Lying about Weight Loss Surgery !

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

That's what my nephews call me, probably because my brother squealed on me about my profound weirdness and the times he had to rescue me in the 60's.

I changed my title to "Your Hippy Uncle". Why fight it? Wonder wear I can score some bell bottoms?

Hey.. I like bell bottoms

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

I'm a newbie' date=' but that has nothing to do with it. I couldn't help but laugh all through this thread. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. Who cares what anybody thinks........including this post by me. Most people come on here and other forums to help them with their upcoming surgeries by getting "first hand " information from real patients. Then if they stick around after their procedures, it is to offer the same information to other newbies. It really isn't in my mind what anybody thinks of me or my values or even my personality. And that being said, there isn't a chance in h*ll that I'll agree with everyone on here or them with me for that matter. So......everybody shake hands......chill out and and tell me where it hurts......Oh, and just to get my own totally biased opinion into the mix........."The surgery won't lose the weight for me.......eating a whole lot less.....and correct foods.... and exercise and and and and and..... for always.... is what is going to make me lose the weight. And if I don't do it......or if I don't keep doing it......I'll remain fat or put it all back on like I have done in the past. All the surgery will do is help me limit intake......something I have not been able to do in the past. No different then if someone put a gun to my head and said they'd shoot me unless I limit my intake..........Kinda drastic.....but effective analogy. Both alternatives, quite uncomfortable or even lethal. So......as far a I'm (JUST ME....got that.....no one else.) concerned.......I'm the one responsible for losing any weight. Not the surgery.....not any pills.....just me. Yeah sure I don't want any discomfort the tiny little stomach will cause if I eat too much......so I won't. Hence the reason to get the surgery........But still just me responsible for actually losing any weight and keeping it off. Done! that's my opinion. Not meant to be anyone else's and I don't care what anyone's reaction to it is either. I just want to be skinny and healthy ......for whatever time I have left. And what I tell or don't tell anyone is of no consequence to me. Now let's get back to me finding out about the crappy food and drinks I'm gonna have to switch to.[/quote']

Well said !

[buddy love 18]

I admire you for being able to tell the truth. I have not had the courage to tell anyone except a few people. In all honesty' date=' I am ashamed that I had to resort to surgery to beat obesity. It is something I am working to overcome. Don't be too harsh on those of us who have chosen to keep it a secret. It really isn't anyone else's business, and WLS is a very personal decision. I tell people I am eating a lot of Protein and exercising. That's not a lie, unless you consider it a lie by omission.

-Kendra[/quote']

The truth will always set you free trying to hold on to a lie is hard work and you and I have enough hard work to do hold your head up you and only you were brave enough to confront your issues and none of those people have walked in your shoes my son is 6 stone I picked him up yesterday and realised I did that and since starting the journey I've seen good bye to 9.5 stone only 9 more to go and if I feel this good now how good am I going to feel after the next 9 this. Is your life it's not a dress rehearsal it's yours eyou don't need to justify your life choices to no one just you the lie is just messing with your mojo...... unless deep down you just prefer to lie

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

The truth will always set you free trying to hold on to a lie is hard work and you and I have enough hard work to do hold your head up you and only you were brave enough to confront your issues and none of those people have walked in your shoes my son is 6 stone I picked him up yesterday and realised I did that and since starting the journey I've seen good bye to 9.5 stone only 9 more to go and if I feel this good now how good am I going to feel after the next 9 this. Is your life it's not a dress rehearsal it's yours eyou don't need to justify your life choices to no one just you the lie is just messing with your mojo...... unless deep down you just prefer to lie

Yup !

[gmanbat 5,889]

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Oh' date=' I know ... <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

Believe me, I love all the newbies more than anyone can know. It is the newbies that become the vets who continue to support all the other newbies. For the most part, I stay away from these threads which, as you can tell, is very polarizing.

I think IAmDeborah summed it up nicely in THIS post. People who have found the "answer" want to share the good news with everyone who will listen and can't understand why everyone else wouldn't want to do it to. It reminds me of my father. He loved having children (had 6) so much he often proselytized the virtues of being a parent and would tell you to your face what a dis-service you were doing to yourself and those around you by not having children.

Of course, those who choose not to have children do so for their own reasons. They have been on their own journey in life and have their own reasons for not having kids. When asked about their reproduction status, as happens constantly when couples don't have kids, are they responsible for sharing something they want to keep private? Is it wrong for them to even tell a white lie to protect their privacy? What if you overhear this conversation with your friend and you know she has fertility issues. Is it your responsiblity to tell her she is lying ... that she should share her journey because somebody else may also be suffering infertility issues and could benefit from her story? Whose job is it to determine whether this information is shared?

As for myself, I don't care at this point. I do share with most folks now that I am at goal. Even when I am not asked. As I have pointed out a few times, my concern is with the person researching WLS or the freshly sleeved individual who, because of the strong nature and language of the OP, feels coerced into doing something they may not feel comfortable doing. That if they decide to keep a personal matter private, they are lying. I just don't think that is fair and is irresponsible. We have to remember, there are hundreds if not thousands of people who merely browse these forums never joining or posting. They are researching and figuring out what the procedure is all about. It is my belief they should come away from the forum knowing that it is their decision to divulge whatever information they want to whoever they want. As has been pointed out on this thread and dozens of others, many people believe saying "reduced portion sizes (carbs ... whatever) and exercise" is not lying. I agree.

The OP has said I (or others) have put words in her mouth or twisted them. I have been quoting her postings, so I don't know how I could have done that, but ... That is fine. It seems she has softened her tune, which I appreciate.

GMan, you know I love you, but I, too, must disagree with your disagreement that this is not a form of bullying. Per wiki, bullying is: the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others. Calling someone a liar is coercion to change their behavior.

So, in about two more weeks, this topic will be posted again. Perhaps I will be smart enough to avoid this serenity trap.

I just don't understand ...if you don't work out at the gym and tell people you do . How is that not lying? I guess lying is different these days ! I think this is a touchy subject because there is many people that probably front these same sort of lies.

[gettinMeBack 380]

I don't tell because I don't feel it's any of their business to know anything about my personal life. I think most people around me only want to know things about "how you're feeling" or "what the kids are up to" just to have something to talk about or gossip about later.

However' date=' if I hear someone talking about getting WLS and I think my experience will help them, privately, I pull them aside and let them know I've had it and that they can ask me anything that will help them decide if it's right for them.[/quote']

I do the same thing. I don't go out announcing it to the world and I only told my closet friends and family but if I hear someone thinking about it or find out someone has had it I will share my experience

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using VST

[SpaceDust 585]

I do the same thing. I don't go out announcing it to the world and I only told my closet friends and family but if I hear someone thinking about it or find out someone has had it I will share my experience

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using VST

I'm more or less the same way about things.

I haven't had this surgery yet, but I had nose surgery a few years ago that was phenomenally successful in correcting some breathing and sinus issues. It wasn't a big secret, but I also wasn't telling everyone about it - it simply wasn't necessary for everyone to know my personal healthcare decisions. Most people at work just knew I planned to be off for a few days and working from home for the following week. It was likely guessed that it was health related, but not expressly stated as such to anyone but my boss and his boss.

I did, however, talk to a couple of coworkers who were considering options for similar issues to let them know the pros and cons, and talk a bit about my experience if they wanted to know more.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I just don't understand ...if you don't work out at the gym and tell people you do . How is that not lying? I guess lying is different these days ! I think this is a touchy subject because there is many people that probably front these same sort of lies.

Again, it goes to the your own moral compass. If you feel your privacy has been invaded ... perhaps the person asking is notoriously nosey ... maybe it's a person who always has to one up you. Who knows why, it doesn't matter. You have made the decision at this time, you just don't want to discuss it with anyone. Perhaps you have been shamed for years going home from school in tears because of the way people made fun of you. Perhaps you have never had a date in your life or the last 5 dates have told you how much better looking you would be if you just lost a few pounds.

Even if you have never been the subject of ridicule, surely you know others have. And perhaps you have been ridiculed because of your weight, but you have always been able to blow them off. Not everyone is as thick skinned as everyone else. Some folks are sensitive and insecure about their weight.

I don't know your friends history of being overweight. I wasn't their grade school friend, nor did I comfort them if they were ever made fun of ... I don't know their journey. What I do know, is they made a decision to make a change in their life to get a tool to help them start doing things different. How they choose to respond to people is their own decision. Perhaps if I had led a more righteous life, I would be justified in judging them, but I haven't.

Have you?

If they feel the need to respond in that manner, that is their decision. Like I point out in earlier threads, I have stretched the truth on job applications to help me make more money. I have perhaps exaggerated my assets to woo a woman and I have kicked a ball onto the fairway to better my lie (pun).

Have you seriously never done anything of the sort? Why do you get to judge, anyway?

It is a touchy subject for me because I know the pain obese folks have to endure. If we want to protect our privacy by telling a white lie, I am not going to judge them and I will defend anyone who feels this way.

I understand what you are saying. I do try to live a life of rigorous honesty now. But i am by no means qualified to judge the reasons why somebody either tells or doesn't tell people about their WLS.

Just curous, have you read my other posts on this thread? How would you respond to the infertile couple? Just curious ...

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Again' date=' it goes to the your own moral compass. If you feel your privacy has been invaded ... perhaps the person asking is notoriously nosey ... maybe it's a person who always has to one up you. Who knows why, it doesn't matter. You have made the decision at this time, you just don't want to discuss it with anyone. Perhaps you have been shamed for years going home from school in tears because of the way people made fun of you. Perhaps you have never had a date in your life or the last 5 dates have told you how much better looking you would be if you just lost a few pounds.

Even if you have never been the subject of ridicule, surely you know others have. And perhaps you have been ridiculed because of your weight, but you have always been able to blow them off. Not everyone is as thick skinned as everyone else. Some folks are sensitive and insecure about their weight.

I don't know your friends history of being overweight. I wasn't their grade school friend, nor did I comfort them if they were ever made fun of ... I don't know their journey. What I do know, is they made a decision to make a change in their life to get a tool to help them start doing things different. How they choose to respond to people is their own decision. Perhaps if I had led a more righteous life, I would be justified in judging them, but I haven't.

Have you?

If they feel the need to respond in that manner, that is their decision. Like I point out in earlier threads, I have stretched the truth on job applications to help me make more money. I have perhaps exaggerated my assets to woo a woman and I have kicked a ball onto the fairway to better my lie (pun).

Have you seriously never done anything of the sort? Why do you get to judge, anyway?

It is a touchy subject for me because I know the pain obese folks have to endure. If we want to protect our privacy by telling a white lie, I am not going to judge them and I will defend anyone who feels this way.

I understand what you are saying. I do try to live a life of rigorous honesty now. But i am by no means qualified to judge the reasons why somebody either tells or doesn't tell people about their WLS.

Just curous, have you read my other posts on this thread? How would you respond to the infertile couple? Just curious ...[/quote']

Fair enough ... Peace But just to let you know I am NOT a judgemental person ! Just thought it was easier just for her to tell the truth. But respect it either way .

[sweetmomma05 33]

Fair enough ... Peace <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> But just to let you know I am NOT a judgemental person ! Just thought it was easier just for her to tell the truth. But respect it either way .

Still??? There's mold growing in this subject already lol delete this thing already

[gmanbat 5,889]

Still??? There's mold growing in this subject already lol delete this thing already

Yup, this gum has been chewed enough.

[PdxMan 4,292]

Still??? There's mold growing in this subject already lol delete this thing already

Yup, this gum has been chewed enough.

Oh, come on ... we're just getting to the good part of kissing and making up ...

And sadly ... this very topic will be hashed out again in one form or another in a new thread in just a couple weeks.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Nah.. This subject and a few others are like cheese and seem to survive mold growth.. Just scrap the mold off and get into it again

[BuriedBombshell 63]

It's not about people shouting it out to complete strangers ' date=' I'm talking about the people that get asked " how did you lose so much weight? " then reply "oh I cut out the carbs and work out. " that's how I lost 200 plus pounds!!! Yeah right

I think those people look at them like ... Yeah sure anyways lol. I feel embarrassed for my friend that has always has to hide behind a fake lie.[/quote']

I lost 100 pounds in a year doing Phentarmine and then the Hcg diet. Even did a YouTube Channel (BuriedBombshell . So there are other ways. And yes, I've even lost 30 pounds in a month!

But....I gained 40 pounds back, and I'll be sleeved on 3/29, and though I may YouTube for support and accountability, I won't tell everyone that asks. I honestly don't have time for the 20 follow-up questions...let alone the opinions. If someone needs the help, or may be interested, or is going to be cooking my meals, then I will tell them. And trust me...I am not a person who cares what people think.

I just don't understand why people are so concerned with what others choose to share. It's not like it's the secret cure for cancer. We aren't hurting anyone by not sharing. If someone needs to be "educated", that's what google and PCPs are for.