to do. Eating right was something that I was never good at. I would do good for awhile but then would fall right back into the same habits. And the progress was slow and the results were slow and that would always dampen my urge to be healthy. I continued to grow and grow and it was hard to comprehend at the time how large I had actually become. I knew that I was extremely over weight, but it really doesn't hit you until you have something to compare it to. I just assumed that I would always be heavy and that would just lead to always day dreaming about a "better" me. I would dream about what I would look like, how many more activities I would be able to participate in, the clothes I would be able to shop for, the athletic activities I could do with my kids... but to me, they were just pipe dreams.. something unobtainable.

It got to the point where I could hardly fit into a roller coaster. I remember going atop the stratosphere to hop on a ride. I don't remember the name, but it shoots you straight up into the sky, high above the city. When I sat on the ride, the harness that comes down over you, would not fit. I remember my ass having to try and squeeze into the seat. And I couldn't get the harness down. It was embarrassing and I had to be moved to the "fat" person chair. Even as I am writing this I feel ashamed and horrified that I could possibly let myself get that far. It was difficult moving around and keeping up with my active family. I never wanted to do anything. That meant I was going to be hot, sweaty and miserable. I was depressed, I hated what I had let myself become. I felt as if I had no self worth and was just disgusted at my body.

Now I can say that I am extremely happy with myself. It has definitely been a long road and journey and continues to be so. I still have to make the right eating choices and exercise. I can happily say that yesterday was the first time I have ran since being.. well I don't even remember the last time I ran. But it truly was amazing. I was able to do it and go for awhile until I started to breath a little bit more heavily, but I was able to continue still! And it felt great after, I am excited and happy and can't wait for even more results.

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OMG.. Reading your story was like having my own thought said aloud. I have had all those silly daydream about waking up skinny or taking a magic pill. Crazy! I am pre-sleeve and your story is so inspirational. Thank you for sharing!

Cheers to a healthy future with your family!

Sheena :-)

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Irish!! I remember you (fellow November girl) Look at that after picture! You look awesome girl!

Congrats on all the hard work you've put in,

It's obviously paying off :)

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Thank you for sharing your story. I can really identify with it.

You are an inspiration and you look great!

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Wow you look amazing,and your story hits close to home. We can all dream but when we see our dreams and goals come true it makes you want to do more. You are on the right track.

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Love your story, thanks for sharing, and you look amazing ;-)

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Wow..I couldn't have written this any better! Going to the seminar on weds and getting weighed ...starting this process is going to be hard but living like this I think is even harder!! You rock and look amazing!!! Congrats!!!

Just starting my journey to a new me! sent from my iPad

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Amazing! Do you mind if I ask what your before/current stats are??

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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