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I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is, and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.

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I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is' date=' and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.[/quote']

I could have wrote this. I know exactly how you feel. I dread visits back home, but glad we live so far away from all of it.

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This all made me laugh until people took it too seriously. yeah yeah yeah don't be hypocritical and all that and don't treat "them" in a way "we don't want to be treated, but the whole serious discourse in this thread pissed me right off. The skinny biatches are not discriminated against every single fricken day in the media and all over. it's not equal or the same on either side of this argument nor is it even within the argument. Someone said on here that they carried their extra weight for 3 years, well this has been a struggle my whole life...not three years. I don't know what it is to be a healthy weight. My mom started me binge/starvation dieting when I was 8. So yeah, when I hear someone who's NEVER walked this path complain, it makes me want to taser them.

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This all made me laugh until people took it too seriously. yeah yeah yeah don't be hypocritical and all that and don't treat "them" in a way "we don't want to be treated' date=' but the whole serious discourse in this thread pissed me right off. The skinny biatches are not discriminated against every single fricken day in the media and all over. it's not equal or the same on either side of this argument nor is it even within the argument. Someone said on here that they carried their extra weight for 3 years, well this has been a struggle my whole life...not three years. I don't know what it is to be a healthy weight. My mom started me binge/starvation dieting when I was 8. So yeah, when I hear someone who's NEVER walked this path complain, it makes me want to taser them.[/quote']

Ditto!

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Is it ok to say "lighten up" on a weight loss forum? Lol

I think it's more than appropriate ;)

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I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is, and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.

I could talk about my own weight (as a larger girl) around women bigger than me and it never once occurred to me that I was talking about anyone but ME. I can see how easy this would be for someone to do if they're focused on themselves.

I always held myself to a higher standard than anyone else. Bitching about my own weight at 250 pounds had nothing to do with how I felt about my friends that were larger.

It's a shame that in our society women bond and find common ground in tearing themselves (and sometimes others) down - that we bond by lamenting muffin tops and jiggly thighs and the fact that our boobs aren't as fabulous as we'd like them to be.

My body image issues started at age nine - well before I was a fat girl. In fact, they started back when I was the shortest and skinniest girl in my class and one comment from a catty girl ("You look pregnant in that outfit") started horrible insecurity in me.

So yes - these women are being thoughtless and they hurt your feelings. It's inconsiderate and it's bordering on cruel - and it's probably the same way they've been treated and treated each other for their entire lives. Being a different way probably never occurred to anyone. They are likely just as insecure as you are, as ridiculous as it sounds.

Because this is family I'd consider actually confronting the issue and telling them exactly how terrible it is and how it makes you feel - without making it sound as if you feel they were personally targeting you. Because they probably aren't.

It is so easy as a fat girl to forget that being fat isn't the only thing that makes women uncomfortable or insecure. Seriously - I FORGET I'm not the fat girl anymore. But ALL women feel ugly or fat or unloveable at times and we are all kidding ourselves if we act like it's only okay to feel that way and to openly seek validation or compliments or reassurance if we're actually fat or have once been fat.

I try to be careful about what I say now. I actually got chewed out by a woman the other day who was very overweight and complaining about her size and how people treat her. I commiserated about feeling that way at times and she gave me a glare and asked me what I knew about being judged for my size.

EXCUSE ME?!

Let us not make assumptions, here. And let us not jump from feeling mistreated and abused to doing it to other people, either.

I whipped out my wallet with my engagement photos and quietly told her that I did understand, and quite well, and then I walked away. She has twice tried to engage me in conversation and I have no desire to talk to her.

Why? Because I refuse to be judged for my size - now that I'm small - the same way I felt judged when I was larger.

This post may have started out all in fun. And that's great, and we can all commiserate because we've all met that one annoying size 0 girl hell bent on getting a compliment out of her plus sized friends about how pretty she is because deep down, she hates herself even thought she's got a skinny ass.

But it stops being funny when you stop treating people like people. It stops being funny when you group people according to appearance and assume they don't know what it's like to feel bad or even deserve to feel bad.

I could apply that flawed logic to everything in my life that's been a bigger struggle than the person next to me. I could say, well, I've been fat AND I buried a child, so your complaints or feelings are invalid, shut up, I'd like to taser you.

That's the point most of these serious voices are trying to get across here.

Gemini started this post as a joke and we can all relate to what she was saying. She did nothing wrong by posting it here.

But the thread has evolved into something else entirely. It's probably time to just let it die and move on.

~Cheri

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I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is' date=' and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.[/quote']

^^^^THIIIISSSSSS!!!!! Are we related? LOL

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I have a VERY hard time being around my husbands family because the women(sisters and mom) talk frequently about their weight and their fat rolls and how big their butt is' date=' and the fact is they are all very slim. One sister inlaw is actually extremely thin, like a size 0. when we get together for family bbq's or party's, the women of this family always wind up standing around talking about their muffin tops, pointing at their butts saying "baby got back" etc. You get the picture? I am an extremely big girl, I am 5'4" and i weigh 255lbs, so you can imagine how I feel standing around listening to a bunch of skinny girls talk about how fat they are. I want to go crawl into a corner and cry. If they really think they are fat, what in the heck do they think about me? My sister said that most likely they are not even thinking about me or how their behavior makes me feel. Most likely they are just too self absorbed to even realize that their comments are hurtful and offensive. So,not because of them or anyone else, but only for myself, I will have the surgery done and I promise that when I loose the weight and am feeling like their is some part of my body, some imperfection that is just not the way I want it to be, that I will NEVER, REPEAT NEVER stand around and talk about it in front of someone who would obviously give anything to be my size.[/quote']

Oh my goodness, this is exactly how I felt with my in-laws!!! I was always the fat one at 240 pounds (5'4")standing around women ranging from size 2-8, and all would complain about how fat they were. Meanwhile I would just sit there quietly, embarrassed about myself. When my husband and I were going through a rough time, they all told him to "Leave that fat girl, she can't even give you kids". We have struggled 8 years with infertility issues, gone thru numerous IUI/Clomid, with no success, I have PCOS. Needless to say I was crushed,humiliated & above all hurt. I had never had any issues with anyone prior. I was actually the girl who always did favors for them & tried to advise them on going to school (I'm the only college grad in the family), I tried to be a positive influence but they couldn't get past my fatness. I'm a few weeks out of surgery, and the pounds are melting off. I thank God and my family for being supportive of my decision. In-laws have no idea about my sleeve & I can't wait to have them see the new me, the looks on their face will be worth every struggle.

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Ok soooooo there is my brothers second wife who is on this super gym rat kick, who has been overweight since I met her. I was 130 when she first came into the fold. A decade and change later she is sporting my old hair cut and on YouTube posting exercise videos like daily! WTF?!???! Anyhow... It pissed me off! This heifer decided to send me a bikini shot at the height of my pregnancy.... "Can u vote for me on this fitness site?" I wanted to kick her in the face.

She's a skinny BEOTCH NOW who thinks she's QUEEN OF ALL SKINNY BEOTCHES which I find comical!!!! Anyway had to vent.

Can't wait for her to feast her eyes on the brand new me after WLS. I am not telling anyone I had it. So when she gets tired of her fitness Quest.... And she will... Ill be back to still being skinny!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

PS when I was doing Bikrim yoga and jogging I wasn't BROADCASTING IT AND CONVERTING FOLKS LIKE I WAS BILLY BLANKS... I was silently doing me!

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Lol....I don't know why but it seems like people who shed the weight forget about that they still have a weight problem and nominate themselves as Queen Skinny B....like this one chick I know on Facebook talking about some bullshit a$s juice cleanse that she know very well had nothing to do with her weight loss (she has bypass a little more > a year ago) but yet she's flashing her before and after pics without mentioning the bypass! And now she's some sort of self proclaimed fitness expert lmao

The sad part is she's not skinny but she think she is...granted she's smaller but not skinny by definition. 5'5 and 180 something ain't skinny...

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I have read several stories about people that lost their excess weight with surgery then credited a product they're peddling. That should be a crime if it isn't imo. They are playing on the pain, desperation, and emotional scarring that many overweight people live with daily. Show me a drastic change in a before and after picture and I'll show you a line forming for that weight loss method. So sad that anyone would do this, especially since they have walked in those shoes and know firsthand how it feels.

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Lol....I don't know why but it seems like people who shed the weight forget about that they still have a weight problem and nominate themselves as Queen Skinny B....like this one chick I know on Facebook talking about some bullshit as juice cleanse that she know very well had nothing to do with her weight loss (she has bypass a little more > a year ago) but yet she's flashing her before and after pics without mentioning the bypass! And now she's some sort of self proclaimed fitness expert lmao

The sad part is she's not skinny but she think she is...granted she's smaller but not skinny by definition. 5'5 and 180 something ain't skinny...

Girl you are cracking me up! That is too funny, but I know what you mean. I've definitely seen her type. Even people who haven't had WLS but lose some weight, the word is SOME not ALL that they need to lose and they suddenly see themselves as looking like Barbie and it just ain't so! I don't know what mirror they are looking in but they need to throw it out cause its lying BIG TIME!

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Lol....I don't know why but it seems like people who shed the weight forget about that they still have a weight problem and nominate themselves as Queen Skinny B....like this one chick I know on Facebook talking about some bullshit as juice cleanse that she know very well had nothing to do with her weight loss (she has bypass a little more > a year ago) but yet she's flashing her before and after pics without mentioning the bypass! And now she's some sort of self proclaimed fitness expert lmao

The sad part is she's not skinny but she think she is...granted she's smaller but not skinny by definition. 5'5 and 180 something ain't skinny...

I have to agree with this I keep up with this one women from this forum and she's on Instagram saying how she did it and ppl ask her how and she acting like she is a fitness expert as well and I was shock because I be following here from the very beginning and to see her acted in this manner is something one time I commented and said I hope she staying true to her self she wrested that with the quickness

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Some people don't know what to do with a lot of attention. Going from invisible to getting tons of compliments may throw some people out of their minds. They morph into monsters

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