I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

What is up with all these penis posts?

I am really depressed today. I am so tired of being alone and I just feel like I will be forever. I need to get my mind on something else. It seems like all I think about is how much will I lose, what can I eat or not eat, and I wonder if I will be alone the rest of my life. I need to get a life.

Why don't you take your penis enlarge posts and post them on the thread that's for men only. We don't need large a large penis. We are mostly women here. And large doesn't necessarily mean better anyway.

Hi denise..

I feel the same way. Don't worry your prince charming is out there. I hate these penis posts too. They are sooooooooooo annoying. I am getting my first tattoo today so i gotta go get ready :mad:

Denise,

you made me laugh with your anti-penis posting post.

I haven't dated in about a year. I keep having dreams about ex-boyfriends. I am moving in about 4 weeks and am planning on starting to date.

I have me a few match.com guys a couple of weeks ago but I just wasn't feeling it so I pulled my ad. Which I have done about 4 times in the last year. I don't know why I just haven't been feeling like dating. Eh.

Hello everyone

I just found this Post and have been reading bits here and there. I am being banded tomorrow and I can't wait. But, I am in a relationship that I have a gut feeling is on its way out after 17 years, it could just be my insecurities, but it is not a good feeling. Anyway, I am tired of being alone, I was always happy with where we were and now I want more and he can't or wont give me more. it seems where are never at the same place at the same time.

I am trying to find new places to go and meet people. After 17 years of saying I never want to get married, I can't believe that I have been saying this, but I do want to get married and have that someone special to share thing in my life with.

I am so unhappy with myself that I know I won't meet anyone until I can get past that. So tomorrow is step one!

Thanks Joan. I j have to get my nerve up to post a profile somewhere. I don't think I am quite ready yet. I want to lose about 20 more lbs first. Plus I am not into long distance relationships, so it's not going to be all that easy for me to find someone. It's hard too because at 54, the guys I look at online that are 60 look like old men to me. I am not sure if I could handle someone too much younger than me. Going through the change of life really screwed up my sex life. I know someone younger wouldn't want to put up with that. It's a dilemma, because it's the older guys that are retired and willing to relocate. I hope when I lose a little bit more, I will feel good enough about myself to be ready to take the plunge and post a profile somewhere.

Oh Denise,

I went through the change of life at age 28 when I had a hysterectomy. So, I guess maybe that's why I haven't dated until now. No one would put up with me. LOL I have changed my profile on plentyoffish.com, but I'm not getting much response there. I have to tell everyone that I have had the best luck on BBWdatefinder.com and bbpeoplemeet.com. However, you have to pay to be on those sites, plus there are still those on there just looking for phone or cyber sex, so you have to be very careful on all of the sites.

I will update you guys a little on my men, as Chrispy says. The 26 year old is gone. He got kicked off of the website I met him on and I called him on it. Apparently I wasn't the only woman he was talking to and he must have been using some strong language or something to get booted, so good riddens to him. I made the 37 year old in Kansas angry, so he's gone to. I talked to the 37 year old in Houston the other day, but I don't expect a lot to happen there either. The most interesting thing that's happened is the guy in Nebraska. He messaged me about 3 days ago and told me he was going to Africa on business the next day and then he wanted to come to Dallas to meet me. So, the next day he messaged me and told me he had been robbed in his hotel room and his son had been shot in the let. He wanted me to send him money! Please! I was always very skeptical of him because he said he wanted to marry me the first message he sent. Huge red flag there! I'm sure I'll never here from him again since I wouldn't send the money. What a jerk!

There's this other guy who lives in McKinney, the town where my daughter works, that I've been talking to for a while. I only wanted him for a friend, but he asked me out, so I went out with him last night. He took me to dinner and everything! I had a good time and will probably see him again, but there's no huge love connection there. So, I'm still looking. But hey, when some of the guys leave, I just find some new ones to talk to. Eventually, I will find the right guy for me, at least I hope so.

I'm still very depressed because I can't have my surgery for a year. You guys keep me in your thoughts and prayers over that. I'm not doing well down here with my diet. :cry

~Joan

Awwww, thanks.

Maybe I'm an exception, but I'm not big on sex...mostly because the only thing that can come of it, at this point in my life, is ill-fated. Not to mention, I don't really enjoy it because I can't get over the risk involved, which makes me mildly neurotic for a couple of months afterwards. TMI...perhaps, but what can you do.

I'll do my best, though, to give a man's opinion.

You are toooooooooo funny! That's why you are supposed to use protection when you have sex! LOL Sorry, but that's just the nurse in me talking. I to would love to have the affection, but I guess I miss sex to, so I'm a little different than you guys. I guess 25 years without makes one feel that way.

~Joan~

Why don't you take your penis enlarge posts and post them on the thread that's for men only. We don't need large a large penis. We are mostly women here. And large doesn't necessarily mean better anyway.

The only reason I posted anything about the penis was because Kristi did. I won't post about it again, because I gave my opinion. LOL

~Joan~

Hi denise..

I feel the same way. Don't worry your prince charming is out there. I hate these penis posts too. They are sooooooooooo annoying. I am getting my first tattoo today so i gotta go get ready

What kind of tattoo did you get? My daughter is trying to get me to get one, but I'm still debating. I hate pain!

~Joan~

I posted a pic of my tattoo on the Lap-band Lounge... Go take a look

Oh by the way, I went out with mike saturday and had a blast. We did RUN into my ex and he wouldn't leave us alone.. Me and mike were sitting on a bench in the mall talking and my ex (security guard) and his buddy must of walked passed us @ least 100 times in the 45 min that we were sitting there.

I got home and had 4 emails from my ex.. I think he was jealous LOL

Wootsie you are SO funny! I love your stories! And good for you for getting out there and having fun, but still using your head at the same time.

Kristen, men are such idiots sometimes! Just ignore your ex. lol

I know i should forget him..I'm trying too...LOL but its too funny that he wouldn't leave me alone. Geez...he is dating someone already why the hell worry about me ..Must of been a little bit jealous..

I don't mean to step on any toes. But why blame him? If you're done with him--only you have the power to stop the hands, the kisses and other things that comes your way. Even conversation can't be going on long without replies. When I wanted to step away from my ex-wife--but she called until she made me run out of unlimited minutes (joke)--I learned--hang up the phone or better yet--don't pick it up. She tracked me down once I moved away. Asked me why I moved--even though the divorce was dry on paper. I acted like her. I said--"Oh I am in the middle of something--bye"--hung up. A Lady who learned to dislike....I did her to the same--sorry--the phone is not clear---can't hear you...Whatever it takes to lose your lover. If you go back--just because you are weak--you need to do the grown up thing--play dumb. Act like you hardly know him...

thanks lee love. I apprieciate your input. I am trying to move on but i HAVE never been great at that.

How is everyone else doing?

Well girlies (and guys) it's offically over with tattoo boy. I broke up with him tonight. He had been acting differently over the past few weeks and I just had enough so I told him sionara. Easy come, easy go. lol. The good news is that I already have two dates and it's only been a couple hours. lol. I "unhid" my profiel on Match and two people I had been talking with before saw my profile back up and wanted to go out. So what do you think of them apples tattoo boy! lol Oh well.