Something horrible happened last night...

[2nd Time Karen 8]

Dear BEE,

Having a support system is so important. Clearly your family is not supportive of your decision. WHO IS? your DOCTOR? Consider your REASON for surgery Health? Prevention of other chronic illness? or is it to be thin and wear a certain size. I hardly think that any of us actually enter into this for thinness, it's a perk, but it's not the main reason. I am nearly 60 years old and I have no family to support me, my friends tolerate my decision but they also think I have lost my mind (just quit eating!!!) I even had to change doctors to discuss this surgery with someone who will support me.

My only concern with surgery out of the country is who is going to followup with you later? Bee, I know you are in a tough position, I honestly don't know what I would do. But it's gone on too long. I vote to make an effort to get your husband onboard. Your mom and dad will understand in time.

[TES 858]

TO HAVE AN ORGAN REMOVED? Talk about drama .. Good Lord!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am a real Seattle person who has gone to MX many times for surgery and will go back. One of my daughters has insurance coverage and will be going to MX because she trusts my docs extensive experience over docs here in the states. My other daughter is going in the fall.

I'm on my way to work, but PM me if you need to talk and I'll make my phone # available to you

Prayers for you.. And to your family

Ms AntiBand, will your daughter's insurance cover her in Mexico, or is she going to self pay and not use her insurance? Just curious....

[msjazzyldy 49]

This is EXACTLY why I am not telling my parents until I come back because I mentioned it before and my mom started crying telling me not to go and my dad said "you are crazy and selfish for going to a foreign country to do this"...I have told my BF and 1 cousin. My BF said I should tell my parents but I know my parents more than he does and it will only be DRAMA and NEGATIVITY towards me going and I don't need that from anyone...

I feel sorry for you and I TOTALLY understand your sentiments but NO ONE can live your life for you but you!!! Do what you think will make you happy....at the end of the day it is your life, your body, your happiness that resides in this so none really truly understands how you feel....Best of luck with whatever decision you make!!!

[hurley911 59]

I would tell them that they need to trust that you have been researching this for months.

[hurley911 59]

I didn't mean to send that yet, anyway my parents freaked out the same...they are also older... I told them that they have to trust my decision a I had been researching for months... I knew of I backed out I would regret it and resent them.... Keeping in mind my parents and I are very very very close! It wasn't easy and my mom claims she isn't sleeping at night... And calls me randomly saying can't you do this or that....? I just said I do not mean any disrespect to you... I have been researching for ever and this is what I'm doing and how serious I am about changing my life.....etc... Easier said then done... Good luck to you in whatever you decide!!!

[Newme48 104]

I agree I would have researched Mexico if I had not been approved. You control your own destiny. You do not want to look back with regret for not going just to appease your parents. There seem to be a lot of people on here that went to Mexico too. They must be doing something right to have so many people use their hospital. I hope they go with you. I pray your husband comes around because he needs to be your biggest support person. You have done the research so you should trust your heart and do this for yourself. This is the best choice I have ever made for myself. Wish I had done it sooner. I am so happy and I wish this kind of happiness for you!

[Diamondeyed 399]

Go!

[vsginnj 415]

Just wondering is your husbands name d**k? Do your parents use the Internet ? Perhaps you can lead them here to undo some of the negative bs that has been spun their way. If you are comfortable with the decision you made...GO

[TES 858]

I was just thinking how some people I know have questioned my going on vacation to Mexico! To resort towns like Cancun and Cabo, which are totally safe. They aren't border towns known for drug violence, and I am always safe/smart when I travel. I think there are a lot of misperceptions both about Mexico (which is a lovely country with lovely people) and this surgery.

[abetterme4.2 268]

This is the same reason I opted to not tell my mom, nor anyone else. My husband knew - but he didn't take me seriously. One day he saw me preparing (4 days out) and asked me where I was going.

I said..."MEXICO!" It was hilarious. He got online and booked a ticket and went with me. He was genuinely amazed AND impressed with the quality of care and how professional everything was. I don't know what he expected, but but my experience was not like it was a chop shop. Sheesh. My doctor received his education here in the states, practiced here for several years, and chooses to practice in Mexico.

If every one is so concerned and willing to help out, let them come with you. But if all they can offer are negative comments and replies and can not offer up any support, let them get their own counseling to deal.

YOU know what's best for you, and sometimes pleasing everyone else is not the answer.

I wish you the best in your decision.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Ms AntiBand, will your daughter's insurance cover her in Mexico, or is she going to self pay and not use her insurance? Just curious....

No insurance coverage in MX.. Unless its urgent. Because of our confidence in the dr we are all contributing towards her cost. Out of pocket/co pmt costs in the states are almost equal to full surgery costs in MX.

On a side note.. To the OP and family, The surgery cost in MX is equal to their cost of overhead/living down there.. Just as our surgery cost up here is equal to cost of overhead/living here

People need to realize that the surgery in MX isn't less expensive because it's less quality.. It's very expensive to the citizens of MX. They can't afford the medical treatments we get there like we can't afford it out of pocket here

[serenity1959 67]

Wow! I am angry on your behalf. That was such a betrayal by your husband. This is *your* health you are dealing with. You have done your research and made your plans. Be strong and go! I know it is hard. Hugs sent your way.

[Museum-Mama 196]

First, HUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGSSS!!!!!

Secondly, take the advice most are saying here: make the decision for YOU.

Over time, with things like this, in my marriage it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission. You are bettering yourself, not getting a face tattoo. (I have nothing against tattoos, btw, but you get my point. lol!) Stick to your guns and go for it! If your parents and husband love you as much as they say they do, they will end up supporting yout in the end after the surgery is complete.

Have faith, and chin up! We are here to support you!

[Trixie2012 28]

Bee, I am also an Ariel Ortiz patient & second Shelley's offer to speak to your personally if you like. Just send me a PM.

I told no one except my husband and 8 months later he is still keeping my secret. I chose not to inform my family because I did not want them to worry plus I didn't need the drama.

Interesting enough, I was in the car with my mother and two of my aunts last week. One of them announced their daughter has gone crazy and is seriously considering going to Mexico for sleeve surgery! The gasps and opinions started flying! It was so hard for me not to give my personal account but fear of being judged for either having my surgery in Mx or not telling my mother kept me silent.

I feel for you. If there's anything I can answer about my experience to help ease your mind with your decision, please don't hesitate to contact me.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,145]

Bee' date=' I am also an Ariel Ortiz patient & second Shelley's offer to speak to your personally if you like. Just send me a PM.

I told no one except my husband and 8 months later he is still keeping my secret. I chose not to inform my family because I did not want them to worry plus I didn't need the drama.

Interesting enough, I was in the car with my mother and two of my aunts last week. One of them announced their daughter has gone crazy and is seriously considering going to Mexico for sleeve surgery! The gasps and opinions started flying! It was so hard for me not to give my personal account but fear of being judged for either having my surgery in Mx or not telling my mother kept me silent.

I feel for you. If there's anything I can answer about my experience to help ease your mind with your decision, please don't hesitate to contact me.[/quote']

Perhaps if you opened up about your experience it would make it easier on your aunts to accept and ease any anxiety your cousin might have?

Amanda Rae