Who has been more supportive - your fat friends or your skinny friends?

[bonita19 6]

I am just curious - in general- have you felt more support from your fat friends or skinny friends? please forgive my terms of fat and skinny (not trying to offend any!)

I thought for sure my skinny friends would be more judgmental and I was more hesitant to share with them about my surgery. To my surprise, they were the most encouraging and supportive. I thought my "fat" friends would be more understanding of this struggle and therefore more supportive and encouraging. However, I have found them to be the bigger "naysayers". Wondered what other's had experienced?

[mark! 449]

For me, it's been a bit of both really. Some fat friends don't talk to me as much, some skinny ones don't, but it's whatever, I didn't do this for them. I do have a good network of 3 close work friends who have undergone this procedure, a sgt I work with had it and some of the guys in investigations had it as well, so we formed a pretty tight little support group here ourselves.

[Tawnie 99]

I only shared surgery originally at work with about 10 people. I did not even tell parents until a month out. Everyone is very supportive! From a friend often that does body building competition to those that are very over weight.

They have made me comfortable enough to start telling others.

[keystone28 18]

My friends and family whove been through it all before. The one thing that irritated me the most was "You?!? Why do you need that? Isnt it a little severe?".

[gmanbat 5,889]

My friends and family whove been through it all before. The one thing that irritated me the most was "You?!? Why do you need that? Isnt it a little severe?".

I got that, too. Once from a nurse in the hospital! "You don't look like you need it."

Ok, I'm over 100 pounds overweight, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, diabetes, no energy,belly like I swallowed a beach ball...ya I'm doing fine.

Now I have no sleep apnea, high blood pressure, diabetes, low energy and I deflated the beach ball.

[FAWife 65]

I've gotten more support from FRIENDS in general rather then my family. Then again they are all overweight. Now they exclude me, because their entire day consists of eating.

[T'snewstart 251]

I would have to say the " thinner people" have been more supportive. I have had a few awkward and sad situations with my "fat" friends. Even to the point it bothered them I got full so fast. I got a few comments like " Oh Great" now I will be the fattest one in the group. When that type of conversation happened it was the last time we got together. I guess we all realized that some how it just got unhealthy. I personally would be there for any one of them that wanted to deal with their weight. However, they are not ready. I refuse to feel bad about such a positive thing in my life. So the big friends and I have just pulled away from each other. It seems to have been a mutual thing really. We do call each other to catch up... But even those calls are short and sweet. Sad bit true... I have to admit I didn't see that one coming!

[babyleaf 15]

Actually, I am not shocked but my friends that struggle with weight have been....different....counting there calories in front of me....telling me how little they are eating....inspecting my body everytime I see them.....it is a little weird....it feels like a competition..

Unfortunately, one that no one will win because I am only 3 weeks out and have lost over 35 lbs due to a slight complication. I don't want this to be a competition but I see this going south....fast

I am only about 2 and 3 sizes away from them and I am afraid when I am no longer the "biggest", it will be different....is there something I should do or say now...this is my closest group of friends on the daily and I would hate to change our relationship.

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[anayortiz 16]

I have support from both friends and family but i hate is that my family got to involve in my surgery that if they see that i should not be eating or drinking something they over react and its annoying i regret telling the family !!

[T'snewstart 251]

Actually, I am not shocked but my friends that struggle with weight have been....different....counting there calories in front of me....telling me how little they are eating....inspecting my body everytime I see them.....it is a little weird....it feels like a competition..

Unfortunately, one that no one will win because I am only 3 weeks out and have lost over 35 lbs due to a slight complication. I don't want this to be a competition but I see this going south....fast

b

I am only about 2 and 3 sizes away from them and I am afraid when I am no longer the "biggest", it will be different....is there something I should do or say now...this is my closest group of friends on the daily and I would hate to change our relationship.

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I wish the was a right or wrong answer to that. For me and my friends I tried to keep my "big friends" involved. It started out we were going to do this together. I did my sleeve and they were supposed to diet and exercise. Well they fell into temptation and didn't get back up. I never said one negative word......just encouraged them to try....I would only talk about it if they brought it up. I came to the conclusion that I have done all I can. They have to walk their own journey.... I hope the best for you and yours.... I have my fingers crossed this will turn for the good with my friends also.... Best Wishes

[Nicolanz 1,484]

All of my friends are supportive. But with acquantances and clients, it's the bigger ones that are more supportive. The thinner ones look at me like I'm crazy lol. I've stopped telling everyone for that reason.

[keystone28 18]

" Oh Great" now I will be the fattest one in the group. When that type of conversation happened it was the last time we got together.

Really?!? Thats not very nice of them! If I were you, I wouldnt let comments like that bother you, in fact, if they chose to say things like that to you, I'd offer that perhaps you're better off without friends like that.

[Rycherchick 147]

Omg, I cant believe someones friend would say, Great, nowI will be the fattest person in the group? Who the hell are some of these " Friends"?

I am older so I dont surround myself with shallow people. I have a few friends but tbey are all loving and uplifting. I could never be friends with anyone who is jealous of me. I guess its a 40`s thing. Everyone is supportive of me. You gotta cut people who dont have your best inyerests.

[gmanbat 5,889]

Omg, I cant believe someones friend would say, Great, nowI will be the fattest person in the group? Who the hell are some of these " Friends"?

I am older so I dont surround myself with shallow people. I have a few friends but tbey are all loving and uplifting. I could never be friends with anyone who is jealous of me. I guess its a 40`s thing. Everyone is supportive of me. You gotta cut people who dont have your best inyerests.

I felt kind of out of this conversation until your comment about being older so you don't surround yourself with shallow people. Through our lives we were stuck being around folks who were jerkoids due to work and family ties but when we get older we tend to move away and get away from annoyances. I don't have much time for brainless flies buzzing my ears. If you think you're like that at 40 wait until you're in your 60's.

[Malexa03 18]

My husband knows the full truth. My daughters and reast of my family just think I had the hiatal hrrnia repaired. I told some close friends the truth. My skinny friends have been very supportive. My friends who had wls are also very supportive. I have one friend where we have talked about our weight since high school and we are now 43. She is a nurse and has been the most critical including calling me up the night before surgery and telling me not to get it. Then she admitted to being a lityle jealous. She was 210 lost 60 pounds on her own and gained back 30. But kept off that othrr 30 for two years. She called to see how I was doing a few days after surgery and was giving me a hard time about the post opt diet and that it isn't enough and what about fat soluable Vitamins. I am sure a lot stems from jealousy. ... but we have been friends since 5 th grade and I did not excpect the extreeme negativity. Because she also struggles with weight I really thought she would be my biggest supporter. Instead my size 0 and 2 friends are and they cant wait to walk with me and have me on their 5k teams for local races. I am looking forward to it!