My mom and I are very close - she's my best friend. However, she is totally against me getting sleeved. In fact, I saw the surgeon in February, and haven't done any of my "assignments" yet because she talked me out of it. Today I scheduled my sleep study and NUT. When I told her, I got the same negative responses I always get.

Aside from the what if's she keeps throwing at me (what if you die, what if you waste away to 80 pounds...) - what I keep getting is: "Why don't you just put all the time and effort you'd be spending after surgery on WW and exercise?"

Arghh! I have been trying that for over 30 years! Why can't she understand - and how can I try to make her? I really need her support on this.

Ha!

And I finally said "yes you can come down and drive me" ( didn't really need her I have a perfectly good husband at home)

So the crazy b***h (gotta love her) shows up on my front porch the morning of the surgery' date=' with not 1 but 2 platters of Cookies in her hands and a cookie hanging out of her mouth because she was "starving"

I really don't know how I got fat...

[/quote']

Cookies? Seriously??? She is crazy. . But congratulations on having a perfectly good husband!

Docbree' date='

Do not let your mom be involved in this unless she is going to be a support to you. I did not tell my mom I was having surgery and she still does not know. She would have never wanted me to do it and she would've tried her best to talk me out of it and I just didn't want to deal with it. Go forward, be strong, it will change your life. You will never regret this. I am just 11 days postop and I can't tell you how much better I feel and I know it's only going to get better. I wish you strength and perseverance.[/quote']

Thank you!

DocBree.. Are you a dr? If you are it seems like you're mom would trust your medical decisions? I guess a Mom is always a Mom. Leave it to a mom to piss us off to no end and we still love them all the same.

Ha!

And I finally said "yes you can come down and drive me" ( didn't really need her I have a perfectly good husband at home)

So the crazy b***h (gotta love her) shows up on my front porch the morning of the surgery, with not 1 but 2 platters of Cookies in her hands and a cookie hanging out of her mouth because she was "starving"

I really don't know how I got fat...

I wouldn't let mine take me but I had to let her bring me home. She wanted to stop at the grocery and do a little shopping (for herself, not for me) so that she "wouldn't have to go back out". Please note that she lives less than two miles from the market and I heaved multiple times into a plastic bag during the 25 minute ride home.

I wouldn't let mine take me but I had to let her bring me home. She wanted to stop at the grocery and do a little shopping (for herself' date=' not for me) so that she "wouldn't have to go back out". Please note that she lives less than two miles from the market and I heaved multiple times into a plastic bag during the 25 minute ride home.[/quote']

Your mom wins! That's messed up!

On a side note I can't wait to drive my kids crazy after they become adults..

If she's the prize, you can have her. HA!

I have made my kids swear to tell me if I turn anything like her as I get older. No ****.

If she's the prize' date=' you can have her. HA!

I have made my kids swear to tell me if I turn anything like her as I get older. No ****.[/quote']

Give her to me... i'll do the same thing with her that I have planned for my mom.

Granny dumping in front of a state run old folks home! It's easy just make sure to take away all of their identification

Maybe they can be BFFs. Mine is the super skinny, never had a weight problem, makes disparaging remarks about fat people in front of me but is blind to the fact that I am one of them types. She is completely out of her gourd and needs someone to listen to her talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and craft with.

I wouldn't let mine take me but I had to let her bring me home. She wanted to stop at the grocery and do a little shopping (for herself, not for me) so that she "wouldn't have to go back out". Please note that she lives less than two miles from the market and I heaved multiple times into a plastic bag during the 25 minute ride home.

That's awful!!

I love my mom dearly but I don't think I want to tell her until the week after surgery. My mom still tries to tell me that I am not fat, that I don't need to lose weight. Every time I have ever gone on a diet she tells me she is afraid I will waste away to nothing. When I brought up wanting to have the surgery in the past she went into tears and blamed herself for my bad self esteem. She is very small and has no personal experience with significant weight loss.

I'm feeling so much better having you all to talk to- Your progress is so encouraging

I didn't tell my mom a word until everything was done and I had a surgery date!!

So she couldn't say much. As a matter of fact she felt so out of the loop she begged to at least be able to come down and drive me to the hospital.

I did the same thing. Oh btw mom I am doing XXXX next Wednesday, just thought I would let you know.

My mom and I are very close - she's my best friend. However' date=' she is totally against me getting sleeved. In fact, I saw the surgeon in February, and haven't done any of my "assignments" yet because she talked me out of it. Today I scheduled my sleep study and NUT. When I told her, I got the same negative responses I always get.

Aside from the what if's she keeps throwing at me (what if you die, what if you waste away to 80 pounds...) - what I keep getting is: "Why don't you just put all the time and effort you'd be spending after surgery on WW and exercise?"

Arghh! I have been trying that for over 30 years! Why can't she understand - and how can I try to make her? I really need her support on this.[/quote']

My mother is doing the exact same thing. I know she's just scared. I probably would be too if my daughter were going through this. On the other side she has been a very negative person my whole life. I try to just focus on how lucky I am to have this opportunity and I think I've realized that I'm never going to be able to change her and or be able to convince her this is a good thing. I get real angry when she starts her what if you die bs when my kids are present. My husband and i have gone to great lengths to prepare them and then she starts in and i have worried kids. I still wish I had her support. More importantly I wish she'd be there for me holding my hand with words of encouragement but in reality I won't have her. Hopefully you have others who are supportive for you. Just remember this is something you are doing for you.

Are you doing the surgery for you or her? It's for you, it's your life, it's your health!

If she is not going to support you, just make the appointments and don't tell her. You are an adult, you can do this!

Good Luck!

My mom is always negative. When I was thin I was TOO THIN. However since I have gained weight (20 yrs now) she will call me up & work onto every conversation about how fat i am. She used to tell me I wouldn't get married "because men want their women to look good". Well I got married 8 yrs ago. He loves me no matter what. When I decided to do the surgery I told NO ONE but my husband. I let my family know once I had a date. I told them that if they couldn't be supportive to please say nothing at all because I am doing this for me and my health.

I'm built like my Dad. I did the pre-work on my own, talked it over with my sister. Then I told my parents I was doing it - once my mind was made up. My Mom offered to fly in for the surgery and I almost didn't let her. It was a challenge, but I was glad she was coming to "hold my hand" pre-op.

First thing we had to do was grocery shop (I was on the Clear liquids 24hrs before at that point). (Why she did the BOGO on the lettuce and left it for me I'll never know, but hey, my neighbors appreciated it.) She didn't stay at the hospital once I was out of surgery, didn't communicate to the family beyond that I was OK (she went shopping), and she flew out the morning after I got home. I had to drive myself to a doctor's appointment and had to go very slowly because I was still so shaky.

However, I'm so independent if it had gone differently we could have killed each other. I thought about what it would mean if she came, was honest about my fears (we have almost come to blows sharing the same roof before - she raised me to be very independent), and she was honest about her "not doing the hospital thing". It was what it was.

A friend who had surgery the week later was in the hospital with her family (husband and kids) and hadn't told her parents. Her husband ended up telling them for her. I was shocked. I was very open with everyone once my mind was made up - even on Facebook. But I was clear - if you weren't going to support me, please unfriend me now, that type of thing.

Good luck in dealing with your Mom, and I hope she comes through for you. And I think it's a toss up between coming with Cookies and trying to grocery shop on the way home for who's Mom is more oblivious!