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To tell people or not to tell people: please answer



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Morning Darlings!!

i've surfing the web last night looking at instagram and seeing some negative comments towards people who have had WLS. I wondering have you told people? who do you tell?

I work for a large company and just told them I am having surgery and I only told HR. I told all the people I am working with that I am going on a spiritual retreat. isn't that what this is a retreat. A Stop in time after deciding to finally taking the plunge a retreat to recoup. I know I will come back thinner and as a person who is very outgoing and have a lot of work "friends" I am wondering do I tell. Some know my struggle I eat super healthy have tried every work out class only drink Water I am very positive person. I am unsure.... ughh

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I have told people and they are very supportive. I don't care what other people think. I did this for myself and my health. I was sleeved on June 17 and have lost 20lbs so far. I feel so much better

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I told some of my "friends" at work. Those how I felt we're trustworthy. By the time I came back, I was hearing rumors that I had gotten a Tummy Tuck, Lipo, lapband, even had a baby! Sups had found out.... Exactly who I didn't want to know... Management. You will be surprised to find out how many people smile in your face and are happy for you as long as you aren't doing better or looking better than you. It slapped me in the face... Big time.

In short, my advice is keep it between you and HR. best way to go. I wish I would have kept my mouth closed.

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I work for the military, and the only secrets I keep are those Classified by the government... When I was thinking about having surgery I talked to by boss and coworkers. Most of them are of course GIs and have to stay in shape or get kicked out, I'm a civilian and as such don't have the same PT rules. Once I made the decision everyone publicly has been very supportive. I've got plenty of sick leave, and no one seems bothered when I take a couple of days just because... Eventually it is going to be obvious I've made a lifestyle change, I know I won't be going to out to eat or drink with coworkers in the future, but I'm looking at this long term. This is how I'm going to get healthy again...

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I'm planning on keeping it mostly a secret. I am not close with any family so there isn't really anyone to tell theres. My co-workers are an oppinionated bunch that I don't feel like explaining my reasoning too. It also isn't their business. I've told a small circle of girlfriends that are very supportive. My husband also knows. My children are not of an age where I feel that they would understand.

I think this is a completely individual decision. If you are not sure, I say keep quiet until you are sure. You can't untell.

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I havent been shy about telling others. At first I thought I would be but I have been met with such positive responses especially since they see the huge change in me. There were only 2 times that i refrained from telling and it wasnt a big deal, just decided I would rather not explain it all to a person that I am not that close to and only see once a year. I have only been commended for telling the truth and never, not even once have I heard a negative comment. Yeah for me I know! Because there are those people out there with their opinions! I hope that if you choose to disclose this information that people will support you! You have to make that decision for yourself though. I thought it would be hard to tell and that I would be embarrassed but I finally decided that it is what it is! Have a super day!

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I told my DH and my BFF and that is it. I didn't tell any other friends or family, and especially any coworkers. It was a hard enough decision to come to, I didn't want/need anything but supportive comments. I'm 8 months out and I still keep it private. Weight always has been (and guessing always will be) a very private battle for me.

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When I first decided to have surgery I told "everyone" got the good, bad and ugly statements. That surgery fell through when insurance would not pay. Now that I am self pay I have been more quiet with who I have told and it is only a handful of people. My boss as being one who had looked into surgery and one co-worker. Her only comment what are you going to say when people notice. I said nothing. They know I have been on a diet and they honestly do not need to know. My close family knows but other than that no one else. I haven't even told my girlfriends. They knew I was going to have it awhile back but I now I have said nothing to any of them about it.....

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I didn't want to tell at first but people do begin to notice and start asking "what are you doing?" I tried saying, "just not eating as much" which was true but I still felt like I was lying and I am not comfortable with that so I just started telling them the truth. I was only met with one person who was non-supportive, who just said "Oh" and rolled her eyes and I literally started laughing and said "yeah, oh is right! Oh I am off all medications, have no more high blood pressure, no more depression problems, and no more sleep apnea! Oh is right" smiled and walked off. I have decided that other peoples opinions do not matter and I don't want to try to keep up with who I have told and if they do know it and you don't realize it, you look like a fool when you lie to them. I don't feel it is anything to be ashamed of. For me it is just easier but I would recommend doing whatever makes you feel ok. I think you might feel differently after surgery but you may not... Good luck with whatever you decide. It will be right for you! :D

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Tracy, people who know me know I work out and I am a healthy foodie. SO if they ask i'll say exercise and healthy food. when I go back to work i'll say my retreat was wonderful and I did juice cleanses and ate Soup and did yoga. Which isn't too far from something I would do. I juice all the time and do yoga

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Just remember, you can tell people about your surgery anytime you want. But, you can't untell them later. I've been a target since grade school, so I'm very defensive about giving out ammo to the haters.

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I've told everyone. Most of them already knew about my struggle to lose weight in the past. A lot of them even pretty much said as much after I told them I was going to get surgery and were happy for me. I'm not ashamed of my decision and like it has been said here, I now have a lot of support!

You need to decide what is right for you. I have been blessed to have such a supportive bunch around me. Others aren't as lucky.

Good luck on your journey!

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I initially only told my immediate family and one person at work. But, as I lost weight, I was not shy about it becasue I didnt care if they judged me, wasn't done for them, it was for me and my family. When anyone asks, I simply tell them because, at this point, I weigh 190 lbs, down from the almost 320 I was, it is obvious something is going on. I actually had a few people apprehensively approach me because they thought I was losing weight because I was sick. I dont' have a problem telling them right from the start that I had surgery. A lot of times they are very interested in what the procedure was becasue most have never heard of it.

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I have only shared my surgery with my husband and one other person. I am a very private person and don't feel the need to share. When I need to share I come to a place where I know there will be support....this board. When people start to notice my weight loss I will put it down to diet and exercise, which will be true. Because you are asking us for advice about this, perhaps you are not ready to tell everyone. People who have told you that you can't untell people are so right. I would advise you to wait until you know the answer to your own question and are comfortable with it. You can always tell later. If someone asks you directly, ask them, "why do you ask?" Then say, "That's interesting!" and you don't even have to give an answer. This is your business and right to keep it so. Good luck and best wishes for a new healthy life! :rolleyes:

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