Mad as Hell......

[Bullwinkle 1]

My surgeon requires that his patients have a psyche evaluation before having the lap band procedure.

Okay, so I took the tests the psychiatrist told me to take. You know the kind……you use a Number 2 Pencil and fill in the bubbles. Two different personality tests, et al. I called his office last week and left a voicemail, asking him to please fax the results to my surgeon. He calls me back and tells me that he wants to discuss a few things with me.

Uh oh. Hmmm. Okay.

So I go into his office yesterday to discuss the results. He’s ‘troubled’ by some of my answers, and thinks I need to see him once a week for three months to work on some of my ‘issues’. This guy thinks I’m certifiable, and is going to tell my surgeon that I shouldn’t have the lap band procedure at this time.

What the Hell?

I guess that’s what I get for being completely honest in my answers. He went over those answers with me, and I gave him my explanations for giving those answers. Each time I gave him an explanation, he gave me the once-over and mumbled, “Uh HUH.” And then scribbled something on his note pad.

Sanctimonious, judgmental sonofabi-otch.

Here’s your explanations, buddy. The REASON I have nightmares each night is because I’m wearing a freakin’ nicotine patch. The nicotine patch is notorious for causing nightmares. My surgeon told me I hafta quit smoking, so I haven’t had a cigarette in 33 days now. The nicotine patch helps takes some of the edginess away.

The REASON I am anxious and edgy is because I haven’t had a cigarette in 33 days, after having smoked for over 20 years.

The REASON I experience "sweating for no reason" is because I am menopausal. They are called NIGHT SWEATS and HOT FLASHES, you moron.

The REASON I feel pain in the back of my neck is because I have a C5/C6 vertebrae problem. What the Hell else did YOU think it was?

The REASON I have a ringing in my right ear is because I had an inner ear infection with I took the freakin' test. It's not because "I hear things" or "I see dead people" type of situation. Get yer mind out of your ass.

The REASON I said that people talk about me is because, uh, HELLO, they DO. I walked in from the plant the other day at work to find my boss and a co-worker saying something about my pretty, red sweater. So, I answered your question honestly, you dolt. It's not because I'm paranoid or anything. My answer wasn't a NEGATIVE connotation. And I joined into that conversation with my peers about my sweater. What the Hell were YOU thinking???

The REASON I have dizzy spells is because of the aforementioned inner ear infection, causing a little vertigo. Why the Hell do you feel the need to read things into my HONEST answers?

The REASON I’m a little depressed at this time of year is because I don’t get to see my family. Holy Crap. ANYONE would be a tad depressed because of missing family members at the holidays. Add to the equation that people trying to quit smoking experience depression and, voila, you have a patient, such as I, stating: “Yes, I experience depression.”

Stupid freakin’ “read everything negative you can about this woman and her answers” doctor (and I use the term ‘doctor’ loosely).

The REASON I nibble on food – even when I’m not hungry – is because I’m trying to find a substitute for sticking a damn cigarette into my mouth. You call it bingeing. I call it finding a substitute for a cigarette. It’s not bingeing, you idiot. Why the Hell do you think I want this surgery? People who nibble all night long after dinner NEED to be banded so that overeating will become physically impossible.

So, this unprepossessing fool holds the keys, as it were, to me having this lap band procedure. With one sweeping, generalization about me to my surgeon, he holds the power to either allow me to have this life-altering surgery, or to deny me the hope I’ve built upon for the past year that I’ve been researching this procedure.

Man, I want a cigarette. Bad. It’s seven o’clock in the freakin' morning, on Christmas Eve, and I’m thinking of hoofing it down to the local convenience store and getting a pack.

I emailed my surgeon when I got home yesterday from Doctor Whats-his-face, and told him just what I think of the so-and-so, and WHY I answered the way I did to some of those questions. With everything I’ve read about my surgeon – and from my assessment when I met him in person – he strikes me as genuinely interested in helping people like me who have tried and exhausted every other avenue to permanent weight loss. I'm thinking of sending the link to this thread to him, since he frequents this message board.

*sigh* I need a cigarette in a very bad way.

[skyeblu79 0]

What in the world? Can you find another psychiatrist or this the one the doctor uses?

I really think they want you to lie on these tests. I took a personality test for a job one time and never got a call back. I went back about a year later and lied on the test and got a call back.

Good luck w/this...

[edieparks 2]

Lets drive by the shrink's car and egg it !!! I'll do it with you.

I totally agree with you. What the HELL?? Sounds like he has high rent at his office.

Edie

ps I love my shrink tee hee:nervous

[juliegeraci 7]

I would talk to your surgeon and see if he can recommend another doctor for you to see. Waiting 3 months to see what happens is not a good idea. Good luck to you.

[tonya66 13]

Man, I have an appointment on 1/4 to meet for a Psyche eval too. I think I will be less honest. lol. Scary. I didn't think they would actually put a surgery on hold. That is just crazy.

[DevilMayKare 1]

Well, you might not be mentally disturbed, but you've gotta be crazy to answer truthfully to some of those questions!

[terrriho 0]

Bullwinkle, best RANT I have ever read Clone it and send it to psych guy (doctor) I am sure he will understand:biggrin1:

[ReneBean 3]

*Sigh*

The truth shall set you free - from the ability to get a band~!

Gosh - I guess you should have set your mind back about 2 mos and answered as if you were still smoking!

Find another doc, if you can - or rattle the brains of the one you saw. I am not sure that I would link him to this rant...

Ranting and Raving is usually NOT considered sane... even though sometimes it is all that keeps us that way!

Good luck!!

[marjon9 6]

Wow, that sucks. I can't think of anything that would make me more pissed off. I assume that insurance is involved in this for you. If you are self pay I would just tell your surgeon to kiss your bumber and go find a doctor who is less paternalistic. There are plenty such doctors. Like mine, for example.

[Gummiebear 0]

They told me to get a psych that was sympothetic to lap band surgery when I went so I did. I have bipolar 1 and didnt use my normal doctor cuz I didnt know where he stood on the subject but i passed. I actually have some of the symptoms you named and I still passed so I agree get a new doc and use one ur lap band office recommends. They usually know whos sympothetic.

[tonya66 13]

"WHY" do we have to see a psych? What are they "looking" for? Just curious on why the docs want us to see one?

[ReneBean 3]

They want to be sure you aren't going to get all freaked out when you lose the weight and do something self destructive.

That can range from eating to the point of pain/slippage to suidcide. Or - to simply eating around the band. They just want to be sure that putting the band in won't cause more problems than it solves. If you can't handle the changes in the way you eat and live - then they really shouldn't put a band in.

Let's face it - if we didn't have some food vs emotion issues, we probably would never have gotten to the point where we needed the band.

It wouldn't be so horrible for us all to have 3 mos of counselling - but I wouldn't want to have to wait for that to get my band done.

:]

[GeezerSue 7]

An EDUCATED psychologist will know what one of these MMPI's or MMPI-clones can diagnose and what it cannot diagnose. One thing they are NOT set up to deal with is reality.

YOUR issues...and, as I recall, I was dealing with interstitial cystitis, a bladdr disease that makes you need to pee every 40 minutes or so, day and night, and other illnesses...OH WAIT! ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!! The test pretty much diagnosed COPD as panic attacks because I had "difficult breathing" and felt that "I might die." Imagine! Thinking you might die just because you can't breathe...how insane is THAT!!! While that CAN indicate panic attacks, but given that I had Chronic Obsructive Pulmonary Disease and I really did had trouble breathing...you'd think someone who had spent that much time in school COULD have added 2+2.

Anyway...you need a shrink who will interview you personally, not one who relies on the easy-way-out tests.

Good luck.

[ralheit 0]

Did the psych actually say he wasn't going to recmmend the surgery? I had to go to one that was on a list that my surgeon gave me and she seemed quite concerned about me, she was sure that I was suicidal and suggested that I continue to see her, but she went ahead and approved me for the surgery. Hope all goes well for you.

[flabuless 18]

Gosh Bullwinkle what a crock! for all their letters after their name I do believe that some of these so called 'professionals' are just idiots with their head so far up their own insanity that they think every body is certifiable.

becky