Lying about Weight Loss Surgery !

[newat52 1,612]

D@#% newat52...Niiiiiicccccce! I don't mind telling some ppl but everyone else can kick rocks. I don't ask ppl how they can afford the car they are driving or house they are living in. I take offense to most ppl that pry.

This lady asked me years ago while I was grocery shopping how much I made, I told her " oh, around the average most ppl make who work for my company". Shut her down! I don't know you and we aren't friends. I owe you nothing.

I totally understand! I am floored by what people think they have a right to ask. I was just raised to be private. It's who I am. Now when people ask a personal question such as salary I look them in the eye give a big smile and say " If you'll forgive me for not answering such a personal question, I'll forgive you for asking such a personal question." Most people will turn red and stammer If they persist, that is where my good graces end.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

I'm not hiding anything and you really need to watch the way you word things or once again people are going to take offense. Obviously' date=' because just a few agree with you it's ok to continue to make judgement.. Once again? Enough already.

*shakes head.. And sighs!*

[/quote']

Just wondering woman to woman. How in the world is this making judgement ? Maybe you can open my eyes.. Not to be rude or a smart ass but I don't see it and maybe you can show me where in this comment i was being judgmental. I honestly I really do not care if anybody agrees with me or not . Everyone's entitled to an opinion, right ?

[bandicootc 91]

I tell everyone' date=' just as I did when I had my lap band placed. In fact, this has been easier since all I have to tell people is that I'm revising it, or if they're not familiar with WLS I say I'm getting it fixed.

My biggest motivation in telling the truth has been that I have quite a few people in my life that also struggle with their weight. I felt like if I said something like "I am just eating smaller portions or healthier foods and working out," it would lead them to feel like I had just succeeded where they were failing still, and that just felt mean to me.

I also know how hard this is, I've been through a WLS surgery before, and I know that the more people around me that understand what I'm doing and why, the more support and accountability I'll have as I move forward. Yes, there are some negative people, but my confidence in my decision and my need to be healthy far outweighs that.

But I also understand not everyone is comfortable telling people. To each their own.[/quote']

I don't have a problem telling anyone, but if I did, the point you just made would make me want to tell people.

[Lander 74]

Violation of forum rules

[newat52 1,612]

Just wondering woman to woman. How in the world is this making judgement ? Maybe you can open my eyes.. Not to be rude or a smart ass but I don't see it and maybe you can show me where in this comment i was being judgmental. I honestly I really do not care if anybody agrees with me or not . Everyone's entitled to an opinion, right ?

Exactly my point so worth telling ... That's why I didn't understand why some one would want to hide it!! And yes it is okay if they choose too! Gee shhhhh! Touchy subject for some , because they choose to hide it !! More power to them ! Just not my cup of tea ! I'd rather be straight forward .

I know you didn't ask me but I think if you look at the above post and most of your other posts, people take issue with your instance being private as "lying" it's not. Plain and simple. Your friend says she is dieting and exercising. Just because she didn't offer everything doesn't make it lying or hiding it. You keep calling it a lie. When anyone would try to provide a different point of view you nearly all the time take it back to being about you. "Yeah, I get that but I think she needs to stop lying." Over and over you keep talking about lying. Then in the post above you just rename it. Basically, what I see is once again, you make it about you while you dig at others. By saying it's ok to choose to hide it, some people are touchy about it, because they choose to hide it. Then you go right back to making it about you.

It just doesn't come across as genuine. To be honest it comes across as judgmental when you say yeah, some people are touchy and need to hide and lie but I would rather be straight forward.

Quite the backhanded dig.

Not trying to be mean but you asked. I know it's not just how I see it as a great deal of others commented as well.

Hope this helps you find the answer you are looking for.

[kshepa 77]

It is one of those things that is up to the individual. Leave space for those who feel more vulnerable in this process.This part of the process is a "walk a mile in someone elses shoes" thing. There will come a time that you want your conversations to vary from the surgery onto the habits you developed' date=' and the healthy things you are doing. It is a phase of the process. Time tells so, so much.

Sleeved 1/4/12 5'10" from size 26 to 14.[/quote']

I can't tell you how much I agree with what you wrote. I was sleeved 05/09/2012 and was selective about who I told at first, but as the pounds came off and people began asking, I told them about the surgery. Now 110# later, not too many people ask anymore, and I'm so comfortable with myself, I barely talk about it anymore. I. Have a whole new life now. I'll talk about if someone asks with ease. Time does change our perspective of things.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

I respect any decision people make that their life . And if I sounded judgmental I didn't meant to. Sometimes I might not be the best with words . I admit that . Honestly I don't care what anyone on this forum thinks and feels about me . I'm the type of person that can let things slide right off. But I am not a judge mental person . If u saw me or knew me you would know this . I am covered in tattoos and hate when people judge me just by looking at me . So once again . I just think this whole thread got taken waaaaay out of what I was trying to say. But I guess that normal on this forum. Kinda got used to it .

[sweetmomma05 33]

Are we still on the same subject?? Good lord!!

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Are we still on the same subject?? Good lord!!

Hahahahahaha right ?

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

I respect any decision people make that their life . And if I sounded judgmental I didn't meant to. Sometimes I might not be the best with words . I admit that . Honestly I don't care what anyone on this forum thinks and feels about me . I'm the type of person that can let things slide right off. But I am not a judge mental person . If u saw me or knew me you would know this . I am covered in tattoos and hate when people judge me just by looking at me . So once again . I just think this whole thread got taken waaaaay out of what I was trying to say. But I guess that normal on this forum. Kinda got used to it .

I'm so tired of this I can't even type right anymore

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

I'm so tired of this I can't even type right anymore <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

Write lol

[Gwenny 13]

Half the time when people lie about it ' date=' no one. Believes them anyway! So it kind of makes for more gossip and that's what they were trying to avoid in the first place. I dont think there is a diet out there that you can lose 30 pounds in one month .[/quote']

It's possible I lost 32 lbs this month on my own. Just sleeved today:) but I do think it's probably rare.

[flmama 105]

Who are these rude people who ask questions about your weight and how you lost it?

If I was asked such a question, after first thinking how incredibly rude it was and that the asker must've been raised in a barn...I would graciously answer, "with a lot of hard work!" and immediately change the subject.

If someone asked me that question about a friend of me, I would tell them that I am not privy to his/her personal life. I wouldn't suggest they ask that person...because again, it is just a rude question to ask.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

It's possible I lost 32 lbs this month on my own. Just sleeved today:) but I do think it's probably rare.

Good job !! Keep it up , that's great

[gmanbat 5,889]

Who are these rude people who ask questions about your weight and how you lost it?

If I was asked such a question, after first thinking how incredibly rude it was and that the asker must've been raised in a barn...I would graciously answer, "with a lot of hard work!" and immediately change the subject.

If someone asked me that question about a friend of me, I would tell them that I am not privy to his/her personal life. I wouldn't suggest they ask that person...because again, it is just a rude question to ask.

Good point, Flmama.

One tactic I learned in my hippy days was to go ultra-regressive. Answer like a 3 year old.

"How did you lose the weight?"

"I got less fat"

"Yes, but how did you get less fat?"

"It went away"

"Yes, but what did you do to make it go away?"

"I wanted it to."

"You wanted it too? But how did you lose the weight?"

"I got less fat"

Eventually they will get exasperated and shut up.