I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

thanks lee love. I apprieciate your input. I am trying to move on but i HAVE never been great at that.

How is everyone else doing?

Well, that girl that I mentioned in a previous post that I thought was perfect for me said that she was ready to go back out with me until some falling out with her roommate (female) happened. Somehow there's some other guy that's fitting in here. Not really happy about that. So, now I'm getting the bat to both sides. She's seeing someone else AND she's not thinking about getting back together again. I've been seeing other girls on and off since we broke up, but they've all been for not, thus far. I'm just really pissed because we would be a really good couple. I think we both see it, too.

See, here's the kicker, now. I want to stick around and wait to find out what she wants to do, but I'm trying to be her friend and now that I know that something else is going on, I'm not quite so eager. Yes, I know. There's a million fish in the sea and I shouldn't be worrying so much about one girl, but I'll tell you that there's just something about her that I'm absolutely smitten with and I can't get over it...

Help?

Never again..

I have to agree because i am soooo smitten with my ex. LOL..I felt like i fit right in. He has been messaging me alot lately but its small talk. He did mention to me the other night that he wanted to see what happens because he really liked being with me. but i don't think i want to sit around and wait. You should date too and if you really are smitten with her just take it a day at a time. Go out and have a good time but also keep in the back of your mind everything that has happened and is going on right now. You might find by going out with other people or even friends you might get less and less smitten with her.

~Kristen

The only reason I posted anything about the penis was because Kristi did. I won't post about it again, because I gave my opinion. LOL

~Joan~

Joan, I wasn't talking about your posts. There were some ads on here for a link to buy some penis enlarging product.

Have you noticed that you can't go back and look at previous pages and the arrow that makes it go forward to see if there is a new page, brings up something that says the page has been moved? What is going on? I am afraid I am missing catching up on the posts.

They changed everything on this board.

Hi everybody, how's it going in single dating land?

Neveragain, my best advice is to try to be patient. Make sure she knows you're there if she needs a friend. Invite her and other friends to go out to a fun movie, or quick dinner. Something fun and easy where there aren't any expectations. When she see's how cool you are, and how fun you are to be with, she'll begin to see you in a new light. It's best to start off as friends, no conditions. Hopefully soon she'll see in you the special something you already see in her... it's worth a try. Otherwise, you'll always wonder what would have happened if you only stuck around.

Joan, leave those guys in Houston alone!! just teasing Where are they all hiding?

Take care,

Karla

Okay I have been seperated/divorced for almost a year now, and I have my first date this Saturday night.....okay I have not been on a real date in like 5 years. We are meeting for coffee and than he is taking me to dinner after that. This is going to sound so stupid, but since I don't drink alcohol now and I am now in my 30's if their is an attraction is it okay to kiss someone on the first date....for some reason I watching Sex in the City for so many years I am so confused as to what to do anymore. I am very confident and comfortable with myself and even more so now that I am down almost 50lbs.....I guess what are the dating rules, I have been out of the game so long, and I feel I am even in a more grown up adult league now!! Any advice would be so great. Thank you so much!!!!

Well, t

See, here's the kicker, now. I want to stick around and wait to find out what she wants to do, but I'm trying to be her friend and now that I know that something else is going on, I'm not quite so eager. Yes, I know. There's a million fish in the sea and I shouldn't be worrying so much about one girl, but I'll tell you that there's just something about her that I'm absolutely smitten with and I can't get over it...

Help?

All you can do is be her friend but keep other options open. Maybe some day she will realize it's you she wants. Maybe you'll meet someone else in the mean time and realize it's her loss.

Okay I have been seperated/divorced for almost a year now, and I have my first date this Saturday night.....okay I have not been on a real date in like 5 years. We are meeting for coffee and than he is taking me to dinner after that. This is going to sound so stupid, but since I don't drink alcohol now and I am now in my 30's if their is an attraction is it okay to kiss someone on the first date....for some reason I watching Sex in the City for so many years I am so confused as to what to do anymore. I am very confident and comfortable with myself and even more so now that I am down almost 50lbs.....I guess what are the dating rules, I have been out of the game so long, and I feel I am even in a more grown up adult league now!! Any advice would be so great. Thank you so much!!!!

I think it's ok to kiss someone on the first date if you want to. For me, I prefer to wait until the second date but I certainly have kissed on the first date and wished that I had been kissed by some first dates. lol. Congrats on your date! I hope you have fun! I have a date on Sat night too, so we'll have to check in on Sunday. lol

I definitely think it's fine to kiss on the first date, if you are both attracted to each other. Sex is another story. I enjoy "Sex in the City" too, but I don't go along with how they sleep with someone right away. I think it's important to build feelings with someone before that.

How did you meet your new date? I am so afraid to put a profile up until I lose more weight, and that doesn't seem to be happening very quickly.

Just wanted to check up on everyone. I went out for ice cream wmy friend jon last night. He is sooooo damn cute. The rugged hardworking type :confused: . However he is dating someone (and plans to break up with her in the next week)..but I had a good time anyways. It felt good to get out. been kinda depressed again

~Kristen

Persistent and constant confusion, as usual. haha. I would really like to meet someone who I'm actually attracted to. I've been out with a few people, but I have yet to meet someone who has the mutual feeling.

I like dating, don't get me wrong, but it is a real pain in the ass sometimes. hahaha.

Where are all of you meeting people to date? I had a profile on yahoo personals and match at two separate times. The problem I had was the other party didn't want to pay the money, so they couldn't read my message if I had sent them one. They make you join if you want to read and unfortunately, around here everyone seems to be too cheap to do that.

Denise-

I used Match.com, I am thinking of trying eharmoney if I don't have any luck with Match. Around here most people seem to pay. I think that it is hard to meet people, every guy I have meet in person lately that I have liked has been way to young, and I feel more like an older sister to them. I have never had luck with Match.com before, but am hoping it turns around. Good luck in your search, I know that on eharmony more people pay for the service and I think that the pickings are better....but I am starting out cheap and trying Match for 3 months. Good Luck!

Laurisa

Geesh I am gone for a week, and I come back and all of these new people are on here and I dont have time to go back and read all the posts! darn! Although I did manage to get far enough back to find my name "kristi" in the same sentence with "penis" and I am not sure how I like that. Its been a few yearsLOL. Sorry its been so long- I guess dating takes up a bunch of time.

Its so cool to find someone with which there is mutual attraction Woo Hoo! He's so cute, we try to wake each other up and race to see who can text "good morning" to the other the fastest. I feel like I am in HS again, except I never felt this way about anyone, not even my ex husband. Ha ha on him. I have butterflies every time i talk to him.

We are going to go to 6 flags next weekend, sans the kiddos, can't wait for that let me tell ya.

Chrispy, what happend with tattoo boy? Or if its too private, its ok. just curious.

Joan, I am still happy with plentyoffish.com you singles need to go there, totally free dating site. Glad I went there, its where I met this guy I am seeing now.

Welcome to all of you new posters, sorry I cant rremember everyones names right now, but I will I promise.

I have "officially" lost 60 lbs. now:heh: Woo hoo for me! Went from size 22 to a 14 right now, so I am happy. I also have been trying to train for a 5K run, and I managed to jog, sweat, stumble, and generally just lag behind the rest of the group, but DID NOT walk, for 2 miles!!!! I was beat.

ttyl

Kristi

That's fabulous Kristi! Is that the secret to losing? I should try to run more than use the stair stepper and the ellipitcal if that's true. I am so tired of not losing.

I am too afraid to post a profile anywhere until I get a lot more of this weight off. too many times when someone asked for my picture, that was the last I ever heard from them. That was very depressing.

Joan, I wasn't talking about your posts. There were some ads on here for a link to buy some penis enlarging product.

Have you noticed that you can't go back and look at previous pages and the arrow that makes it go forward to see if there is a new page, brings up something that says the page has been moved? What is going on? I am afraid I am missing catching up on the posts.

They changed everything on this board.

Hey Denise,

I haven't been on in several days, so I just found the new format tonight. It is a lot different, but I haven't had problems navigating yet. However, this is the only thread I've been to so far. I don't pay attention to the ads on the side, so I guess I just missed all of that. LOL

~Joan~