Eating With People Who Don't Know About My Sleeve

[fonally 107]

I think if I were you're husband' date=' I'd be really interested in knowing you felt this way. Tell him how you feel, and let him talk to his family. I'm sure thay they don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, they probably just interact differently, for example, my dad and I can be pretty frank and blunt about things, and not hurt each other. We kid each other about getting old, getting fat, and a few other things, that might just be your husbands family dynamic.

Let him talk to them, it will be so much better in the long run than then finding out that you lied to them because you thought you couldn't trust them. Disception is a violation of trust that is very hard to get over.[/quote']

Your the man!! I tell everyone who wants to know and I tell some people who I don't even know!!Ha! I love myself and believe we all have to love and be honest with ourselves as well as the people around us. There is no shame in trying to improve your health. EVERYBODY has something. If they do laugh be secure in that it is their insecurities and insensitivity. You need to love yourself enough to see their faults and not let them hurt you.

[mwrarr 244]

We actually just started talking to them again. We didn't talk to his family for 6 months because of a stupid miss understanding. It is really hard getting through to them. I'm a really blunt person and they don't like it at all. So I don't feel like they do it out of bluntness I just think it's because it's one thing they know will hurt me. I hate to say that they are out to hurt me but sometimes that's how it feels. My husband has tried talking to them several times and it just makes it worse. Excuse my mouth but its just a shitty situation. The only reason I do anything with them is because my kids adore them and my family is 2000 miles away :/ I don't want to lie to them but I also don't want them to laugh at me. Last time I went on a diet his dad said' date=' "well if this one lasts maybe you'll actually fit in with our family" and then his mom and sister started giggling. I'm not really a very insecure person, I've kinda just always rocked what i had ya know but they are in my opinion just mean spirited and I just don't want them to ruin this for me. I'm so excited beyond belief. Like I don't think anyone is as thrilled to get cut open as I am and my family is kind of already being downers so thats why I'm on here so much. I'd rather surround myself around people that are excited for me and see the beauty in this surgery rather then the people that think its a cop out or a hoaks.[/quote']

I agree with your reasoning for not telling them. They don't deserve to know. Let their nasty remarks go in one ear & out the other. **hugs**

[Lexy 8]

I even told the clerk at the grocery store when she asked what I was buying the small spoons for. She was very obese and maybe my response planted a seed.

[No game 14,436]

I really don't think that choosing not to tell "everyone" is out of shame, not loving yourself, or not being strong.

We all are just different...people in my life know about it. And yes I've even told a few strangers about it. But it is my choice my decision on who and when to tell and I reserve the right to change my mind about it everyday!

So live on people some like to tell, some don't!

And some of us are all over the place

[Strangefruit 179]

We actually just started talking to them again. We didn't talk to his family for 6 months because of a stupid miss understanding. It is really hard getting through to them. I'm a really blunt person and they don't like it at all. So I don't feel like they do it out of bluntness I just think it's because it's one thing they know will hurt me. I hate to say that they are out to hurt me but sometimes that's how it feels. My husband has tried talking to them several times and it just makes it worse. Excuse my mouth but its just a shitty situation. The only reason I do anything with them is because my kids adore them and my family is 2000 miles away :/ I don't want to lie to them but I also don't want them to laugh at me. Last time I went on a diet his dad said' date=' "well if this one lasts maybe you'll actually fit in with our family" and then his mom and sister started giggling. I'm not really a very insecure person, I've kinda just always rocked what i had ya know but they are in my opinion just mean spirited and I just don't want them to ruin this for me. I'm so excited beyond belief. Like I don't think anyone is as thrilled to get cut open as I am and my family is kind of already being downers so thats why I'm on here so much. I'd rather surround myself around people that are excited for me and see the beauty in this surgery rather then the people that think its a cop out or a hoaks.[/quote']

Wow... My in laws are rough too... I dont blame you at all for not wanting to share your surgery info - which is personal medical information - with them.

Last time I ate out w co-workers that do not know about my sleeve, I picked at my food... I simply told them that I had had a late Breakfast and that I should not have had any of the appetizer (both true). I asked for a box and got three more meals out of my lunch!

[Rycherchick 147]

L Williams,I cannot believe your inlaws speak to youlike that. Why is your husband not stepping in to saysomething? You are his wife and by that fact alone you deserve respect from them. How dar any man say oh if this diet works you'll finally fit into our family? I don't know you from Adam but i want to punch him in the face. Why is your husband alowi.g this treatment of you? I would ditch them thin or not. What freaks!

[lwilliams65 102]

I'm one of the ones that didn't tell many ppl at all, not because I'm ashamed, just because I don't like being questioned and having to defend my decision, if you will. I would either not go, or tell them you are citing back on your portions to get healthy. If they make some nasty comment, first of all, thats exactly when your husband needs to step in. I would NEVER allow my family to talk down talk my husband and that should be nipped in the bud immediately. If he doesn't say anything then you should. I would certainly point out to them that health is your top priority, not 'fitting in with their family'. I think when you hand it right back to them, they may see how stupid their comments are and that you aren't phased by them. Oooh girl, what's their number, I want to call them right now! Where do ppl get off thinking it's okay to talk to ppl like that?! If you dont want to tel them, don't! They can say what they want but when it works and you are rocking it, they can all kiss your skinny tail!

Lol... thanks!! My husband always sticks up for me but he is kind of burnt out cos they are always rude. It's worse because they are jut so ignorant. And I usually say what I think but it gets me in trouble because I have no sensor. Zero sugar when I talk and it always ends up in drama so I just dont want to tell them. But I dont really like lying. I guess im not going to tell them but if they comment on my small portions ill probably just be like oh yea I had surgery, I didnt tell you guys??? lol idk

[lwilliams65 102]

Wow... My in laws are rough too... I dont blame you at all for not wanting to share your surgery info - which is personal medical information - with them.

Last time I ate out w co-workers that do not know about my sleeve, I picked at my food... I simply told them that I had had a late Breakfast and that I should not have had any of the appetizer (both true). I asked for a box and got three more meals out of my lunch!

Im glad to know im not the only one with sucky in laws lol. If i had a sucky husband too id dip but he is incredible so ill deal with the lame family members just so I can have him cant have both i guess. My sister has awesome in laws but a sucky husband lol. Ill take the way i got it over how she has it hahahah

[lwilliams65 102]

L Williams,I cannot believe your inlaws speak to youlike that. Why is your husband not stepping in to saysomething? You are his wife and by that fact alone you deserve respect from them. How dar any man say oh if this diet works you'll finally fit into our family? I don't know you from Adam but i want to punch him in the face. Why is your husband alowi.g this treatment of you? I would ditch them thin or not. What freaks!

lol they are total freaks. My husband really always says someting. I swear, he is the best. We didnt talk to his family for 6 months cos of something stupid they said to me. It was a misunderstanding but none the less he did take my side. Its kind of hard to explain them... my hubs and i have been together for 6 years and his family has just never liked me. They smoke and do drugs and I dont care but I dont want them to do it around my kids and they've always had a problem with that. For me, its just better to not sayanything because no matter what I do say, it back fires. And anytime my husband tells them they are wrong its just drawn out drama.

[Banned member 320]

I haven't been questioned about how much I eat. Sunday we had a superbowl party and I didn't eat that much but no one said anything. I went to a Army wives meeting and was only able to eat a small amount and no one questioned me. None of them know that I had surgery, it just never came up and I didn't feel the need to announce it or mention it. If someone asked then I'd probably be honest if they were also obese but if they are skinny I'd probably keep my surgery to myself. Do what's right for you.

[GypsyQueen 198]

I have told everyone I see on a daily/weekly basis. It's no secret and they will watch it in action. Now high school chums, Facebook pals, people I see years apart at a time? They don't need to know, I'm a different weight every time they see me.

[missmeow 156]

They smoke and do drugs, essentially the opposite of your current lifestyle on top of being buttholes to you? Why do you want go out with them? Seriously, tell your hubs to enjoy the dinner and stay home, or figure out some other activity that doesn't revolve around food. You don't need that nonsense.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Trust me.. You don't have the suckiest in-laws.. I DO, or did. They have passed away and I seriously doubt they are resting in peace. I spent 30 years in in-law hell and it didn't matter what my husband said to them. What ever he said, they would blame that on me, too. Nothing matter.. It was always my fault!

No in-law knows of my WLS .. Uh uh.. No way! In their eyes, If you're overweight you're not perfect. Ok, rant over

Back to OP

If you don't want to tell anyone then don't. I told kids and husband ONLY. No plans to telling anyone. I don't want to tell, therefore, I'm not. Simple. It's my life and there it is.

[Banned member 320]

^^^Sounds like my inlaws! I don't even talk to them anymore and that's just fine with me