Please stop and do the math.

People get completely freaked out by what I feel are unreasonable expectations. They fly into a panic. They assume that the first time they don't lose on the scale that their loss is done. They think that two weeks at one weight is a massive stall. They look at other people's large losses and forget that we don't all lose at the same rate.

First - if you did a pre-op diet you are not going to have the same loss your first month as someone who didn't do one. Your pre-op loss should get counted into your loss calculation if you did a pre-op diet.

Second - a stall is three weeks or more at the same weight with no fluctuation. Are you panicked after that? Well, my friend coops once spent twenty one MONTHS at the same weight. She finally broke through and never regained during that time, and even lost two sizes while not budging on the scale. Is it the miracle cure you may have been hoping for on the scale? No. But stalls are not the end of the world. They are certainly more normal that flying to goal in six weeks, I promise you.

Third - losing anything more than a pound a week is good. Are you eating less than ever before? Yes. Does that guarantee you'll lose faster than ever before? No. I had two nine week stalls - no movement except upwards for my monthly cycle. I had months where I lost but only in the tenths of a pound. It's not normal to expect a big loss every time you step on the scale. It's setting yourself up for disappointment.

Fourth - your pattern is your pattern. You can compare yourself to other people sleeved the same day or with the same stats but it doesn't matter. So much of this is individual. So if you're constantly seeking out other people and comparing your losses to theirs, you are eventually going to discourage and frustrate yourself.

Fifth - are you closing in on goal? We all lose even more slowly the less weight we have to lose. So if you only have sixty pounds to lose but shed thirty in your first three months, please don't be hysterical because you're "only" losing a pound a week now that you're past the halfway point. It's normal.

Stop. Breathe. Do the math. Adjust your expectations. This is not a race. You do not get a special award for reaching goal more quickly. Your surgery was not pointless or worthless if you manage to get to goal in two years instead of six months. The real goal is not losing the weight. It's keeping the weight off. That's real success - that's what we're here to do. It does not matter if you hit goal in nine months or two years - the real challenge and the real journey begins with maintenance. How quickly or slowly you lost does nothing to change the challenges you'll encounter there.

I am not ranting at anyone in particular. I just feel that this is an issue that comes up constantly and it's actually pretty silly for people to fly into such a panic without really thinking. I've seen folks upset when they're logging losses of upwards of four pounds a week. Point to the diet that helped you accomplish that and was easy to maintain prior to surgery.

~Cheri

What I find ironic is how many sleevers like to complain when someone calls WLS the "easy way out"' date=' but then get upset that it isn't just that. Guess what? Your weight will always be a struggle--FOR LIFE!! The pounds won't fall off in a week, and when they're gone it still requires hard work to keep them gone.[/quote']

That's what's up

What I find ironic is how many sleevers like to complain when someone calls WLS the "easy way out", but then get upset that it isn't just that. Guess what? Your weight will always be a struggle--FOR LIFE!! The pounds won't fall off in a week, and when they're gone it still requires hard work to keep them gone.

I'm just wanting to explore this a little more. Do you really feel that you will struggle with your weight FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?? I think I know where you are coming from with this, but I think it's just the word "struggle" that caught my attention. I will take care of myself & love myself for the rest of my life, but there is no way I will "struggle" with my weight for the rest of my life. The struggle is ending & the coast is beginning. I claim victory & freedom from the years of bondage that have held me in a place where I've struggled with my weight. There will be a day that I will no longer struggle but I will reach back & help others who will & are struggling just like I once was. THis is in no way a means to start a blown out discussion....just my perspective.

Great post!!

I'm just wanting to explore this a little more. Do you really feel that you will struggle with your weight FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?? I think I know where you are coming from with this' date=' but I think it's just the word "struggle" that caught my attention. I will take care of myself & love myself for the rest of my life, but there is no way I will "struggle" with my weight for the rest of my life. The struggle is ending & the coast is beginning. I claim victory & freedom from the years of bondage that have held me in a place where I've struggled with my weight. There will be a day that I will no longer struggle but I will reach back & help others who will & are struggling just like I once was. THis is in no way a means to start a blown out discussion....just my perspective.[/quote']

Struggle was probably the wrong word. I mean I will always need to remain cognizant of my food choices and never become complacent. The sleeve isn't the be all to end all--weight can creep back on. That's what I meant.

I agree with the clarification HatheryOHW posted above. It's not a struggle, in that it's a constant up and down battle. But it is most assuredly something you will not get to forget and just pretend never happened. We will always be people that gain weight more easily. We will always have to remain vigilant because the disordered eating and poor habits can easily sneak back up on us if we get complacent in maintenance. Just because you KNOW the right way to eat doesn't mean you'll always do it. Our relationships with food, for the most part, are different than the ones that people who have never been obese have. There are emotional ties and triggers that don't simply vanish due to surgery.

I can say that despite what I thought going in to surgery, I now realize that nobody has a perfectly easy time in maintenance without any effort. You still have to keep yourself accountable somehow. You don't just take a year of eating properly and turn that into the ability to forget about food and just live life - it doesn't work. And you'll see that the farther out you get the easier it gets to slip and worse, the harder it gets to lose once you do slip. The longer I do this, the more I realize I had no idea what I was really going to face.

So in the end, the sleeve is this first big step and it's a tremendous help. I couldn't have done this without it. But I stress again (for the bazillionth time) that the real challenge isn't getting to goal - it's staying there.

~Cheri

It is not just the loss of weight that is the goal...But how you feel...Do you feel better with some weight off? Are you able to do more things? Are you sleeping better and happier with your life in general?

These are amazing goals and worth it all in my books.....No other diet or program has ever given me this much energy or spunk.....If it takes me 2 years..FINE..that is the way it is..Took me almost 3 decades to get as big as I was..Through every diet I could think of....

Now for the first time I know I am succeeding. I look at things differently now.....There is no panic....I use my tool and my body will respond!

Great points as well, not to mention the comorbs that are either decreased or eliminated bc of the wls. I think people start to get more vain when they see the new them, not saying its a bad thing, but it takes their focus off of why the surgery was done in the first place, that is for most of us, to gain better health first, increase our life, nd look good in the process:) gla

Please stop and do the math.

People get completely freaked out by what I feel are unreasonable expectations. They fly into a panic. They assume that the first time they don't lose on the scale that their loss is done. They think that two weeks at one weight is a massive stall. They look at other people's large losses and forget that we don't all lose at the same rate.

First - if you did a pre-op diet you are not going to have the same loss your first month as someone who didn't do one. Your pre-op loss should get counted into your loss calculation if you did a pre-op diet.

Second - a stall is three weeks or more at the same weight with no fluctuation. Are you panicked after that? Well' date=' my friend coops once spent twenty one MONTHS at the same weight. She finally broke through and never regained during that time, and even lost two sizes while not budging on the scale. Is it the miracle cure you may have been hoping for on the scale? No. But stalls are not the end of the world. They are certainly more normal that flying to goal in six weeks, I promise you.

Third - losing anything more than a pound a week is good. Are you eating less than ever before? Yes. Does that guarantee you'll lose faster than ever before? No. I had two nine week stalls - no movement except upwards for my monthly cycle. I had months where I lost but only in the tenths of a pound. It's not normal to expect a big loss every time you step on the scale. It's setting yourself up for disappointment.

Fourth - your pattern is your pattern. You can compare yourself to other people sleeved the same day or with the same stats but it doesn't matter. So much of this is individual. So if you're constantly seeking out other people and comparing your losses to theirs, you are eventually going to discourage and frustrate yourself.

Fifth - are you closing in on goal? We all lose even more slowly the less weight we have to lose. So if you only have sixty pounds to lose but shed thirty in your first three months, please don't be hysterical because you're "only" losing a pound a week now that you're past the halfway point. It's normal.

Stop. Breathe. Do the math. Adjust your expectations. This is not a race. You do not get a special award for reaching goal more quickly. Your surgery was not pointless or worthless if you manage to get to goal in two years instead of six months. The real goal is not losing the weight. It's keeping the weight off. That's real success - that's what we're here to do. It does not matter if you hit goal in nine months or two years - the real challenge and the real journey begins with maintenance. How quickly or slowly you lost does nothing to change the challenges you'll encounter there.

I am not ranting at anyone in particular. I just feel that this is an issue that comes up constantly and it's actually pretty silly for people to fly into such a panic without really thinking. I've seen folks upset when they're logging losses of upwards of four pounds a week. Point to the diet that helped you accomplish that and was easy to maintain prior to surgery.

~Cheri[/quote']

I Tysm for posting this so eloquently. I've wanted to but figured that some wud just argue bc I am presleeved. I've posted b4 agreeing w a valid rant and b4 I clicked send good, Omgawsh, out came the trolls, I ended up blocking two people,I to this day, have nooooo idea who they are nd y they got that bent out of shape over an opinion! Thx Clk:))

Thanks for the great advise! Much needed and appreciated by me!

I went to a wls support group meeting last night and got bummed out because a lady who was sleeved 2 weeks before me was already down 68 lbs. Reading your post helped me get my head back in the right place. The key to losing and keeping it off is learning and adopting proven habits and strategies that will help me lose today and maintain forever.

This is a great post. I really dislike the term "slow loser." It just seems so negative to me. I hope that I won't struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. One thing I like about the eating plan that my surgeon and NUT have advised is healthy eating once the dietary restrictions from healing were removed. I don't count carbs. I eat balanced with focus of course on Protein and then veggies/fruits. The idea is not to be at goal as fast as possible, it's to establish my lifetime healthy eating habits. So if my goal takes 9 months, 12 months or 24 months it will happen. In addition, I won't be at THAT point learning how to eat for the rest of my life I will have all that time under my belt and should be habit by then.

We live in such an instant gratification society these days. I too, want it yesterday, but with this, if there is one thing I am learning, its patience. Comparing my loss to others is futile and chances are, I will come out on the short end the comparison stick. Why go there?

I just spent almost 6 weeks hovering with the scale teasing and taunting me of the magic number to overweight land with obese land in the rear view mirror. Down 3, up 2, down 2, up 3. It was brutal but I know if I hung in there it would happen. Finally, 3 days in a row now with the scale under 163. I am ready to officially claim the fact that I am no longer obese.

Good luck everyone, let's enjoy the journey a much as we can to a healthy life!

This is a great post. I really dislike the term "slow loser." It just seems so negative to me. I hope that I won't struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. One thing I like about the eating plan that my surgeon and NUT have advised is healthy eating once the dietary restrictions from healing were removed. I don't count carbs. I eat balanced with focus of course on Protein and then veggies/fruits. The idea is not to be at goal as fast as possible' date=' it's to establish my lifetime healthy eating habits. So if my goal takes 9 months, 12 months or 24 months it will happen. In addition, I won't be at THAT point learning how to eat for the rest of my life I will have all that time under my belt and should be habit by then.

We live in such an instant gratification society these days. I too, want it yesterday, but with this, if there is one thing I am learning, its patience. Comparing my loss to others is futile and chances are, I will come out on the short end the comparison stick. Why go there?

I just spent almost 6 weeks hovering with the scale teasing and taunting me of the magic number to overweight land with obese land in the rear view mirror. Down 3, up 2, down 2, up 3. It was brutal but I know if I hung in there it would happen. Finally, 3 days in a row now with the scale under 163. I am ready to officially claim the fact that I am no longer obese.

Good luck everyone, let's enjoy the journey a much as we can to a healthy life! [/quote']

Awesome! That is great insight.

I am a loser - and for the first time in my life I am delighted to be one! Speed of loss and stalls are irrelevant to me, as my weight drops, I don't intend to see these numbers again! Took me 30 years to put on weight, will take as long as it takes to come off. Stick with it OP, u r on the right road :-)

Well, if not struggle, at least mindful. We need to Think about food and activity, where some don't have to. But then, who said life is fair?

Struggle was probably the wrong word. I mean I will always need to remain cognizant of my food choices and never become complacent. The sleeve isn't the be all to end all--weight can creep back on. That's what I meant.

It's been a while since I've been able to get caught up on here, so sorry for late reply. I totally understand what you mean now. I agree. Same here. :-)

Please stop and do the math.

People get completely freaked out by what I feel are unreasonable expectations. They fly into a panic. They assume that the first time they don't lose on the scale that their loss is done. They think that two weeks at one weight is a massive stall. They look at other people's large losses and forget that we don't all lose at the same rate.

First - if you did a pre-op diet you are not going to have the same loss your first month as someone who didn't do one. Your pre-op loss should get counted into your loss calculation if you did a pre-op diet.

Second - a stall is three weeks or more at the same weight with no fluctuation. Are you panicked after that? Well' date=' my friend coops once spent twenty one MONTHS at the same weight. She finally broke through and never regained during that time, and even lost two sizes while not budging on the scale. Is it the miracle cure you may have been hoping for on the scale? No. But stalls are not the end of the world. They are certainly more normal that flying to goal in six weeks, I promise you.

Third - losing anything more than a pound a week is good. Are you eating less than ever before? Yes. Does that guarantee you'll lose faster than ever before? No. I had two nine week stalls - no movement except upwards for my monthly cycle. I had months where I lost but only in the tenths of a pound. It's not normal to expect a big loss every time you step on the scale. It's setting yourself up for disappointment.

Fourth - your pattern is your pattern. You can compare yourself to other people sleeved the same day or with the same stats but it doesn't matter. So much of this is individual. So if you're constantly seeking out other people and comparing your losses to theirs, you are eventually going to discourage and frustrate yourself.

Fifth - are you closing in on goal? We all lose even more slowly the less weight we have to lose. So if you only have sixty pounds to lose but shed thirty in your first three months, please don't be hysterical because you're "only" losing a pound a week now that you're past the halfway point. It's normal.

Stop. Breathe. Do the math. Adjust your expectations. This is not a race. You do not get a special award for reaching goal more quickly. Your surgery was not pointless or worthless if you manage to get to goal in two years instead of six months. The real goal is not losing the weight. It's keeping the weight off. That's real success - that's what we're here to do. It does not matter if you hit goal in nine months or two years - the real challenge and the real journey begins with maintenance. How quickly or slowly you lost does nothing to change the challenges you'll encounter there.

I am not ranting at anyone in particular. I just feel that this is an issue that comes up constantly and it's actually pretty silly for people to fly into such a panic without really thinking. I've seen folks upset when they're logging losses of upwards of four pounds a week. Point to the diet that helped you accomplish that and was easy to maintain prior to surgery.

~Cheri[/quote']

Great, great post!!