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Tomorrow is my sleeve day and the first day of emotional healing..
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Ok yall, tomorrow is the day! I have had my fits of crying, celebration,denial, revelations and anticipation! But for the most part it was periods of reconciliation...
I sat down with my husband and he was very emotional about this process..He has been doing the preop diet with me so I wouldnt feel alone. We realized that every major celebration,accomplishment has been filled with food. We really have enjoyed those times and he was mourning the loss of those moments. I believe he is an food addict too and realizing he will no longer have his partner in crime saddened him.
For the first time I saw this process through his eyes...what this process would mean to our relationship and how we communicate with one another..He is so afraid for me and is absorbing all of my anxiety it seems... i dont talk much about my doubt with him,I know if he sees i have doubts he would have them too.
I have to change the conversation in my head, i know that...but I cant help but have doubts about the success of this procedure. I have been overweight for over 20 years and I have tried everything. I have had small victories and the weight would come back before I could really Celebrate.. I lost 25 pounds in the preop process and I never celebrated a pound of it...its because I have seen 25 lbs gone before but it didnt matter because it never stayed away.
I know i have the capacity to follow the process and do what i need to do for continued success,pre op is hard and I welcome the post op diet after what I have been through! I remain prayerful,focused and ready for the new me...and praying for new conversations with myself...