Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

Tomorrow is my sleeve day and the first day of emotional healing..

Ok yall, tomorrow is the day! I have had my fits of crying, celebration,denial, revelations and anticipation! But for the most part it was periods of reconciliation...

I sat down with my husband and he was very emotional about this process..He has been doing the preop diet with me so I wouldnt feel alone. We realized that every major celebration,accomplishment has been filled with food. We really have enjoyed those times and he was mourning the loss of those moments. I believe he is an food addict too and realizing he will no longer have his partner in crime saddened him.

For the first time I saw this process through his eyes...what this process would mean to our relationship and how we communicate with one another..He is so afraid for me and is absorbing all of my anxiety it seems... i dont talk much about my doubt with him,I know if he sees i have doubts he would have them too.

I have to change the conversation in my head, i know that...but I cant help but have doubts about the success of this procedure. I have been overweight for over 20 years and I have tried everything. I have had small victories and the weight would come back before I could really Celebrate.. I lost 25 pounds in the preop process and I never celebrated a pound of it...its because I have seen 25 lbs gone before but it didnt matter because it never stayed away.

I know i have the capacity to follow the process and do what i need to do for continued success,pre op is hard and I welcome the post op diet after what I have been through! I remain prayerful,focused and ready for the new me...and praying for new conversations with myself...

  • Replies 30
  • Views 2.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Featured Replies

Congrats on your surgery tomorrow! Hope you have a smooth surgery and a speedy recovery!

Lucky to have a very understanding and supporting husband. Count your blessings. Mine just said to me last night that he was very scared about my surgery. Afraid he would lose me. It has been 5 months ago and he says this now.

Best of luck to you.

all the best for tomorrow, will be thinking of you x

Hi Cat, tomorrow is my day as well. Many of the things you mentioned rang true for me. My husband and I spent an exorbitant amount of time talking about, planning, cooking and eating meals. We also spent a lot of time in bars eating and drinking. Well he was forced to stop drinking and now I'm going to have to change the way that I eat and drink. It is going to be a change for both of us, and we will need to find other things to do to occupy our time. My hope is that now he is healthy from his addiction and I will be healthier from losing weight that other things will be easier for us to do and enjoy doing.

One thing that you said really hit me, that you haven't celebrated any of your pre-op weight loss because you've lost that weight before, and that's exactly how I feel. I've been here before and so scared for failure.

But we are going to do it anyway, and hopefully from now on we can celebrate our weight loss and at the end be able to maintain it for the rest of our lives.

Crossing fingers and toes for you!!!

  • Author

Thanks eveyrone for your well wishes! @jlobyxmas why did i cry when i read your post?? I thought I was the only one who felt that way. Isnt it funny how food has connected us to people we care about? I am really focusing on celebrating now,trying to imagine the clothes i will be in..baby steps..but it is an improvement. I am praying for a succesfull surgery and recovery for you too! I will be checking in on you tomorrow love...

The days before surgery we are all anxiety ridden I think. But the funny thing is, as women WE put up a brave front so that the people around us will feel better, when truthfully they should be trying to make us (the patient) feel better. It's nice to be able to come here and vent, and people understand.

This time tomorrow we will be on the other side...and working on our new normal.

Yea US!

Whew what a beautifully honest post. You will do awesome on this next journey of your life. You are mentally prepared and self aware. And it sounds like you have an amazing partner and husband who lives you very much. Not all of us are so blessed.

Keep in mind the first two days postop are the worst you will see and you will feel so much better afterwards. Everyone heals differently but I'm 18 days out and I haven't felt this good in a long while. I have more energy and I feel lighter not just physically but emotionally. I barely have any scars from incisions and my body is reshaping itself. You will get there one step at a time. Just be kind to yourself, patient and follow doctors orders. :-) so very happy for you. Keep up the good work.

  • Author

@jlobyxmas i do spend alot of time protecting others..i didnt even tell my mother about it. I mentioned it to her months ago and she begged me not too because she didnt want to loose me. Dont want to scare her.. I love that "my new normal" I love it! @iburtie thanks so much for your support and insight on the procedure.. i hope i heal easy too..i have tried to follow everything to the letter to shrink my liver and stomach..i had a few slip ups but im in the home stretch... thanks again!

You have a very supportive husband. I'm lucky to have one as well. He knows I can't eat much so he isn't so quick to want to go out to eat. He also lets me decide where to eat so that it will fit in with my new eating style. He makes sure I get my Vitamins in and that I'm eating (something I forget to!). He has supported me through this whole process and I'm thankful to have him in my corner. I had my surgery on 12/26 and allowed myself one 10 minute crying jag of "what did I do to myself?" That was 3 days after surgery and I was not feeling so good.

That's the last day I felt bad. I've had ups and downs and I have learned from them. I know my trigger points now and don't let myself eat one more bite because I know what's going to happen. I'm pretty good about eating healthy but I allow myself an occasional piece of birthday cake - granted - it's a really SMALL piece and I take off the icing now.

This new style of eating is easier than I thought it was going to be. Now that I'm 5 months out I can eat a lot more stuff than I could the first three months. I have found that I don't want to sabotage my success. I'm down 61 pounds since I started the whole process and I have never felt better. I get frequent compliments about how good I look and although they were hard to take at first - now they make me want to keep going to get to the next goal.

I loved your post. You are going to be a complete success because you are in the right frame of mind. Good luck to you and please let us know how you are doing.

You have a very supportive husband. I'm lucky to have one as well. He knows I can't eat much so he isn't so quick to want to go out to eat. He also lets me decide where to eat so that it will fit in with my new eating style. He makes sure I get my Vitamins in and that I'm eating (something I forget to!). He has supported me through this whole process and I'm thankful to have him in my corner. I had my surgery on 12/26 and allowed myself one 10 minute crying jag of "what did I do to myself?" That was 3 days after surgery and I was not feeling so good.

That's the last day I felt bad. I've had ups and downs and I have learned from them. I know my trigger points now and don't let myself eat one more bite because I know what's going to happen. I'm pretty good about eating healthy but I allow myself an occasional piece of birthday cake - granted - it's a really SMALL piece and I take off the icing now.

This new style of eating is easier than I thought it was going to be. Now that I'm 5 months out I can eat a lot more stuff than I could the first three months. I have found that I don't want to sabotage my success. I'm down 61 pounds since I started the whole process and I have never felt better. I get frequent compliments about how good I look and although they were hard to take at first - now they make me want to keep going to get to the next goal.

I loved your post. You are going to be a complete success because you are in the right frame of mind. Good luck to you and please let us know how you are doing.

Correction - I'm FOUR months out :)
  • Author

@december i am so glad you have a support system too...and for those who dont have that in their lives we have this forum,which i am so grateful for. What and how to eat is really my biggest fear. I had to stop reading the handouts because of it. As the hours inch closer i am more and more ready. Thank you so much for sharing your story...

Cat...9 hours until I leave my house...how bout u, how u holdin up? Nerves, excitement, jitters. I'm so not gonna sleep????

  • Author

Im not gonna sleep either girl! Im with my mom right now..she is in a rehab facility. One of the reasons I am doing this is for her. With my back,knee issues i have i cant tend to her like i would like...she is my everything and being here with her comforts me... 10 hours for me! I have so much to do when i leave here...

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.